Saying Goodbye

[SleepyFlump]

I've got a friend who doesn't come to the door to say goodbye when I leave the house. I thought it was just a weird thing she does (or doesn't) do. But in the last couple of weeks, I've encountered two more friends (don't know each other), do the same.

All the usual leaving noises and gestures are made, saying it's time I left, gathering bags, phone, get shoes on etc. and they say goodbye while staying in the kitchen, sitting room while I make my way to the front door and close it behind me!

This sounds pathetic, saying it out loud, and obviously I'm totally capable, but it's not normal is it? Isn't it good manners to see people out? Even if it's born from a place where they're comfortable and it's an easy friendship with no formalities, isn't it rude? What do you do?

I live upstairs. I'm not going downstairs every time someone leaves. Unless it's someone I don't know/ like, I like to make sure they're out the door.

Take it as a compliment.

I always feel like I don't know whether to go to the door (feels a bit formal) or just stay where I am in the house ( a tad rude?).
Watching with interest.
I want family and close friends to feel 'at home' at my house but it all feels a bit awkward.

I tend to take people to the door to see them out, I see it as good manners. However my mum never does with anyone!
If I’m busy cooking or something I ask one of the dc to ‘see them out’!

I would find that very strange. I always see people to the door and likewise people do the same to me. I don't think I've ever experienced not being seen to the door.

I would take that as an indication that you’ve outstayed your welcome and they have had to stop entertaining you and start getting in with things as a hint to get you to leave.

I live in an upstairs flat and I always go downstairs to say goodbye. I feel so uncomfortable otherwise. Even family say don't come down it's fine and I'm like nope... I have to or it's weird

I have always seen people to the door.
Brought up to do just that.
I dont know anyone who doesnt see people out.

When I lived in an upstairs flat I would always see people to my flat door but wouldn’t go downstairs with them to the communal door (unless they ordered a taxi as I wouldn’t want them waiting by themselves).

Now I live in a house I always see people out and go to the front door with them (my front door is constantly locked though and it feels weird for them to unlock it themselves - maybe I’m odd though )

We always see people to the front door or out to their car. We're teaching the DC too as well - they must walk their friends to the door and thank them for coming. It would feel so rude not too!

I have a friend who does this - I find it weird & almost rude

I would usually see people out of the front door.

Except one friend who then tries to engage in further conversation and her DC run back inside and she then tries to make her way in again.

I start my jobs (usually dinner!) after warning her an hour before I'm doing it at that time, and busy myself and stand at the end of the hallway still busting myself and saying goodbye.

I find it absolutely incredible that you’ve even noticed tbh.

I always walk people to the door and usual will wait for them to drive away etc before shutting the door. It’s good manners. Only time I would shut the door before they have driven off is if I don’t want the cat to escape, in which case I would say I’m closing the door so the cat doesn’t get out.
Really rude not to go to the door, unless you’re ill or incapacitated in some way.

Same as Whatafackinliberty

Of course people should see their guests out, it's really bad manners not to!

To the poster who lives upstairs, surely you go to your own door if not downstairs?

I'm not including people with movement difficulties, bf mums etc in these expectations but where are people's manners fgs?

I see my adult dc to the door! Kiss /hug and a last wave are important imo!!
Maybe not to them!!!

I would always see someone to the door and know what you mean about feeling awkward when someone doesn't see you to the door. It must have happened to me before but I can't recall when now. The usual thing in my family is to wave off their car, even going to the end of the drive and waving them along the road (we don't live near each other). Occasionally i might not do this if I had some valid reason not to, and when MIL outstays her welcome, I don't leave the house, just see her to the door, but I am conscious I am being rude not waving her off. It is inconceivable that I would not see someone to the door as a barest minimum.

I would always walk someone to the door. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t. As for flats I would walk them to the flat door but not to the external door.

I just can’t imagine a friend getting up and getting her stuff together while I stay say on the sofa.

What an over-reaction. Not everyone wants to be so formal. I tend to walk people out because I know how to open the door and they might not, but I don't think it's a big deal at all.

My elderly infirm DF insists on walking guests (incl me) down the garden and out the gate and to the car. In all weathers to. It’s something he’s always done and as a result I do too. Although my modern house I can wave them out of the street from my front door!

SIL has a house where you park at their back door and the main road passes their front garden. We would be waved off from the back and they’d run through the house into the front garden and wave again as we pass in the car.

It's actually my better friends who don't 'see me out', I think we're close enough to not need to bother. To me it's a sign of a good relationship rather than rudeness.

Thank you! I definitley don't out stay my welcome, although I see what you mean. If they were busy cracking on with jobs and were making a point of now being too busy to see me out, I'd understand, but that isn't what's happening.

One pp suggested I take it as a compliment. It's like she feels so at ease she doesn't need to be too formal, which it might be in her opinion. But ultimately, and it appears the majority agree with me - it's rude not to see your guests out.

I see what you mean about good friends not needing to be seen to the door, but I wouldn't forget my manners for good friends especially.

Everyone's different and I'm not over reacting. I'm not bothered. It's just weird. And in my opinion, a bit rude.

I get the butler to do it.