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Need help after traumatic birth

1 reply

LLMD · 07/10/2019 15:07

I just don’t know where to start with getting my mind back on track.

10 weeks ago my beautiful baby arrived.

4 days before this I started having agonising pain and reduced movement and called the maternity hospital to see what I should do, they advised me to come in to be monitored and I did. By the time I got there I couldn’t not stand or breathe, the pain was so bad. I knew it was a kidney infection, I have suffered with them all my life. I explained to the nurses the pain was in my back and I knew it was my kidneys and about my history. They told me I was dehydrated and put me on fluids, pain killers and anti sickness (I was vomiting huge amounts of black vomit). This went on for 3 days, more pain relief, more anti sickness and I just vomited all medication out every time. I was confused, had a high temperature, high bp and was in and out of consciousness for three days, the whole time I reiterated this is a kidney infection, I know the symptoms so well. The pain was so bad I was asking to be induced or for a c section.
On day three they worked out I had a kidney infection which had developed into sepsis and I also had acidosis and the baby was now distressed.

I was rushed in for an emergency c section under general anaesthetic. Myself and my DP both did not get to see our baby arrive. Baby was also suffering sepsis and was rushed to NICU to be ventilated etc. He was starved of oxygen for a while in the womb and required hypothermic treatment to cool his brain and try to prevent brain damage.

This is the most traumatic thing I have ever experienced. It has been 10 weeks and I can’t stop thinking about it. I have nightmares about it and flashbacks daily.
I have spoken to my GP but they just think it’s PND. It’s not, I’m not depressed. I’m confused and I’m angry and disappointed.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? How did you come to terms with your experience? Is there anywhere I can get help?

I feel so overwhelmed.

OP posts:
GlitterSparkle85 · 07/10/2019 21:25

I'm really sorry to hear you went through that I had a very traumatic first birth resulting in EMC so can sympathise with you had the worst midwife who I spoke to to say how i was feeling and her response was well you're both here now so forget it!I had no one to talk to etc took me 4 years to get over when we planned pregnancy number 2 the midwife i had was absolutely wonderful when i spoke to her about the whole experience( blubbing)she apologised for the lack of help and referred me to a "choices"clinic I dont know what they call it in your area but they helped me massively and I couldn't thank my midwife enough for referring me to them.you dont need to be pregnant to see them.They listen to you offer the best help and advice and now I can finally talk about it,I used to lie to nosy people who would ask about the birth that everything is fine just so I wouldn't have to re-live it all again. Please talk to someone ask for aftercare you are not alone and you are NOT a failure.

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