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Original poster

Help! Where do we stand legal you with grandparent wanting access?

22 replies

Coffeelady99 · 07/10/2019 13:32

Relations between dh and his battleaxe mother have been strained forever. It seems they’ve finally broken down. His mother has form for relishing legal battles and has threatened to go for visitation of dd before and now it appears she decided will. Dd has no interest in seeing her as she is a very odd lady who doesn’t know how to relate to a child and dd moans every time she is coming (was for an hour or so once every few months).

Where do we stand on this?!

OP posts:

Longdistance · 07/10/2019 13:34

Hoe old is dd?
Don’t think she will get access tbh, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/10/2019 13:34

Grandparents have no rights in regards to visitation or access. I wouldn't even worry about it.

Original poster

Coffeelady99 · 07/10/2019 14:30

Dd is 8 and will soon be 9.

OP posts:

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Family law

Majorcollywobble · 07/10/2019 14:35

You have to state the facts that your DD can’t be forever to see her grandmother.
If she insists she isn’t being caring - just wants her rights - and legally she has none. You wouldn’t keep them apart without good reason .

Gustavo1 · 07/10/2019 14:38

Only people with parental responsibility can apply for court granted access.
I’m some circumstances, grandparents can apply to be granted permission to submit an application for access.
It’s very rare that a court would uphold a contact request by a non parent. There would need to be exceptional circumstances, ie having raised the child for a period of time.
Try not to worry. If GM wants contact, she will have to be civil and “earn” it the usual way.

Original poster

Coffeelady99 · 07/10/2019 14:59

Unfortunately she doesn’t know how to be civil, she picks fights with anyone and everyone about everything. Hence why we have never been fond of having her around.

The only reason she isn’t being allowed round every five minutes is because she is a trouble making nightmare!

OP posts:

Gustavo1 · 07/10/2019 15:36

Then, as frightening as it sounds, let her make her threats. There is no reason to think she would be granted anything at all. She can waste time and money trying. If she is rude or threatening in writing, keep it all just in case. I genuinely, do not believe an application from her would get anywhere!

Embracelife · 07/10/2019 15:43

Let her go to court..you and dd would be interviewed for your views.
If for example gp cared for dd every week up to now and did sleepovers regularly she may be able to build a case around that relationship....

Embracelife · 07/10/2019 15:43

Does every five minutes include leaving dd in her care?

Embracelife · 07/10/2019 15:44

Ah one hour every few months is nothing...

Knittedfairies · 07/10/2019 15:45

Call her bluff and let her get on with it; I don't think she's got a leg to stand on.

Original poster

Coffeelady99 · 07/10/2019 15:53

No she has never babysat or anything. Just a short visit once every few months where she generally sits next to dd and bangs on about all the people she has fallen out with. There is no bond between them whatsoever, it’s just another fight for her to try and win.

OP posts:

Chunkers · 07/10/2019 16:08

This could work in your favour, gives you a valid reason to go NC and it will all be her doing.

lovelygreenjumper · 07/10/2019 16:54

I wouldn't worry. My parents took advice once about contact with their grandchildren (not my DC) as they had (very legitimate) safeguarding concerns and the parents were threatening to stop them seeing the children again if they kept 'interfering'. My parents provided a lot of childcare and were afraid that if they did not get to see the children there would be no one to look out for them. Even in those circumstances they were told that it would be incredibly hard to force parents to allow them to see the children, unless it was bad enough that the children were taken in to care and placed with them as grandparents

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 07/10/2019 17:01

She doesn't have a hope Op. Grandparents access is generally only granted where there is a long standing, close relationship with the child and it is in the best interests of the child for that relationship to continue. Your DD is old enough to say she isn't interested in seeing her, and it's pretty clear it isn't in DDs best interests to be forced. Let her threaten all she wants.

Go NC and all take a breath of relief that she isn't around to try and manipulate you anymore.

Rachyb992000 · 09/10/2019 13:43

Just so your aware a grandparent has no legal rights. However a grandparent can go to the courts and ask for what they call a leave. If this is granted they can then go for an access order. The courts now believe its beneficial for a child to know there family.
I fell out with my daughter and she stopped me seeing my grandson, I got my leave and will be going back to court for my access before the end of the year.

Thanks

AllFourOfThem · 09/10/2019 13:47

If a grandparent already has a regular relationship then they might be able to able to argue it’s in the child’s best interests. However, it’s rare the courts have seen it this way and your MIL does not have this kind of relationship with your DD. Let her waste her time attempting to go court. It probably won’t even get as far as a hearing.

Rachyb992000 · 09/10/2019 14:06

My advice is to get evidence. Any texts or letters she may have sent to help your case. The court doesnt listen to hearsay. Caffcas will ring you both if she applies to the court and hear both of your reasonings.
My circumstances are different I had every day interaction and babysat 3 full days a week from birth. I was and am a devoted nan. X

Original poster

Coffeelady99 · 09/10/2019 14:38

Thanks @rachyb992000 we have a ton of emails involving endless emotional blackmail and showing that we didn’t try to prohibit her visiting, just wouldn’t agree to her coming round all the time.

OP posts:

Windydaysuponus · 09/10/2019 14:40

Send her a message stating you will be seeing legal advice to stop her harassing you. Then block her..
Worked for me.

Rachyb992000 · 09/10/2019 15:17

Dont send her any messages. Leave her to do what she wants. You might find she is looking for a reaction. By you messaging her, your giving her one. You will receive a letter from her solicitor if she is serious. She cant go for leave without one.
Keep everything, you have a good case with your evidence. The judge in my case said he was only interested in the welfare of the child. If you stick with that as your grounds for not allowing access you will be fine. If you attack her directly too much they may find that the issue is with the adults not the child. Welfare of the child and any disruptions in the childs life is what there target is.
I hope this helps. I can only tell you from my experience with my solicitor and what the judge said he is looking at.

Thanks
Rachel x

Original poster

Coffeelady99 · 09/10/2019 15:34

We don’t contact her ever as she is such a nightmare, it’s always her emailing my husband. He replies but never instigates contact.

Thank you for your thoughts.

OP posts:

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