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Need some help getting my shit together

4 replies

subwaysaladfan · 12/10/2019 23:10

I really need some help. I've recently become a single mother after separating from ex dp, it's very amicable and was a joint decision and everything going great.....

...except I've realised that I don't really have a life. I have 5 kids 17,17,15,5,3. I stopped working in 2014 when I was 35 weeks pregnant with dc5 then when I was ready to start work again I fell pregnant with dc3 and suffered really badly in the pregnancy so decided not go back until I felt ready. Well dc is now 3 and starts school nursery in January and I'm looking at working part time in the new year.

I've been so busy with life in the last 5 years that it's just occurred to me that I don't really have any friends. I have one best friend who I see once a week. I have other friends but it's been so long since I saw or spoke to them I feel like I'm out of the loop and feel silly sending them a text and striking up a conversation now when I've isolated myself for so long.
I miss having a life, I miss having friends but most of all I miss adult interaction. I spend 98% of the week at home, I'm a homebody and apart from food shopping and the school run I don't really go out unless I have too. Now I know this isn't healthy and I need to branch out but I just love being at home, especially now the weathers turning.
I've been on anti depressants Since the beginning of August I can't even make out if they've made a difference because I still feel a bit like I just want to be invisible and left alone. But at the same time I want to be one of those people who have plans, i want a purpose. I'm 35 and I feel like I've spent the biggest part of my life raising kids and now I'm ready to make changes but I don't know where to even start?
Help would be much appreciated Confused

OP posts:
subwaysaladfan · 13/10/2019 08:03

Anyone?

OP posts:
bitchfromhell · 13/10/2019 08:08

Go easy on yourself. Why do you need plans or a purpose if you’re happier at home atm? When you start work in the new year you’ll naturally get busier and make new friends. Try and get some rest and relaxation in beforehand and enjoy this last bit of being a sahm.
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and are just trying to put more on yourself when really you need to be taking the pressure off and learning how to be yourself again.

Peeeas · 13/10/2019 08:08

What do / did you enjoy doing? Or what have you always wanted to give a go?

Perhaps if you could focus on an interest / join a gym / take up a volunteering role, that would be a gentle way to start meeting new people.

Be kind to yourself Smile

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sandgrown · 13/10/2019 08:10

Contact your old friends. They will be pleased to hear from you . I spotted an old school friend on Facebook who I had not spoken to in 40 years and we are having great fun catching up. If you go back to work you will.meet some new people there too. Are there any school events you can get involved with? They are usually desperate for volunteers. Good luck x

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