The 'how would you like it if I...' conversation

[Zaphodsotherhead]

Was just over on another thread where a poster is complaining about her husband taking up a new hobby with a DC's mum and maybe getting too close to her.

And one poster said 'ask him how he'd feel if it was you saying you were going off to do said hobby with another man'.

It got me thinking. Does that tactic ever work? If the DH in question is determined to do whatever it is that she thinks he might be up to, isn't the answer always going to be 'I'd be fine with it'? Does it ever make them stop and think?

And if they do stop and think 'actually, I wouldn't like it at all if my DW went off doing a hobby with another man', would they actually have the balls to say so? In other words, would it make them change their mind?

It worked with and for me before yes

That's interesting, Mummybares. The only time I ever tried it I just got a shrug and 'if you like'. It was XH and in relation to doing housework though ('how would you like it if I just dropped my plate on the floor and never picked up after myself?' type question). And he was a dick.

So maybe it's situation dependent?

It may not change anything, but it can be a valid question to ask. I think the most beneficial part of asking the "how would you feel" question isn't in the verbal response, but the physical one. When someone up to no good is challenged, their body language can speak volumes.

Its such an easy one though if one wants to respond with arseholery. Easy picking.