How to say this in a nice way

[perhapsimight]

I never know what you actually think about anything because you are such a people pleaser and so I find it hard to trust what you're saying is not just what you think I want to hear.

Who do you want to say it to? Because unless absolutely vital I think I’d avoid that level of honesty to a people pleaser. It might really upset them. But it depends on your relationship with them (fence sitter)

I’d jut say that. You need to be really clear with people like that or they’ll head you off with whatever they think you want.

I think you put it the way you did in your OP.

‘ you can be honest with me’ ?

Okay sorry, it's my friend and I like her but this has been annoying me about her as I've realised she changes her opinion on things depending on who she is talking to, I know we all do it a little but when we just talk, the two of us, I don't know what she actually thinks!

I think we can all change our minds or see things the way others see them.

Check your name change, OP.

Could you try ‘I want to know YOU better, not what you think I want to hear. If you really want to please me, then just be yourself’

The problem is that people-pleasers often default to the ‘nice, agreeable’ response and don’t actually develop their own. I’ve found that beneath the ‘nice’ surface they can find it really difficult to have actual opinions, make decisions or (frankly) be very interesting. It takes so much energy to be nice all the time, and mirror other people’s attitudes, they often become stumped when asked what they deep down think/prefer/need/want.

Be prepared for a blank face, and to help your friend emerge slowly from that habit.