Ethical dilemma re Charity shop purchase

[Finfintytint]

My mother loved a charity shop bargain and would collect all sorts of bits and bobs but was quite savvy about what she bought. She is recently deceased and I’ve found a lovely ceramic vase that will easily fetch a few hundred pounds at auction according to current valuations.
I teased her in the last few years that I would return the item back to the charity shop so the charity would benefit from her crafty buy. She bought it for 3 quid.
The dilemma is my brother and sister want to cash in on potential profit of £200 each whereas I want to return the cash to the charity. We’ve all benefited substantially from mum’s estate and think this is a bit grabby.
Aside though, we’ve contributed to running mum’s property until it sells ( electric bills, etc) so this small amount would help keep her house ticking over. Who is BU?

The obvious solution is to sell it, and you donate your third to the charity.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

IMHO let hem sell it and give your percentage back to the charity shop in tribute to your mum.

PS selling old things which have a value is not always easy, we tried it with some old stuff! Supposedly worth a bit but no one wanted it!

Agree with super. I wouldn't for a big national but would auction it for a local one.
If siblings don't agree you could always auction it and then donate your share. Or whatever is left after the bills are paid

Legally, I can't imagine you have any say in what they do, and it is rude to put any pressure on them.

You clearly feel the charity should benefit, so just donate the money from you share.

How's that not obvious?

I actually think it's incredibly grabby to try to push your siblings into donating their inheritance to a cause of your choice.

Yes. Agree I must but be incredibly grabby . Apologise. Just trying o do the right thing.

Big charities are just big business now anyway, by middle class men, for middle class men

Rather simplistic IfIShouldFallfromGracewithGod. Have you got evidence?

Sorry for your loss.

What would your DM want you to do?

If you hand it into charity shop it may be purloined by a staff member and sold for their own gain. Why do you think people work there?

The estate is responsible for bills. Best used for bills unless there is plenty of cash for bills.

Depressing how desperate to slag off charities and charity workers a lot of people on this thread are, and depressing also how inaccurate most of the negative claims are.

Anyway. If the estate is split between the three of you then I'm afraid you cannot reasonably make the decision to give away any of that estate for free without your siblings' permission. There is no 'ethical dilemma' here - legally, however 'grabby' you think your siblings are you can't just decide they're not getting a couple of hundred quid which they are entitled to, if they don't agree with your suggestion.

Sell the item, and if you want to donate your portion of the proceeds to a charity that's absolutely fine, but you can't make them donate theirs if they don't want to. I'm really sorry you've lost your mum - it must be very hard

If you hand it into charity shop it may be purloined by a staff member and sold for their own gain. Why do you think people work there

How very rude.

Let's clear up a few points.

Most people don't "work" in charity shops. They volunteer.

They VOLUNTEER for a whole host of reasons. Theft is generally not one of them.

Decent charities have processes and procedures to make sure all staff purposes are above board.

Everyone volunteering with me in our chain has to sign a disclaimer stating we're not an Ebay trader.

Whistleblowing signs everywhere in the backshop urging us to call a confidential hotline if we see theft, fraud or shoplifting by volunteers or the one paid manager.

OP, I think the consensus of selling it and donating your third is the right one. Well done to your mum for spotting a bargain. However it might be worth speaking to the charity concerned about how they deal with higher priced items. We have an arrangement with the local auction house which takes our most valuable finds and waives the sellers' fee for us in the auction. But please don't think a volunteer will just pocket it. Must be shite going through life with such a bitter and twisted view of your fellow humans.

I can see how, having had an ongoing joke with your mum about returning the vase it seems like a way to honour her memory. An act you can take that has meaning rather than just selling things off and splitting the proceeds. But your siblings don't have the same feelings about it and won't get the same sense of satisfaction at in completing the circle. they may never have had the joke with your mum or may not have seen it in the same light you did, or it just wasnt' as meaningful for them. From the charity's perspective, they will probably do better with a donation of cash than getting the vase back.

So if you really want to do it, you should probably see it as being just from you - ask your siblings if you can take the vase in lieu of the appropriate amount from the proceeds and then donate the vase back to a charity. But it's a symbolic act and not one your mum expected from you. Don't feel obliged, do it if it is worth it to you.

I agree with your siblings

Sorry for your loss

If I buy something from a charity shop, I consider it mine. I don't consider that the charity retains an interest in it. Hence when the time comes to dispose of the item, I will sell it to the highest bidder unless I want to pass it on to someone.

'Grabby; my arse. Your mum bought it for the asking price, and it may well be worth rather less than you think. Or, at least, what it's 'on sale' for is likely to be a lot less than what anyone will give you for it. Make a donation to charity in your mum's name if you want to, but don't virtue-signal at your siblings.