Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Deducting pocket money for bad behaviour

6 replies

PocketMoneyMonster · 07/10/2019 14:53

Is it a reasonable punishment/incentive?

DSC started secondary school this year and as feared we are having some attitude issues...

He doesn't live with us and does push the boundaries when he's at home. Less so with us.

We're thinking of deducting pocket money at a rate of £1 per detention (for now). He gets £5 per week and at the rate we're currently going, wouldn't be surprised if we're at zero by Friday.

Is there any glaringly obvious reason why this is a bad idea? I realize it's probably unsustainable long term but hoping it might provide a light boot up the arse?

At the moment there's an answer for everything and it's always someone else's fault 🙄

OP posts:
mankyfourthtoe · 07/10/2019 15:16

Do it the other way round, where he earns money for jobs and positive behaviour per day

Maybe83 · 07/10/2019 15:19

No it's not sustainable. Once you reach 5 your out of options as you have taken it all. Then the well fuck it anyway I dont have anything to lose kicks in.

I agree about earning it or other things he wants to have or do.

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 07/10/2019 15:26

Perhaps you could do a combination of deducting for bad behaviour and allowing the child to earn it back for good behaviour. That way the "oh well I'm out of money anyway" mentality wouldn't kick in, it would be "well I better do good to earn my money back".

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

GymNovice · 07/10/2019 15:28

Far better to earn it than deduct it. So a week with no trouble gets 5. You could scale it so that if he does 2 weeks with no incident it he gets an extra 5.

Witchend · 07/10/2019 15:34

Dh's family used to work like that.
He remembers deciding (aged about 5 or 6yo) that he hadn't actually been naughty, but his dad was just short of money that week and needed the 2p he'd deducted. Grin

negomi90 · 07/10/2019 15:40

If he doesn't live with you, then it will be undermined by the person he lives with buying him things/giving money.
Plus as others have said, once you get to 0 (which you think you will reach) you've lost everything and there's no incentive to behave. He has nothing to lose.
Have a nice conversation when he isn't in trouble where you reframe pocket money into a thing which can be (relatively easily) earned - this is how much is available per week (eg £5). £1 regardless, £2.50 for behaving in school - 50p off per day he gets a detention, £1 for dishes etc.
Make sure there's something there that he can earn last minute even if he's been awful so that he can do something to get back into a positive note.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page