Does anyone else feel like they never get to sit down in the evening?

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Minor moan but also wonder if I am not adulting right!

After we get the DC in bed, around 7.30, apart from actually eating dinner we don't really sit down. The kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it so I sort that whilst DH makes dinner. Then there is laundry to do, ironing school uniform, packing bags for tomorrow, batch cooking, picking up the explosion of Duplo that is the living room, admin tasks, etc.... I finish and it's 11pm and time for bed as I know I'll be up at 5.30.

We even have a cleaner but somehow there is still so much to do!

Is everyone like this or are we just somehow missing some top tip for life????

Most evenings we sit down and watch a bit of TV and have a chat by about 8pm. The DC's are a bit older now but it's always been like this. We get everything done as early as possible so we have time to haveba bit of time to do what we like.

Why are you batch cooking in the evening? Just cook more of what you were cooking anyway.

Don’t iron.

Get an Ikea washing basket for everyone in your house’s clean washing to live (while it is not being put away).

Have a box of school/club/nursery stuff by the front door, including water bottles and shoes.

Don’t bother putting away toys, because they are just going to come out again.

I actually came on to say that no, I don’t get to sit down in the evening but that’s because my children don’t go to sleep very early/easily/at all so the idea of being able to spend time packing bags and ironing uniform is quite alien to me! For us it’s clean the kitchen (DH), read to the children (me) and developing systems so what you need is always roughly where you need it to be in the morning.

I would just develop lower standards and enjoy your evening!

What on Earth goes in to three loads of washing in one day?! Three full loads?
(I’m Childfree and only need to work two days a week, and 1 load of washing a week for my family is a stretch, so 100% do not relate to any of this, it sounds awful!)

I have chucked caked on oats in the washing machine. That's what it's for! I do have stain remover but I just spray if I can be arsed. I would also not necessarily wash muddy things straight away. They can be left somewhere to air out so they don't get mouldy until they get washed.

Agree strange to be batch cooking in the evenings.

In answer to some Qs, we have different meals because our twins (19 mos) eat relatively healthily but reception age DD is a MEGA fussy eater. I don't want the toddlers limited to what DD1 will eat but she point blank refuses the healthy stews, hidden veg pasta sauce etc that I make for them.

Today we
Got back from woods 4.45pm
Cooked dinner 5-530ish
Kids ate, as before I did their beds and wiped their shoes from the stream
6.15 everyone upstairs
Twins in bed by 6.45, me putting away clean laundry, DH doing DD1 bedtime
Back down at 7.15, me cleaning insanely messy kitchen inc toddler high chairs splattered with food and two loads laundry whilst DH made risotto
Eat 8.30ish
9pm ironing, 3rd load laundry, sort school bag and my work bag, polish my shoes as they look awful, make lunch for tomorrow and sort various bits
10.30 stop....!

I have to iron for work and just do DD uniforms too.

We are a family of four and I try to do a wash load every day, but I can skip a day once or twice a week. I use that day to put the last 2-4 loads away. I tend to do the washing as DH does the dishwasher which is also an everyday task.

I never seem to get time to myself, and I wouldn't say I'm overly fussy.

Its a struggle just keeping afloat; no idea what I'm doing that I needn't or not doing that I should.

I just know I'm constantly
knackered.

Can twins not eat what you eat though? Sounds exhausting to cook 3 different things every day. Though I know easy to get into bad habits. DS1 is also a nightmare with food.

I batch cook x 2 evenings a week to make toddler food, to be clear, eg soup or stew or pasta sauce that can then be reheated. It gets portioned up and put in the freezer so when one of us is at home with toddler twins we have something quick and healthy to feed them.

I definitely don't keep up with everything I "should". I prioritise rest and relaxation time. The house is frequently a tip. I luckily don't work in an area I need to be especially "groomed".

Bertie hopefully when they are older but our meals tend to be more grown up. DH is a massive food snob and I guess meals feel like the one part of our lives that hasn't been taken over by DC! It the last week we have had broad bean risotto, stir fried cauliflower with ginger and sesame, hot sweet potato curry, giant cous cous with artichoke and mushroom.....dh is an amazing cook but I don't think most toddlers would eat that stuff.

I tend to do stuff for them like pork and apple stew with the meat blended so they can manage... it is tasty but a bit "nursery" iyswim.

What I generally do for my 1yo is that when I'm making a meal for DH and I, I take out two small portions for DS2, and put one in the fridge, one in the freezer. That way we have plenty of stuff to reheat for him, as he eats early.

On the occasion DS1 has something DS2 also likes, sometimes I feed them together. Or we feed DS2 the occasional hipp toddler meal etc, or I make a "picky tea" which is chopped up veg, crackers, cheese, hard boiled eggs, cooked meat etc, takes about 2 minutes. We try not to cook more than 2 different things per night and I also tend to keep weeknight meals as quick things. But long term I'm trying to work on DS1 accepting more foods because at the moment it's often impractical.

I think they would probably eat it! But my DH is the one with nursery tastes so I don't know :o

I sit down at 9. Dh and I watch a show together sometimes. Usually just sit for a bit then go to bed. So yes, Dh and I are both doing ‘stuff’ actively from 7am to 9pm. Three kids: 9,7 and 3.

BertieBotts I love picky teas! We try to do this once a week at least. Just olives, cubes of cheese, carrot sticks, pita bread, salmon, cucumber stuff like that from the fridge that can be thrown on a plate. The kids love it.

I completely understand as I have just got into bed after spending all evening doing things and this is quite early for me.

Once the little DC were in bed I helped DC1 with homework, made dinner for DH and I, ate dinner, up and down the stairs a few time with DC1 until he slept.

Made 6 packed lunches (usually only 3) tidied kitchen, put away clothes, hung up load of washing to dry, wrote notes for school teachers and cleaned bathroom (halfheartedly!)

It's exhausting.

With you until 715 after which you just needed to clean the kitchen, do some laundry, eat and pack for next day. Equivalent in our house is a ten min kitchen wipe down then the other making a simple grownup tea. If I have washes to do I'll potter back and forth washing machine in between catching up on tv. Anything that comes out of machine either gets shoved aside for another day when I have time or mindlessly sorted in front of tv. Ironing - ha! No way am I prioritising that over a good rest. Packing for next day in the 10mins or so before bedtime. You just need to lower your standards

No I don't ever find myself in that position because I make a point of not doing jobs in the evening. If it's not done, it's not done. I enjoy my evenings and want some relaxing time for myself.

No kids to worry about so that takes a lot of the pressure off. I’m only responsible for cooking for myself! Once that’s done I get in my PJs and watch Netflix for the evening. May have a hot bath. Although DH and I go out to dinner or the movies several times a week. We never do any chores at home as we have hired someone to take this on for us.

I couldn’t cope with a high-pressure routine involving children!

You come across as a perfectionist OP. It’s not a criticism, it’s just probably the reason you spend three hours of your evening doing things you could spend less time on and still get by (and get to sit down).

Sock the minute we got in I made dinner, wiped their shoes and stuffed them with newspaper to dry,

^

What? Have I wandered into the 1930's?

Talk about t making a rod etc etc

I'm sorry but you cannot moan about your lack of an evening and then insist that it's fine to cook 3 separate meals per night. I'm not surprised the kitchen's a mess

You are basically spending your evenings om the "hobby" of cooking which means time spent preparing food and cleaning the kirchen.

You could just of easily made a simple risotto/coucous to eat with the children. We sometimes adapt/leave out some bits for the kids, or stir fry vef plain for one if them, then ours etc.

The fact you're choosing to put all the effort into a meal that takes time, space to prepare and clear up is where your evening is going! Which is fine as a choice but seems silly to complain about it.

I agree with op’s.
Can you not all eat at 5.30-6pm?soon as you were in from woods, dh starts tea, whilst kids play and you wipe shoes put wash on.
All sit down to eat and by 6-6.30pm you’ve done meal time.
I think you could have shaved an hr off of all that time with meal planning- as op said there’s a big emphasis on food from you here, that’s where your time is going.By the time your kids get to school age and they have uniforms , homework etc you will be bunging a Heinz vegetable soup in microwave

It does sound like you are making work for yourself OP. We all have evenings like you describe on occasion, but every night?

I have a friend who is up til midnight ironing etc, then moans about all the ironing she has to do. Yet she still irons pyjamas and tea towels. She makes work for herself and it sounds like you could most definitely find a way of making your evenings easier.