Confrontation with my mum since I've become a Mum

[Worththewait2019]

Not had a particularly good relationship with my mum but since I've become a mum 6 months ago it's got even worse. When my baby was only days old she told me I'd have to express so she could have him! I told her no way. It really upset me and made me feel vulnerable with hormones all over the place. I'd been trying for year for this baby with numerous ivf attempts.

I've since learnt she's criticising me to others because I won't let her babysit. (I'm not ready to leave my baby with anyone let alone her & besides I'm still bf)

Our relationship has progressively got worse and I feel like the only way to maybe clear the air is to tell her how she makes me feel and that I know she's been calling me behind my back, and of course how she hurt me when he was only a few days old.

DH seems to think she will just carry on being how she is but I feel like I need to speak about it in an effort to make things better.

I'd like some advice on how to go about this if anyone can help?

I don't think talking to her will improve things and will probably make it worse. She won't listen, she'll tell you you're being over sensitive, and then she'll start having another go at you about not letting her have the baby.

If the relationship has never been good, maybe you should look at backing off from her rather than reaching out, which just allows her to rebuff you again.

I know we all want to feel kindness and approval from our mothers, but some are never going to give them. Concentrate on your much wanted baby - you have the chance to break the mould she created in your own parenting.

(And don't give in on the babysitting. Heaven knows what she'd be telling your DC, and what she'd be doing - some of it just to spite you.)