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What can we do for Christmas this year?

4 replies

floravus · 10/10/2019 14:09

DH is from a big family, I have a very small family. Growing up, we didn't spend Christmases with grandparents/extended relatives etc, we would always have Christmas just with immediate family. DH is the opposite and has a mum who likes the house as full as possible. Both fine.

However, my only real family left is my mum but we aren't hugely close and during my teen years she regularly left me alone over Christmas to spend it with different partners, so I don't feel a huge responsibility to make sure we host her for Christmas now. She does get invited to PIL's though. DH thinks this is perfect because he then gets to have every Christmas at his parents' house and never has to do the alternate family thing that his other siblings/cousins etc do.

I hold a slightly different opinion in that we should still alternate years, so one year he chooses where we go (ILs) and one year I choose. DH isn't against this but he doesn't like that my choice is just to have a small Christmas at home. He did mention that he would be happy to go away somewhere just us though.

This is our first year as parents and I will be 7 months pregnant. I'm not against going away somewhere but it does feel like a lot or organising with a nearly 1 year old and me fairly heavily pregnant. We have animals too that would need arrangements made for them.

Shall I just suck it up and go to ILs? At least then we would have lunch made for us! I don't dislike ILs at all, but everyone does Christmas differently, they eat much later and the food they serve is different to what I have always had. Again, their food is lovely, but sometimes I would like my own comforts like DH gets to have every year! I also just find the whole present thing awkward but I'm probably just weird with that. I just want to spend a day with my husband and child!

Any ideas or suggestions on what we could do? Go to ILs? Stay home? Go away?

OP posts:
DonPablo · 10/10/2019 14:12

This is the perfect year to go and have everything laid on. Reassess as the kids get older.

Make a new tradition. We do the Sunday after Christmas as our proper Christmas Dinner day, just us guys, proper Christmas dinner, I save a couple of pressies. Or make the 26th your family day?

Simonsaysitschristmas · 10/10/2019 14:18

Honestly OP, if I were you I would go to ILs this year. You will probably want to have a Christmas just you 4 next year when DC2 has arrived so I would fight the battle next year.

floravus · 10/10/2019 14:18

Boxing Day is the day DH spends with all the extended family (and cousins who were with other family etc) so I can't intercept that day too, and then New Year he plays golf with other family. DH works a lot so it isn't very easy to plan much more than those days off, but I do agree it would be nice to have lunch made for us!

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floravus · 10/10/2019 14:20

My only reservation on waiting until next year is that then we will be on the opposite year to DH's siblings if that makes sense? This year they are all spending it with their partners' families. But we could just do this year and next year with ILs and then just a small Christmas the year after that. I wouldn't mind hosting so I at least had a bit more say on the day, but we don't have the space unfortunately.

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