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Original poster

Medical termination, talk me through it please

44 replies

Confusion77 · 06/10/2019 10:12

I have posted in pregnancy choices but it's understandable a very quiet board. I'm alone in this so can't talk to anyone in real life.

I am due to have a medical termination on the 18th. I'll be just under 9 weeks I think.

I am 100%sure that I need to go through with this, my only concern is the termination itself if that makes sense. I read on another thread that I might recognise the shape of the foetus as it passes? It's that true at this early stage? Also, I'm sorry for asking this, but I have no idea what to expect in terms of pain and blood loss

And timing after the second set of tablets. I will have one day alone withoit the children, so am hoping i can have it happen then (this is 2 days after the initial appointment) No one knows I am doing this and I'm keen for that to continue.

I'm really struggling with tiredness and nausea too which is awful in the circumstances.

OP posts:

inwood · 07/10/2019 16:13

I had a surgical without GA. in a shitty situation it was the best result for me. I was only 17 at the time. I wouldn't opt for medical if at all possible.

Original poster

Confusion77 · 07/10/2019 18:31

I just wanted to say thank you for all of your comments, and the total lack of judgement.

@VeganVeganVegan I did try to pm but your settings don't allow.

I'm really worried about the process itself, being on my own, something going wrong. I've thought about seeing if I could switch to surgical but worried about waiting times, and I am suffering a lot with sickness and tiredness.

OP posts:

VeganVeganVegan · 07/10/2019 18:57

I will sort out my settings @Confusion77

Original poster

Confusion77 · 07/10/2019 19:47

Thank you. I have no one at all to talk to

OP posts:

Littlebean13 · 07/10/2019 22:36

Hi op,
I had a medical termination earlier this year at 6weeks. From booking the appointment to the actually appointment date was exactly 2 weeks and I remember spending every single day of those 2 weeks frantically googling stories about what I had to come and I was terrified of the pain.
I went out and bought a hot water bottle and stocked up on painkillers (the clinic also gave me prescription cocodomol) and sanitary pads. I even booked a couple of days off work to recover incase the pain was so severe.
Luckily I could do both tablets at the same time and as soon as I had used them I was free to go home. The journey home was around 45mins and by the time I got home the bleeding had started heavy straight away which shocked me as I thought I would be waiting for a few hours.
Pain wise, I started to feel period like pains around another an hour later and I took some painkillers straight away which took the pain off and in all honesty I didn't feel another ounce of pain at all for the whole process. I had really scared myself stiff about that pain but there basically wasn't any.
I did bleed very heavily and passed a few clots but I never saw anything that I could 'recognise' and in all honestly I didn't look.
I think in total I bled for almost two weeks. It was heavy bleeding for the first maybe 5 days and then it started it get lighter as the days went on.
Please feel free to PM me if you want to discuss anything at all

Clitoria · 07/10/2019 23:01

{hugs} to you, OP, abortions are illegal in my part of the UK, so I have known of many women here who have to travel to England etc... I would plan for the bad aspects, like, expect a lot of cramping and blood loss and get an extension lead into your bathroom, some blankets in there, a basin by your bed in case you need to vomit at some point, and try to arrange for the kids to be minded for most of the day and night ideally. Ask what you should pay attention for, in case you need to go to hospital, like if you are bleeding heavily for ages. Get some bland food like toast, crackers, cup a soups and isotonic juice in.

Clitoria · 07/10/2019 23:02

(Extension lead for charging phone/laptop, in case your tummy is upset and you’d rather be near the toilet)

Clitoria · 07/10/2019 23:04

(Sorry, I meant plan for it being unpleasant as in, be prepared in case it is, so be prepared to be gentle with yourself and not be driving about or cooking etc.)

Original poster

Confusion77 · 08/10/2019 08:01

Thank you @Clitoria your posts are reassuring. I suppose the chances are that it will be ok. Fingers crossed. The waiting is awful as I feel so sick and tired.

OP posts:

EmAreSea · 08/10/2019 10:46

I had a medical at 7+4... oral and internal tablets all done on the same day, they gave me some codeine to take but suggested starting with paracetamol/ibuprofen and working my way up. I started bleeding about an hour after taking/inserting tablets. It was painful but not horrendous pain, manageable with paracetamol/ibuprofen/codeine if you time it right. I was on the loo when the embryo came out so I just flushed and didn’t look. The pain went pretty much straight away after that.
You will continue to bleed for a couple of weeks and should use sanitary towels as tampons can lead to an infection. You should get your period after about 6 weeks.

Sugarplumfairyfartface · 08/10/2019 23:15

Everyone's experience is so different from another persons you really cannot tell how you are going to be. You cannot be on your own though there needs to be someone with you and if you can try and get kids looked after overnight that is better. After 2nd pills are inserted vaginally it took about an hour then small amount of blood then horrendous intense pain like labour contractions was sick at same time then felt something pass went to loo just a lot of blood and tissue but nothing scary took painkillers beforehand but did nothing lots of heavy bleeding large clots pain eased after a few hours but still in pain passing clots and blood for a few days after couldn't go back to work like some people do straight away needed about 5 days recovery. Please try and get someone to be with you. Hope all goes well

Original poster

Confusion77 · 11/10/2019 11:30

I've come back because I am just amazed at how difficult, logistically, this is. I live close to a town but 50 miles to the nearest city. I was offered an appointment at a different clinic, 1hrs drive away, at 9.30am which I couldn't get to as I have to drop children off.

I phoned the clinic yesterday to ask how long to allow for the appointment and was told 4 - 6 hours. My appointment is at 1.15. The first appointment of the day as the clinic in the town is only open Friday afternoons. I have children to collect from school and pre school.

I genuinely thought that the process would be easier through bpas or Marie stopes. It's really not. Unless you live in a city then maybe it is. I work and I have small children, very limited childcare options. The organisation of the whole thing is proving really stressful.

I've had to lie to people so they will collect the DC for me. Opening myself up to get more harassment from their father.

OP posts:

Original poster

Confusion77 · 11/10/2019 11:31

@Sugarplumfairyfartface thank you for your reply. Were you alone? Was it manageable if so?

OP posts:

Dislocatedeyeballs · 12/10/2019 10:17

Confusion.. Sorry don't know how to reply directly and name changed too. No not alone but I guess I could have managed and coped as long as nothing went wrong. Maybe the surgical option is a better choice for you? Maybe u could say it was something else to get children looked after for the day? I hope u get it sorted. I thought I would be really upset about it for ages after worried about regretting it but I have no regrets which shocked and surprised me I'm sure you will be fine I'd y can just sort out the childcare situation good luck thinking of you x

Original poster

Confusion77 · 12/10/2019 21:17

There's no one to be with me. The only person I could ask is stbx and he doesn't know.

OP posts:

Starlive23 · 12/10/2019 21:28

Was going to reply my own story but honestly @veganveganvegan has put it so succinctly I don't think I could have put it any better. I found it really painful but only for a short time.

Good luck OP (probably not the right wording) I hope it goes as smoothly as it can.

I do agree with a pp about surgical procedure if that's possible.

triceratopswouldlikehats · 12/10/2019 23:49

op, I hope it all goes as well as it can for you.

I didn't have a medical but did have a miscarriage, it was excruciating and I had to go into the hospital for treatment because the blood loss was too much. I'm not saying that to scare you but it may help to be prepared. Have some essentials packed in your handbag, charger, money, change of clothes etc in case you need to get into hospital quickly and have treatment or pain relief. Make sure you have decent prescription pain relief for home.

Don't stress yourself over white lies and excuses for relatives/your stbx for help with childcare. No one has access to your medical records, you can tell them you needed hospital treatment, but have a reason at the ready so you're not put on the spot if there are any issues and you need to stay. It can be anything but might help to have an excuse at the ready.

I'm so sorry you have no choice but to lie about the reasons why, to those around you and don't have any real life support. Please keep posting for support

Dislocatedeyeballs · 13/10/2019 10:12

If u tell clinic there is noone to help I am sure they would make allowances and maybe you could stay there whilst it happens? At least then you wouldn't be alone wouldn't hurt to ask good luck it will all just be a bad memory soon xxx

BlindAssassin1 · 13/10/2019 10:38

I had a medical at about 5-6ish weeks. Physically it was less painful than I was expecting, not like my period pain, more like the early contractions for labour but I took all the pain killers I was given (cocodomol I think) and drifted in and out of painless sleep for the rest of the day and night. Everything passed in the morning, which was painless.

I told about a thousand white lies to various people and no one would ever question me about it, I think some people knew but wouldn't say anything.

I did suffer some back ache afterwards - I tried to pretend that everything would go back to normal asap and overdid it at work and exercise. I wish I'd been a bit kinder to myself tbh.

As I said physically it was fine, emotionally it was harder because I still got a huge rush of post-pregnancy hormones.

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