Can someone help.non violent abuse

[Purplegorilla]

My husband and I were arguing over something and he went off the rails swearing and shouting and then upstairs hes trashing the place, I've got scared and grabbed my car keys and driven myself away.
How can I report what hes done without having him arrested?
This isn't the first time, he hasn't hit me but he has grabbed my jaw, and grabbed my arm in from of our DC and driven erratically during disagreements.
I need it to stop before it escalates
Please someone help me

I have nobody here it's all his family and they would all turn on me if we split and he unwillingly had to leave.
I don't want my dc to miss out on that side of the family because of me

Should I video the next time he does anything? I just want him to know how serious this is. And to protect myself if something worse does happen next time

OP I can believe your children are not yet afraid of him and could quite possibly still adore him dependant on their ages.
However I imagine they've heard shouting and maybe even things being smashed up. You've even said he grabbed you in front of a child. It's so terribly sad that you can't see what damage this does to a child. There's another thread atm which is bloody heartbreaking where grown women are talking about what it felt like to grow up within domestic violence and how it's effected them to this day ( sorry I cant remember what it's called)
This isn't your fault, it's his. It doesn't matter what leads up to his tantrums, he has the responsibility to control his anger. But you can attempt to put an end to his behaviour towards you, which in turn will allow your children to grow up healthy and whole

No. You are not putting your children first. Not even close.

If you were you would want him taken away to protect them.

That's bullshit that they're not scared of him. You are - as an adult, who can get in a car and leave - but you think they're not?

Bullshit. How dare you.

If you don't believe me about how much this is fucking your children up: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Should I video the next time he does anything? I just want him to know how serious this is. And to protect myself if something worse does happen next time
I don't know, I personally wouldn't put myself at risk. What about going to see women aid or your GP and have it documented?
Oh and your children wouldn't be missing out on his side of the family because of you, it would be because of him. Do you want your children to have contact with people who would turn against a woman for reporting domestic violence?

How are you going to stand there and video him, when this time he scared you so much you ran out of the house?

I don't think that's your next best move really.

How on earth do you propose videoing him? Do you really think he'll stand there and allow you?

@Purplegorilla please talk to Women's Aid for advice. Don't video him, it could escalate things. Talking to your GP is also good advice. Come over to the relationships board. If you report your post (using the report button at the top of your post) you can ask MNHQ to move it there. The advice will be the same but people will be a lot kinder and understanding of how hard a decision this is and support you in doing what's best for your children rather than attacking you.

@runoutofnamechanges thank you I'll do that. I am reading the replies but honestly some of them are attacking me an making me feel like the worst person in the world when I ready feel pretty worthless tbh

I'll second what a pp said. It's already affecting your children.

Hes going to act completely normal once we get home and say that I overreacted.