If your DH is ill, how long do you expect them to stay in bed?

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DH has been full of cold for over a week, then started with a temp & chesty cough on Friday.

He gets up with us everyday but by 3 he has gone to bed because he feels so unwell, no point saying anything because I will just get back chat or "come to bed with me and let DC play in their room" 🙄

Heavily pregnant, exhausted and all I want to do is go to sleep!! I think ill crack if he does this when baby is here!

So what does your DH/DP do if feeling really unwell? Just to add he's been throwing the lemsip back like there is no tomorrow and it doesn't help !

Until he’s better?
Honestly, he should be staying in bed and not getting up everyday. It’s because he’s pushing himself that he is getting worse instead of better. The cold has gone to his chest & he has a temperature now. I’d get him to a doctor tomorrow if he doesn’t improve. He needs at least a full day in bed.
He can’t help being sick, it’s not a choice so not sure why you are acting like he’s doing this on purpose.

@DoctorAllcome I took him to the doctor on Friday as he had the temp through the night, Dr was useless and wouldn't even listen to his chest, also told him he didn't need to get a flu jab even though he nearly died from flu in January 🙄 so think we need to switch Dr's!

I wouldn't mind but I tell him to stay in bed in the morning and be gets up! Id rather him get up at 3 and help me out when I'm exhausted 😂

Honestly unless one of us was nearly dying, we might sleep a little longer in the morning or take a nap in the afternoon, but we would rarely spend a full day in bed. I’ve been very ill in the past with pneumonia (like in hospital for several days on oxygen). Then I did spend full days in bed! But for a normal cold or chest infection, we would either have a lie in or take a nap. No full days in bed here. I can’t even remember the last time dh took a day off work sick to be honest. If he is truly ill though, it sounds like he might need a day or so to rest and then hopefully back on his feet. If he’s that ill after a week, he needs to see a doctor (and I’d expect him to sort it himself, my dh certainly has never taken me to the doctor, except for when I needed help with childcare or I was going for an operation).

Presumably he’s unwell enough to be off work so should be in bed so that he rests and gets well quicker.

Of course he will be unwell once the new child comes, it’s not like he is doing it on purpose. Most people get colds etc each year.

We I think an hour for an afternoon nap is fine if you have had a rough night and are feeling crap. More than that is just checking out of parenting.

Tbh if he nearly died from flu in January I’d want him resting as much as possible to avoid him taking so bad again. Flu has an impact on your body and isn’t just gone after a few weeks. He could have lowered immunity and be more susceptible now.

Nor would I want anyone coughing and spluttering and looking like death, covering the sofa in snotty tissues etc. I’d far rather he went to bed and suffered in silence where I couldn’t hear it and could just get on with looking after DC.

If I feel like shit I go back to bed so I don't get my knickers in a twist if DH does the same. Tbh I prefer him out the way because otherwise out comes the dressing gown of doom, he adopts the sickman shuffle and needs to sniff and moan with every step.

If your GP won't give a flu jab, book in at Boots. I had mine yesterday, it cost £12.99 but it's worth it imo.

I’d expect him to be in bed until he was better - not kicking his height but able to go about his day more or less and he does the same for me. Neither of us take the piss bit if we need to rest we rest and we cover each other.

Exactly as a pp, rest up in bed while you need to, come back and rejoin family life when you’re able to.
Standard guide to living here really.
If you’re ill, you’re ill.
I had Friday and Monday off work a couple of weeks ago (unheard of for me to call in sick but caught a vomiting bug) and I basically stayed in bed for the entire 4 days.
Dp checked in on me when he was home, the dc would pop in and say hello, ask if I wanted anything etc, and other than that I was left in peace to sleep and recover. Went back to work on Tuesday and for the next couple of days I came home and laid on the sofa - he picked up all the extra slack from me doing nothing. No drama.
I did the same for him at the start of the year when he had shingles.
If he nearly died from flu, I’d imagine he really does need to rest and not push himself too hard. It’s horrible being poorly when you’re not usually and you do try and make an effort to get up and do stuff so you’re not lying there dwelling on how shitty you feel but he needs to just recover.
It does put extra pressure on you but in relationships it should be about give and take.

If I have a very bad cold I stay in bed for a day, which normally breaks the back of it for me. Then I just make sure I have a good sleep each night and take medicine regularly.

Flu, more like 2 days. I had flu recently and dived straight into bed with the shivers after coming home, then shivered or slept in a foetal position for about 16 hours. Then I just rested or slept for another day or so.

I firmly believe you only shift these kinds of things quickly if you take a day or so out to rest. If you can’t or won’t, the bad, snotty stage seems to linger on for ages.

If he nearly died from flu in January I'd say that his immune system isn't as robust as others so perhaps he doesn't get over illnesses as quickly as some people do.

I would trust DH to balance his need for sleep with our need for his support, just as he would trust me to do the same.

I hope he’s back on his feet soon and that none of the rest of you catch it.

There's a nasty virus/cold going around. It took me out for a week, on the sofa zoned out for most of it. Last week I was back in work, but still struggling and no where near my usual self, getting home and collapsing on the sofa.
2 full weeks in and yesterday I did a walk I normally do without thinking and it nearly broke me.
He stays in bed as long as it takes him to get well.
You can't just decide that you've been in bed long enough and its time to be well. Illness doesn't work like that (unfortunately).

Honestly I’d be surprised and a bit annoyed if my very active DH spent any longer than a morning in bed. I’d be passively aggressively asking him when he was getting up.
He’s the least lazy person I know and is never sick.

As an adult, I'd expect my DH to be able to judge when he needs to go to bed when sick. It sounds like your DH has been really hammered by this and it might be that he needs more time if he was so sick early in the year.

Has he been off work for over a week? did the GP sign him off? I'd go back and get his chest listened to.

Re your question I bloody wish dh would go to bed - he insists on staying in the living room spreading germs and moaning.

It sounds like you should get some sleep in the morning while he deals with the kids, then you can take over when he's knackered and needs to go to bed early.

When DH gets a chest infection with temperature he ends up delirious and needing antibiotics, so I'd rather he got the rest he needs.

We both get the flu shot anywhere we can, as soon as we can.

I would expect him to spend as much time as I get in bed when I have a cold ie zero hours

Heavily pregnant is also in need of rest in my book, can't you take turns?

Only on MN are men not allowed to be ill, not allowed to judge the severity of their own illness and not allowed to make their own adult decisions.

Thanks for all the replies! I didn't even realise the fact he had flu would of effected his immune system, when I say he nearly died he blacked out for over 15 mins and was unresponsive hit his head on the way down and was quarantined in the hospital, he had the worst strain there is! , thank god I wasn't pregnant then because dragging him on to the floor was hard work!

Will let him rest as much as he needs to 🙂