'You'll get square eyes' and other lighthearted threats

[wanderings]

What nonsensical threats do you like to make to your children, or remember from your childhood? (Lighthearted please, no replies saying "never threaten something and not follow it through".) Here are some I remember:

Don't put your feet near the fire; you'll get them burnt off, like Pinocchio.
If you wear your trainers or wellies without socks, your toes might disappear.
If you put stones down that drain cover (under which rushing water was heard), a troll is going to sail along in his little boat, lift up the lid, and eat you up.
Witches (the child haters described by Roald Dahl) are real: the book clearly says it's not a fairy tale.

You'll get piles from sitting up against the radiator.

(Personally, I blame trying to push out 8lb+ babies not the radiator )

A trick of my uncle's which I loved was to make little me believe I was flying in a hot air balloon. In the garden, he'd stand me in a laundry basket, lift it into the air, and talk to me about the scenery below. Before this began, he would blindfold me, and give me this very sinister warning, in grave tones:

"If you peep, the balloon will crash to the ground, and you'll die."

Not a threat, but I used to have to hand over my chocolate bar for my nan to check it wasnt poisonous. I believed her and encouraged her to bite it first incase. She thinks its hilarious and is still so pleased with herself

Piles sitting on a cold surface

Chewing your fingernails and swallowing will cause appendicitis.

If you hold a guinea-pig up by its tail its eyes will fall out (!)

Loving the ones about holding a guinea pig by its tail (they don't have tails of course!), and "testing" the chocolate. Sneaky!