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Original poster

Do you sleep in a separate room / bed to OH ?

26 replies

Catscat · 06/10/2019 23:07

It's been 2 years since I slept in the same bed as my husband and I've never been happier . We take it in turns to sleep in the bed , he has the pull out bed downstairs .while I have bed , blah blah .
We have a fantastic sex life .
His snoring and constant moving disturb my sleep so much that when my kids started sleeping through the night I wasn't exhausted enough to sleep through his snoring a fidgeting.

When we buy a property I suggested buying a 4 bed so I could have my own room , he didn't mind that lol . Or if the bedroom is big enough put 2 singles in there , he laughed and said that's what old people do ,I said well I like my sleep and I'm not spending my life miserable .
We are in our late 20's and 30s .
Since I stopped sleeping I. The same bed and room our relationship got better
Anyone feel the same ?

OP posts:

QOD · 06/10/2019 23:09

We slept separately for years and it was bad for ours. But fuck me, now he’s got a wee belly and smoking again grrr I wish we had a spare room 😂

Paddy1234 · 06/10/2019 23:10

Oh did yes! Never slept better
And from what I hear a few of my friends do and would if they had the space

longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter · 06/10/2019 23:12

Ever since I had my first baby, I breastfed, we co sleep and he ended up in the spare room.
I am currently pregnant and can't imagine putting up with his freight train snoring again...

Kanga83 · 06/10/2019 23:13

I keep telling my DH we should sell the king size and get two singles in its place, we could probably fit two small doubles in. He won't have it. He snores, has sleep apnea, a cpap machine, insomnia and restless legs. He is the worst bedroom partner ever. If and when we move we will be getting a 3 and a box room or a proper four bed, failing that a three bed with a conservatory which will be his room.

Cherrysoup · 06/10/2019 23:14

I sleep much better alone, but as the DH works shifts, I’m frequently alone anyway. Sometimes, I creep into the spare room if I’m tossing and turning or he’s snoring, but I sleep later in our room.

Eloisedublin123 · 06/10/2019 23:15

Yep we have separate rooms now for the last 6 months after 10 years listening to his snoring and it ROCKS!!!

iklboo · 06/10/2019 23:17

I don't sleep well if DH isn't in bed. Even given his twitches and sleep talking.

StealthToddler · 06/10/2019 23:19

We did after our youngest was born for 3 years. It was a case of sleep deprivation and do what you need to get through it. When ds4 was 3 he moved to his own room and dh moved back.
I think you do what you need to do to get sleep. Then everyone is happier.

30to50FeralHogs · 06/10/2019 23:21

DP doesn’t live with me but stays several nights per week. He’s a snorer and a fidget - he flips around like a salmon and pulls the duvet off me if we share a bed.

I got rid of my bedside tables and managed to fit 2 small doubles side by side. I also wear ear plugs when he’s here. It makes it tricky if ever we do have to share a bed on holiday etc so we have to find hotels with 2 big beds too. (2 singles are too small for sexy time unless they’re butted right up together, but even then, they get pushed apart )

If ever we buy a house together I will look for separate rooms, but tbh he can sleep anywhere so a decent sofa bed would work, but then we’d have bedding out every day as he wouldn’t tidy it away every morning.

I don’t sleep as well when he’s not here, probably because I don’t wear the earplugs so get woken more easily.

raspberryk · 06/10/2019 23:21

Bedtime together is my favourite time of day, I'd hate to sleep seperately.

30to50FeralHogs · 06/10/2019 23:23

I keep telling my DH we should sell the king size and get two singles in its place, we could probably fit two small doubles in. He won't have it

Fuck that shit! Why does he get to say no when he’s not the one being disturbed by it?!

AlexaShutUp · 06/10/2019 23:24

Separate bedrooms for nearly fifteen years now. We both sleep better. Relationship is fine - way better for the fact that we both get sufficient rest!

Queenest · 06/10/2019 23:28

I don’t but I wish I did. DH flips about, snoring and fidgeting, puffing and blowing, all night long. Night after night. After night.

Silvercatowner · 07/10/2019 03:26

Bedtime together is my favourite time of day, I'd hate to sleep seperately.

We have bedtime together. OH goes to sleep much more quickly than I do so I go to my room when he's asleep.

Bloodybridget · 07/10/2019 03:34

I've never been good at sharing a bed, DP and I have lived together for 17 years and had separate rooms the whole time. I'm always awake for part of the night and would hate not to be able to turn the light on, read and Mumsnet!

minesagin37 · 07/10/2019 04:01

Since we moved here ( 4 bedrooms with only one dd at home now) we have the space to sleep separately and we are both much better rested for it. For a long time he had chronic pain which kept him awake and my out of kilter hormones did the rest!

Fadedbeauty · 07/10/2019 04:01

We do half and half - it just depends how our sleeping is going.

I hate staying in hotels, because there is nowhere to escape to. Sometimes I end up sleeping on the floor (I always take a spare blanket, in case the sleeping does not go well.) He can sleep anywhere and through anything; getting to sleep with disturbances going on is my problem.

Fadedbeauty · 07/10/2019 04:03

... pretty obviously, given the fact that it's 4am, my sleeping is not going well today! I think I'll make another attempt now.

Nonameslob · 07/10/2019 05:59

Separate beds works for us too. Started when husband was on call at night one weekend a month so slept in the spare room so as not to disturb me and we both slept better than ever. Me because he snores loud enough to wake the dead and him because I toss and turn all night due to pain. Just need to get another bedroom for the snoring dog!!

Sunnysidegold · 07/10/2019 07:29

Separate rooms here for about three years. Late thirties (people always assume it's the elderly who sleep separately). Started because oh was sick and up through the night with a. Chronic illness. Things got better and we both casually so as not to offend....mentioned keeping it up even though he was better. He says I snore anyway. Healthy sex life. We go into each others beds to cosy up in the mornings.

NathansMummy0203 · 07/10/2019 09:04

Same here. We both get a Better sleep when we sleep apart. I have become a very light sleeper since having children and my husband is a very heavy snorer, a huffer and puffer and jerks constantly through the night. Previously we would go to sleep in the same bed then when I couldn't take it any more I'd go through to the spare room. As we have just had DS3 and I am breast feeding we are not even going into the same bed now, we just sleep separately and it's working great. I may suggest that it stays this way when I'm not night feeding anymore. I am much less of a moan when I have had a decent sleep, as is he. Doesn't affect our relationship in anyway, as a PP said, we go into each other's for a cuddle in the mornings.

SoundofSilence · 07/10/2019 09:09

I would if I could. DP snores and likes to snuggle, which leads to him snoring straight into my ear while I try to extricate myself. I'm in menopause and feel hot all the time, so I dread him coming up to bed. If my youngest child climbs in too, I get out and go into his bed.

Marinetta · 07/10/2019 09:14

Not only do we have seperate beds, we have seperate houses. My partner is an awful snorer and spends most of the night rolling from side to side so I barely get any sleep. We also have different sleeping patterns with me being an early to bed early to rise type and him the total opposite. We found that we disturbed each other not only when we were both in the bed but also when one was trying to sleep while the other was pottering around the house. Living seperately was one of the best things we have ever done for our relationship. We're both well rested and less irritable and can't blame each other for a bad night's sleep.

Rubyduby26 · 07/10/2019 09:22

We sleep apart more often than we sleep together, our DS is 18 months old and has been bed sharing with me since around 11 months.

I do try and get him in his bed that is next to ours but he always wakes up to get in bed with me so it's easier for DP to sleep in the spare room and me to have DS in our bed.

We are just riding it out until DS decides to sleep in his own bed, he's not going to want to sleep with me forever (hopefully) 😂

Fizzypoo · 07/10/2019 09:30

I wish.

I'm so jealous of all the separate sleepers on this thread.

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