How to deal with this?

[AllInTentsWithPorpoises]

Ds is 11, 12 next week. Just found out that on the weekends the kids are with him he's been watching some films with a 15 cert. One specifically being Team America world police. I'm no prude but that's not suitable for a kid his age is it? What can I do, if anything, about it? It's not on my time or in my house but it is my kids (dd would have been in bed by then). I only found out as ds let it slip, his dad had told him not to tell me. I know there's been more, I just don't know which ones.
I don't think having a word with exh will have any effect as I doubt he'd see anything wrong. Am I over reacting? Exh was extremely good at gaslighting and can be very manipulative when he wants to be.

Omg if you think its inappropriate then you have set your boundaries and to look like good cop to your DS hes allowing him to go against you to look like bad cop. Admittedly there are some things in their peer groups that you cant stop them from seeing but if it's in your "control"then he needs to respect your choices and there is a reason for age limits on things!Have words!

Hmm. I wouldn’t mind. I’d rather they see/do stuff with an adult and talk about things openly than hide away to do stuff sneakily - and actual legal movies are certainly not a big deal.

You can't do anything about it. Just make sure your DS knows that he should tell his DF if he isn't enjoying the films for whatever reason. TBH i find film censoring a bit arbitrary sometimes and mine were allowed to watch 15s at that age (and i am a social worker!).

Did the kids seem affected or bothered?

On reflection I think it's less about the film and more about exh telling ds to keep it a secret. Exh has form for being irresponsible in many, many ways and this is tiny compared to some things he's done. I guess he's never going to change, I do worry at what point he'll start showing him 18 rated films and video games. Ds is actually still a kid and there's no reason to hurry his growing up.
Maybe keeping an open dialogue with ds is the most important thing?
And to whoever said about watching it with adults so they can discuss it openly, unfortunately exh will just assume ds is fine and ds is not always confident to say when he's not.

I'd completely agree. You know you can't change his behaviour so unless the DC's are telling you because they were bothered (I know you are worried about the long term effect but...) and they are asking for your help I'd keep your powder dry on this one.

If there is a row they might be put under even more pressure to not tell Mum.

You've a chance now to coach them a little and you know he wouldn't. At least you know it's happened.