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Original poster

How to word a birthday card when someone is very sad?

28 replies

FoxOnABox · 13/10/2019 20:22

I'm hoping for some words of wisdom please MN.

How can I word a birthday card without the usual Happy Birthday etc?

All I can come up with is 'Thinking of you' but it's a bit.. sparse?

OP posts:
TheWolves · 13/10/2019 20:22

Just say happy birthday normally

StealthPolarBear · 13/10/2019 20:23

Love and best wishes on your birthday?

ScreamingValenta · 13/10/2019 20:26

Wishing you the very best on your birthday.

Original poster
FoxOnABox · 13/10/2019 20:32

I can't just say happy birthday Wolves, she has had two deaths to deal with in the past 12 months and I feel that would be very insensitive because it is going to be a very difficult day.

Thank you Stealth and Screaming.

OP posts:
Oly4 · 13/10/2019 20:34

Just wanted to wish you happy birthday and let you know that you are in my thoughts. I will phone you/meet you for coffee on X date...
I think following up with an arrangement is a nice gesture so she feels less alone

pastaparadise · 13/10/2019 20:35

Maybe acknowledge that the past year has been really hard but that you're thinking of her and wish her happier ones to come?

ParkheadParadise · 13/10/2019 20:41

FoxOnABox
It's nice of you to think about her card.
When my dd died 2mths before Christmas I received a card from a close friend telling me to have a fab Christmas and hope Santa's good to you🙄🙄.
I think you should say she is in your thoughts and hope too meet up soon.

dancemom · 13/10/2019 20:47

Birthday wishes

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 13/10/2019 20:54

I think you should say that she’s in your thoughts , especially on that day. Saying Happy Birthday isn’t really suitable is it, but letting her know that you’re acknowledging both her birthday and her sadness is good.

Lonelykettleshed · 13/10/2019 21:03

'Thinking of you on your birthday'?
My DM died 2.5 months ago and my birthday was last week. I probably cried more on that day than I have since the funeral. The 'have a great day' cards were never displayed.

domesticslattern · 13/10/2019 21:12

Wishing you a peaceful day, and sending lots of love xxx
(Actually that works better for Xmas...)

TheWolves · 13/10/2019 21:13

Having people die doesn't mean you can't have a normal birthday card. If you want to send her a nice message, do it separately.

Marmighty · 13/10/2019 22:27

What do you actually wish for her on her birthday? Write that, e.g. Thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful birthday? It might be appreciated if you mention the people who won't be there, if appropriate. A heartfelt and sincere message goes a long way when you're grieving, don't be scared of acknowledging that it might be a difficult time for her.

NerrSnerr · 13/10/2019 22:30

Having people die doesn't mean you can't have a normal birthday card

You wouldn't write 'have a wonderful day' if you know the day will be hard and the person won't have a wonderful day.

I would put something like 'sending lots of love on your birthday'

Thankyouplease · 13/10/2019 22:32

My dad died days before my birthday. I preferred it if people acknowledged this when addressing my birthday.
Maybe something along the lines of — sending you love/best wishes on your special day. I hope the next 12 months will be kinder to you.

Legomadx2 · 13/10/2019 22:33

Happy birthday and here's hoping the next year will be so much better for you

chocatoo · 13/10/2019 22:41

Best birthday wishes,

IncrediblySadToo · 13/10/2019 22:44

Having people die doesn't mean you can't have a normal birthday card

No but for many of us we don’t want cheery ‘have the best birthday ever’ etc birthday cards

Have a littke sensitivity you moose!

PurpleDaisies · 13/10/2019 22:46

Sometimes in the middle of a tough time, it’s good to just have some normality.

IncrediblySadToo · 13/10/2019 22:48

@FoxOnABox

I think anything along the lines of ‘lots of love on your birthday’ is fine. Don’t worry about it being ‘sparse’ Bette that than gushings about having a fab birthday etc.

If you’re close you could say something about knowing she might be finding it difficult on her birthday, but if she’d like some company for lunch/dinner/drinks you’d love to see her.

Paperdolly · 13/10/2019 22:52

Hope this is not too insensitive but I had this in a card once....

I wish I was a glow worm as a glow worm’s never glum. It’s hard to be unhappy with a light stuck up yer bum!

MrsDimmond · 13/10/2019 22:53

Sending you lots of love on your birthday and hoping the next 12 months are kinder to you.

ElphiasDoge · 13/10/2019 22:55

Sending lots of love on your birthday is perfect!

Depending on how much you want to say you could say preface with “I know the past year has been hard” and/or end with some wishes for the coming year.

Original poster
FoxOnABox · 13/10/2019 23:05

Thank you everyone, your posts have been a great help Flowers

OP posts:
SunshineAngel · 13/10/2019 23:09

I have been in this situation with a friend, and I promise you that if they're in such a bad place that an upbeat birthday card isn't appropriate, they won't care enough to think too much about it.

They will just thank you and move on.

I always just write, love and best wishes on your birthday, when something bad has happened.