Should I move my kids to a different school?

[Tomovemykids]

Name changed as don't want to be outed. We live in a relatively small town. There are three primary schools; two primaries and one Infants/Juniors.

Eldest went through Infants, which is our catchment school, not a problem. Always loved learning and going every day.

He is now 8 and Yr4 so went up to the Juniors last Sept. He didn't have a good year at all, it seems quite rough and I've emailed the Head on a few occasions saying I have concerns about his safety and the apparent lack of lunchtime supervision (coming home with bruises on his legs and ribs, and one day on his cheekbone after being punched in the face by another Yr3 boy). School seldom call me to let me know he's been hurt...they say he didn't report it and they can't help him if he doesn't report). I've met with the Head a couple of times and although he says all the right things nothing has really changed. The school is in Requires Improvement.

In the summer term he was crying himself to sleep saying he doesn't feel safe there and wants to move schools. This was heart breaking.

My youngest is now in Yr1 at the Infants and seems settled enough (although that was Ofsteded earlier this year and down-graded to RI too).

I find it a real pain them being at schools located a 10-15 min walk apart from each other, and the schools don't always synchronise things like harvest festivals (so you have to pick your favourite kid on the day ) and TD days. This is a real pain, esp as I'm due to go back into the work place soon after a few years out.

I'm still not happy with the Juniors though (never hear anything good about it...), and would love the kids to be together. So I've made an appointment to go and look around one of the Primary schools, which has a Good Ofsted and spaces in the two year groups I need.

My husband is real anti me moving them though, as he doesn't see the problems! And thinks it will be too unsettling for the naturally shy and anxious 5yo. He doesn't do the school runs though and is incredibly risk-averse.

I can't move one and not the other as the start and finish times are the same but the schools at different ends of town.

So, dear MNers, if you've got this far (well done...Sorry it's so long) would you move the children to be together? Or think it's too much of a risk?

It is most likely that they would want you to start as soon as possible, I know when we were looking to move DD (house move) the school were very much that if we didn't move her immediately we may lose the place. (We did gamble and luckily still got her in) If the current school is having issues, others may look to move to, if there are spaces now I would take them. At the most you may be able to push to after half term (depending when yours is)

wrt them deciding or you deciding.

I work with families who often have to do big moves (think overseas) and who have loads of education decision to make. The general rule is, you involve the children in the decision, take their input seriously, but make it clear that YOU the parents have made the decision.

This is important, because if the move is not successful, or if it is successful for one but not the other, they are too young to have the weight/responsibility of the decision on their shoulders.

Also, most children cannot properly imagine what it would be like in the new school, they are limited by their current experience, and so even if it is an uncomfortable few days as they settle in, you are able to take a longer term approach, and they are not able to do that.

If I were you I would be moving them both as soon as possible. Feeling safe at school should be a given.

Thanks everyone. Although I've mentioned it to the kids I'm not making it a big deal and have said it's up to Mummy and Daddy to decide in the end.

Just got to wait til Friday and see what it's like and what my gut says after.

Why would you wait until after Christmas? Either the school is better in which case move them sooner rather than later, or it isn't better in which case leave them where they are. I would really try to persuade DH to come with you as he might actually agree with you if he sees the other school and how much more supportive it would be.

I'd move them

I really liked the school.

The 5yo and husband adamant they're not moving. 8yo and I still undecided. There seems to be equal amounts of pros and cons...

Does someone else want to please make this decision for me?! Parents evening next week so will put it all on hold til after then and see how we feel.

I think leaving it until after parents evening is not a bad idea. Good luck with your decision.

Hello all. I'm back and thought I'd update you as I'm in a quandary yet again.

We didn't move the children in the end as ds1 had a good start to Yr4, likes his teachers and hasn't had a single incident/injury. He seems settled enough. Hurrah.

Yr1 child is doing OK. I'm becoming a little frustrated with one of his teachers (he has two p/t-ers) as she's quite negative and very strict/doesn't follow his IEP to try to reduce his anxiety in class. Ds2 doesn't like her at all, but loves the other one.

Anyway, back to the Juniors and no fewer than SEVEN children have left my son's Yr4 class in the past six months. The first three at the end of last summer were due to relocations far away (fair enough). But we've now lost a further four this past few weeks and after speaking to a couple of the parents it's because they're not happy with the school. There's rumours of an 8th child leaving soon too. All from one class of 29?! And the past four/five to other local schools. Apparently the Head doesn't seem to care and isn't asking my friend (who is removing two children from his school) why. The places aren't being refilled which leads me to think parents in the town are choosing to send their kids anywhere BUT this school.

I never hear anything good about the school and am now panicking that I should have just got on and moved the children last Oct.

I really don't know what to do. My head says DS is settled and at least he'll get more attention from the teachers with a decrease in class size. My heart says something is definitely wrong with that school and the Head and we should jump ship like the other rats before all the local alternatives fill up...

@tomovemykids this school sounds remarkably like my dds school. Everything you’ve explained including the infant and junior school being 10/15 minute walk to there being 3 primary schools in the area. Everything you’ve said about the governors too.. DS has just left the juniors to go to high school, he had a few issues but ultimately they were worked out as we had strong relationship with former SENCo and the deputy. Hope it gets sorted soon

Yes I would them both ASAP

@Hadenoughofitall441 eek, hope I don't know you (in the nicest possible way!). We don't call secondary school high school here so I'm thinking maybe not?! So you stuck it out and stayed then? I'm wondering if we might be better off riding the storm and praying things improve soon.

@whattodo2019 my problem is the "best" school is full and the other one, which I went to look around in October, hasn't got an amazing reputation either. It was OK but I have my doubts and I've heard their Yr1 cohort is rather challenging and that's the class my sensitive anxious boy would be going in to.