Processing feelings and emotions?

[WeirdHumans]

I come from a family of introverts/emotionally lacking. I’m on good terms with my family but I was raised in a way where my feelings were never acknowledged and perhaps seen as a bad area to explore/mocked.

I on the other hand am an extrovert. I get all my energy And motivation from being around others and their positivity.. and I get completely sucked out of my world when surrounded by negativity.

I read a lot online about needing to place emotional boundaries. Looking after my emotional health. But it’s such a foreign concept to me.. I’m slowly learning and growing, teaching myself basic emotions.

I’m a very emotional person.. I feel those things. I act on positive emotions. I empathise with others.. I support others emotionally to my own detriment at times.. I’m greatly attuned to the feelings of others and my own kids and can predict how someone is feeling and how to be sensitive to that.. I’ve been told I’m very emotionally intelligent..

But when it comes to my own feelings and emotions I can’t process them unless I’m talking out loud with someone who is capable of validating. I’m never too sure where to start understanding why a certain situation triggers my overwhelming emotions and I have no idea how to express..

I know I will probably get many responses saying to check for ASD, maybe it’s possible I don’t know.. but I think the true issue is that I never ever had my feelings validated as a child by any of my parents and so still unable to do so independently.

I’m writing because I would like to know if someone has a similar issue and is managing to work through it.. and how can I start learning how to process my feelings ??

My lack of ability to process feelings and emotions alone has led me to “overshare” just so I can process those feelings outside my own head which helps me feel a bit in control.. but the drawback is that I end up regretting how much of my personal life is on display.. furthermore, I don’t want to become that negative friend who uses others as a sound board.

It just almost feels like a basic human need for me that I end up unable to restrict myself when I’m Emotionally overwhelmed.

I recently learnt how to validate my own feelings with regards to specific situations but it doesn’t seem to come to me naturally and I would like to improve.

Any advice ?

I have a friend who over-shares. She tells everyone everything...well not EVERYONE but she does share a LOT. I'm always surprised by it because I think I'd be worried about people judging or gossiping.

Can you try keeping a diary instead perhaps? Nothing wrong with talking to close friends of course but not everything!

Diary andbl counselling.
You know i read that children who had a volatile childhood tend to be sensitive to others moods and feelings. They have had to wqlk on egg shells and study the cue, like voice tones and facial expresions in order to protect themselves from the violence that would ensue .
You can get telephone counselling, reduced counselling.. group therapy, online webchat therapy..its not as expensive aa it used to. Better health i think sets the price based on your income but some therapists also willing to resuce the fee if you are on a low income.. but 3ven writing in a diary is so cathartic.. good luck.

Use your empathy and sensitivity to nurture your inner child. Google inner child work.

Journal and counselling. Helped me. Good luck!

Therapy for sure.

Yes, I think counselling could be very helpful.

I have schema therapy for emotional neglect during my childhood. Please read this, it’s amazing and echos schema a lot. highly recommend. X x