Twins and party invite

[SheStoodInTheStorm]

Hi all.

Dd will be having a very small party for her birthday at a place where we will be paying per head. One of her friends at school is a twin and she wants to invite her, but doesn't play with the other twin at all and never mentions her.

What is the etiquette for inviting one twin and not the other?

Thanks.

My son is friends with a boy who has a twin sister and their mum is always very keen the children develop their own friends and go to parties without each other.

I think for me it comes down to age. When they are little the dc without the invite can get sad. But as they get older they have no expectations about going every where together.

My brother has twin girls and loves that they have their own sets of Friends. They are individuals after all.
He's never treated them as a set and they are never dressed the same. They are both completely different and that's how it should be.
Don't feel that you have to invite them both just because they are siblingsz

Invite the twin that’s a friend.

From a mother of twins

@pumkinspicetime it’s up to the parent to explain that the party is for sibling’s friend not their friend. You wouldn’t think a little brother or sister deserves an invite just because they might get sad?!

Parents who invite both ‘just because’ - please don’t. Regardless of whether the parent is a mad one that won’t let them socialise, it’s not your responsibility to make sure one or the other feels ok about it. That’s for their parents. I mean this in a ‘don’t feel you have to’ rather than nagging!

I didn't get mad with any parents around who was and wasn't invited to parties. I didn't expect invites for the other twin or ask for them.
My experience was that when they were little before parties became much smaller dc found it sad if one was invited somewhere and the other wasn't. As they moved through primary school they understood that they had different friends so went to different parties.As tweens this is no issue at all, in fact I suspect the opposite would be true.
I only have twins so have no other parenting to compare it to.

Bit close to home for me atm but yes only invite the friend.

My dds came as a set and still get invited to a lot together. They have similar friends but dd1 is more popular. We've had a number of incidents where she has missed out because people thought they had to have them both (indiscreet kids told them this in the playground).

We've separated them now and Dd2 is struggling to strike out on her own so no invites at all coming unless through dd1s mates. It's so hard to watch

I'd hate to think we'd upset them by only inviting the one, but money is tight and having the non-friend-twin there seems a little unfair on DD who could have someone she does play with.

I have twins in different classes. They are so different to look at that some people aren’t aware that they’re twins. They have some friends in common and some that are their own friends. They mostly get joint invitations but sometimes only one is invited and that’s fine. I also never assume that both are invited and only take a child to a party if their name is on the invitatuon. I’d hate people to feel some kind of obligation to invite a child their own child might not even like!

What age are the twins?

Age 6