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Original poster

Upset. School trip

77 replies

WWLoss · 11/10/2019 16:29

DS wants to go on a school trip.

It was 390 quid. He filled in the form for a provisional place (based on behaviour etc)
It all has to be paid by December.

I was told on here to ask about pupil premium being applied as DS is on free school meals.

I emailed and never received a reply. Emailed again. Was still waiting.

DS has just come home all happy as he has 'got a place'
Only they have upped the price by almost a quarter :( because of some changes.

He also has to take spending money and food money as its half board only.

I feel really shit.

I just tried to email the person organising it, but the email bounced back, and now school is closed.

I just feel like I shouldn't have let DS fill out the provisional form before I found out about the pupil premium.

Now the price is almost 500. I have to get passport. Spends. Food money...

I just can't do it all before Xmas. He has 3 siblings and 2 of them have December birthdays

I feel like I've got his hopes up and now I'm going to have to crush them.

I'm so mad at myself.

OP posts:
GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 11/10/2019 17:16

Honestly just tell him you can’t afford it. Is it for the whole year or a certain number? If not whole year then he’s not missing out

Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 17:16

I didn't think he needed the passport straight away. We've never been abroad so I didn't realise they needed it to book flights

OP posts:
Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 17:19

It was just for a few kids.

TBH I'm surprised he wanted to go. It doenst sound like a fun trip at all Confused

Would it be awful to offer him an alternative?
Or does that sound like a bribe 😂

OP posts:

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BrokenWing · 11/10/2019 17:24

Does he need a passport? Ds went to Belgium/France with the school last year and didn't need one, the school took them on a collective passport. But they travelled by coach/ferry.

Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 17:33

I think so. Its Italy and they are flying.

OP posts:
MrsMaiselsMuff · 11/10/2019 17:37

You don't need a passport to book flights.

myolivetree · 11/10/2019 17:47

Such a difficult position to be in.

You really need to get in touch with the school. Seems like you haven't been able to do that yet. On Monday or as soon as you can ring the school and ask to speak to the head of his year. They can ring you back. You really need to know if the school can offer help re pupil premium etc. and they are the ones who will know.

You will have to get a passport if he goes. That can take a few weeks tbh.

It's very tough but it sounds like you will be putting yourself under massive pressure to pay this at this time of year.

If you can offer him an alternative that is fine. It is not a bribe. We can only do our best as parents.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/10/2019 17:57

How old is he? Maybe just say that if he takes this abroad trip, that he won't be able to go on future ones. He may then reconsider. You can squirrel the amount away then for the next one.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 11/10/2019 18:00

Going to Italy doesn't sound fun Confused it must be one boring itinerary! Trust a school trip to make something fun boring Grin

Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 18:05

Name change its a religion trip to the Vatican. And he is firmly atheist 😂
It surprised me that he wanted to go as he moans about his RE classes and the mandatory in school church visits.

OP posts:
Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 18:06

I think he wants to go on a plane. He's almost 15 and never flown. Plus going with his mates.
It's probably more the adventure than the destination

OP posts:
BumbleBeee69 · 11/10/2019 18:10

I feel for you OP, school trips are becoming more and more expensive. I imagine alot of people pulled out too, the timing is not ideal either ie Christmas..

I hope you get something sorted. Flowers

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/10/2019 18:13

Tbf I'm an atheist and I was blown away by my visit to the Vatican.

Lifeisabeach09 · 11/10/2019 18:24

Agree with PPs. Speak to the school directly on Monday. Lower income families will get a reduced amount and you can arrange and extended payment plan. If your son gets PP, this should be going towards school trips.
But definitely ask family for Xmas money as £35 is two days spending money.

colourlessgreenidea · 11/10/2019 18:35

He's almost 15

Getting him out washing cars, doing odd jobs, garden tidy-ups, etc. He’ll be able to pull together a good chunk of it that way - no reason why he shouldn’t contribute if you’re in such dire financial straits

ChristinaMarlowe · 11/10/2019 18:51

Call the main office number on Monday and ask for a call back from the member of staff in charge of the pupil premium stuff. Tell them you emailed twice and whilst you know you can't expect to receive the financial help you thought you would at least hear back (after not one, but two emails) before you had to tell son if he could go. He is now about to be bitterly disappointed which is unfortunate , but also horribly embarrassed and THAT was entirely preventable. If you're unhappy with how that goes say you want to raise it with the governors and if it makes no difference to your request then go ahead and meet the governors. It may not get you any more than an apology - depending on countless factors we don't know about - but it's definitely worth bringing it to their attention if the member of staff that handles it (usually a teacher) is that callous.

DonnaPaulsenSpecter · 11/10/2019 22:26

Sometimes we have to allow our children to face the disappointment, they will move on. If you cannot afford something - you simply cannot afford it and it is important to explain finances to children when it comes to these things.

If you cannot afford this trip then you need to talk to your son and be honest with him. It is a lot of money and you'll find it's not only your son who will not attend there will be others.

There is no need to put yourself through hardships and stress for such school trips if you cannot afford it. Your son will get over it, you need to teach them resilience and understanding of financial circumstances.

DonnaPaulsenSpecter · 11/10/2019 22:28

Just seen that he's 15, then yes you can say no and easily be honest with him without sugarcoating things. He will have to accept it and he is certainly of an age where he can be taught about finances.

DonnaPaulsenSpecter · 11/10/2019 22:31

Just an FYI to others that as Christmas approaches a lot of people post about their poor financial circumstances. Please do not offer money etc unless you are happy to lose out. You never truly know what is the truth on here and MN always advise the same.

(This is not to suggest I think that the OP is lying or asking for money, but this is how a lot of people get money from users on MN who feel sorry for them).

lumpy76 · 11/10/2019 23:25

I would be considering how much money you spend on extended family at Xmas compared with what your son will get from them. If the former is more simply say that you are not doing gifts (no matter how cheap) for extended family this year so that DS can go on the school trip. If the money you spend on extended family makes the difference between him going and not going you shouldn't be spending on extended family. Given that it is a religious trip you may find that you local church might be willing to help out - eg hold a coffee morning fund raiser for your son to help him go. Are there other ways he may raise some money to put towards the trip?

Original poster
WWLoss · 11/10/2019 23:27

I would never take money from anyone. My problems are mine alone

OP posts:
DangerMouse17 · 11/10/2019 23:34

I think you need to not panic at this point. Dont email or phone the school, go and talk to them! Explain the situation and ask how they can help. My ds goes to a faith school and they are very accommodating/helpful. Good luck!

BumbleBeee69 · 11/10/2019 23:36

I would never take money from anyone. My problems are mine alone

and whilst that's admirable.. it doesn't solve your problem either OP.

Lysianthus · 12/10/2019 00:04

@WWLoss For what it's worth, I had a similar situation. Bottom line, I couldn't afford it, so I talked to my DD and explained - probably earlier than I'd hoped - that we didn't have the cash for it. It turned out that only half her class went on the trip, so she didn't feel awkward. In fact (oddly) she actually said she didn't really want to go anyway, and maybe she was saying that to make me feel better but in actual fact once it got near to the leaving date, alot of her friends decided that they didn't want to go either.
My feeling is that it won't be the end of the world if your DC doesn't go, and there will be other trips, and this is a life lesson - you don't always get what you want. My DD, now 21, never held it against me and she's doing well!. Don't beat yourself up about it, your presence and love and hugs will always win out.

Cookiedough123 · 12/10/2019 00:09

If he is pupil premium (I cant work out from your post if he is or he isnt) then you will definitely receive some financial help. That could be from a payment plan to some of your costs being covered. I know that's what we do with PP pupils at our school. Local trips e.g. reward trip Alton towers is paid for and an amount is paid towards larger trips.

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