Considering quitting work once all kids are in school.

[Allegorical]

There is an increasing disparity between what I earn and my Dh earns. I work part time in a nhs clinical, high pressure job with, however, little prospects of earning any more as I have reached my peak. DH’s earning power has recently skyrocketed, working for himself. Increasingly I am enjoying work less and less because of a number of factors but it does fit perfectly around my young family of three children under 6. If one of the children is ill on my work days dh is always expected to take the time off as I get such a lot of grief for being off it just isn’t worth it plus his work is more flexible. Although it seems ridiculous when he earns so much more than me. He has always been very good about it, saying the nhs need me (tongue firmly in cheek). As a family we would probably not be any worse off financially if I quit as he can work longer hours on the days I work. I can envisage things getting harder when all three children are in school and we have multiple activities to run them around to, three lots of homework to do etc. I currently see it that my job pays their nursery care which I think they benefit from and I like that I have my work identity. It also covers the cost of a cleaner, ironing lady etc. I worry I would struggle having a sense of purpose without work. I am not much of a domestic goddess. Crap cook, no discernible other talents or hobbies other than the gym so worry I would flail and become bored and crucially uninteresting.

No harm in being a SAHP if that's what you want, although based on what you said at the end of your post, it doesn't sound like you do really?
Could you think about a job change to something that is lower pressure and more family friendly? If you have to retrain and/or volunteer to gain experience, you could do it (or most of it) while they're at school.

I couldn't imagine not working at all. It's about much more than money, like you my job brings me a sense of purpose. I get satisfaction and enjoyment from my job, that I wouldn't get if I wasn't working.
I completely understand your thinking behind it but I'd look at other options first. Could you reduce your hours further? That would be my first option before giving everything up altogether.

I would keep your part time job because they are very hard to find and things may not always be good with your OH. Keep your independence.

I agree with AnotherEmma it doesn't sound like you would be suited to being a SAHM alone, it sounds like your work gives you your identity. Also, I think you would end up doing all of the household stuff, would you be okay with that?
It's interesting that several of my friends who went back to work ft or long ish hours pt are looking to cut back when their dc go to school. School hours are more difficult to negotiate child care around and they seem to have more issues with wrap around care than they ever did with nursery.
Could you look at reducing your hours? Volunteering in an area that interests you?

Maybe I am best staying working for as long as it is manageable. Pretty much everyone in my social circle works part time - think teachers, nhs, hr, project management. So I think I might be a bit lost.

I would consider moving jobs but am in such a niche area I would probably have to travel or have a longer working day . A lot of the nhs trusts reasonably close to me have issues with staff parking, as in there is none and you have to get park and ride which is just not feasible. I feel like I have got myself stuck. I couldn’t work any less hours as I don’t think I would be allowed to to maintain my skills. At least in this job I can pretty much have the holidays I like, can park easily, can get home in time for the kids pickup. It just isn’t making me happy any more, but that is more down to the people I am working with.
It’s so hard building a career with a family when there are so many other factors to consider when taking a job.

I'm a sahm of 15 years as my job was not compatible with family and my dh's earnings are mulitiples of mine.
I think your job sounds like the perfect balance and wish I could do/ find similar.
I have loved being a sahm and never regretted it but recently find myself wishing that I worked a little too. As the kids get older and find their own identities and abilities (and being menopausal) I feel a bit unimportant at home although we all recognise that I'm not.
I have a an enviable life, friends, cleaned, cash, nice house etc but think your work sounds ideal for a little personal pride.

At least in this job I can pretty much have the holidays I like, can park easily, can get home in time for the kids pickup.

Don't underestimate how incredibly valuable that is.

The people you're working with will almost definitely change in time. If that's the main source of frustration remember it's temporary.

Sometimes there are periods where your job is just the structural support that enables you to have happiness in the other parts of your life, sometimes the job also contributes to that happiness.

I think it would be short sighted to jack it in.

Similar here @user1494670108 and I would like to find a part time job that fits in with family life and DH’s job but it’s proving hard. Personally I would keep working for now and see how it goes. The people you work with will probably change and the rest of it seems a good balance.

Back in the 70s when I first got married I would’ve said no brainer
Leave work but since my first marriage went pear shaped and so many others seem to head that way I’m now all for keeping your independence
More and more women seem to take such a huge financial hit and end up in massive debt fighting their way through family courts that now I think differently

I hope this never happens to you btw but it’s something women have to consider more and more

Could you train for a career that builds on your current skills and experience but is in a different field or service? Offering consultancy or individual clients or working in the Voluntary Sector?

With household income high and childcare mostly covered it sounds like the perfect opportunity to re-train or re-divert your skills.

Have a look at what is cross transferable in your skills. Maybe book an appointment with a careers coach type advisor?

I’d not quit. Work is more than just a salary. It gives you financial independence should a relationship break down or worse. It models s work ethic to children, pension, self esteem etc.

I understand how you feel.

I'm self employed so was really flexible when my dcs were little. I found Primary school fairly easy to manage, although I worked lots of evenings and weekends.

Now they're teens and I'm finding it all really hard. It's a combination of more school admin, 2 lots of various activities, 2 lots of social lives to facilitate (we live fairly rurally with a very wide school catchment area). The hardest thing for me is the emotional and psychological support I'm doing. Both my children use me as their private counsellor and dump most worries and waking thoughts on me all the time. I'm very pleased that I have that kind of relationship with them, but it leaves me mentally exhausted. Plus I'm 10 years older than I was when they were in the swing of Primary.

I was you, in your position I think I would give up work for the time being and enroll in an Open University Course that will lead me on to future career prospects in the future. I would love to do this. There are so many pathways and subjects to study out there.