Hesitant to buy a house with someone else as won't have freedom to decorate how I want

[JaffaJane]

Hesitant to buy a house with someone else as won't have freedom to decorate how I want.

Hypothetical situation but I feel like buying a house with a partner would be off putting as they'd have equal rights on decoration, furnishings, etc. so if we had very different opinions on it all, it'd be a constant battle and would feel like being a tenant all over again.

Is that a total non-issue to you or something that would annoy you a bit?

If you wouldn't be able to come to a compromise acceptable to both, it wouldn't be much of a relationship and buying a house together would be the least of your worries.

Dh and I have similar tastes, so usually agree after a bit of discussion. We did have an argument once in a kitchen showroom (nothing embarrassing and loud though). I gave in to his suggestion and I admit it is much better than what I had in mind, I've even told him, so he knows I think he was right!!!

"constant battling" isn't the only way for people with differing opinions to reach a consensus.

But yeah, if you want to share your life with someone and have them share their life with you, you do need to respect their thoughts and feelings and occasionally make sacrifices and be ok with having done so, because they'll be doing the same for you, but it's worth it because getting to make a life with them is a joy and a privilege and just so much more than getting free rein on the choice of light fitting.

Dh knows how much I enjoy decorating, looking on Pinterest etc, he let me take the lead for most of the house apart from his office and the ensuite which is his bathroom. For everything else I'd whittle it down to a couple of colours/ideas then we would choose together out of those options.

I think this is the least important issue when it comes to compromise and cohabitation. And I love home decor.

A lot of people don’t care about decorating etc - you need to find one of those and then you can do what you like!

Dh doesn’t care at all. I can do whatever I like. In some ways it’s a bit annoying because he doesn’t ever say “wow that looks nice” and wouldn’t notice if I painted a wall or wallpapered unless I pointed it out to him...! But it’s nice to have total freedom.

Non issue here because dp (somehow) has incredible taste. There have been a few "lets use this colour" and ive been like ergh no! And hes done it anyway and ive loved it so i tend to trust his decisions now! He trusts mine too so everyones happy.

I get where you're coming from OP. I'm moving house and after 15 years or renting and 'making do', this new house is being decorated how I want it to be done. My home is important to me and I want to feel comfortable in it.

But then I do have my own issues. I'm a bit odd about my house after growing up with my hoarder mother. I now cannot stand mess or clutter. I'm also starting to realise that I've done far too much 'cooperating' in my relationship. Read that as rolling over. Now I'm standing up for what I want, but in all honesty I think time will be the decider on whether or not it works out.

But at least my house will look nice and I will be comfortable in it.

I’m lucky as we have similar tastes and he’s happy to let me have the final say
I wanted demon drift in our lounge (the cream was killing me) so showed him
He wasn’t keen but I said ‘let me paint it and I’ll put it right again if you don’t like it’
He agreed so I painted it
He loved it-but I hated it!
It grew on me and now we both love it
I also chose our sofas,beds,soft furnishings,book cases,Welsh dresser and kitchen ware
Things like that he doesn’t care about
I also choose and order and bits like pictures (he chose one) and and other Knick knacks
He just lets me get on with it-he freely admits that left to him we’d be sat on beer crates with the tv on a cardboard box with books stacked next to it while sleeping on the floor!
But for some reason he likes to help choose paint colours!

Compromise is key.
First thing I did when I split with my ex was redecorate I’m fully my style. It was great!

My experience is that compromise over decor is one of the many many compromises that long term relationships involve but you do figure something out. I don't think I'd want to be in a Tel with someone who just gave me my own way all the time anyway - what sort of partnership would that be?

It’s about compromise, not winning. I wanted to paint our bedroom pink, DH said no so we agreed on a pale purple with mint green accessories which is still fine by me, although it’s not his favourite.

DH wanted the living room Dark grey, I said lighter grey but I don’t really like it. I got the bedroom almost how I want it, he got the living room almost how he wants it.

Ive learned that everything i suggest will result in a no. DP has absolutely no ability to imagine how something will look. He also has stupid ideas thst he says are 'practical'. They are not.
Simple things are a drama and he has zero diy skills but wants to take over.
He works away Mon - Thurs. I decide what im going to do and do it whilst hes away.
Without fail, he loves it.

Non issue, DH doesn't care overly (as my tastes aren't exactly brash!) so it's my taste really.

@Rainbowknickers, I'm bitterly disappointed that your paint colour was a typo.

As said by somebody with a Dragon's Blood bath panel.

In the great scheme of things this is really not important , you have to make all.kinds of decisions when you are in a long term relationship,wether to.kids,how many to.have ,what names etc, where you will live ,where to.go on holiday ,where you will spend Xmas .and so on and so on .

Unless partner doesnt care and wont make digs fine.

I think there are two different areas of potential disagreement: one relates to taste/style and the other relates to cost.

My husband doesn't care in the slightest about the first, so I make all decisions on paint colour etc. He does care about the second. I have therefore had to compromise on certain things, or delay certain purchases longer than I would have liked.

Currently doing just this now - we are lucky in that we broadly have similar tastes but he doesn’t have the best “vision” so often we agree I’ll do something and if he hates it we can change it after...

He’s yet to insist we change anything but I have amazing taste so...

Yep compromise is the key.
Dh is great at colours and design. Me not so much. Although I thought I was good at it.
I tell him what I'd like, he then takes it and puts his own twist and ideas on it and I seem to always like the final outcome.

My dh loves colour. Bright colours and very dark bold colours. I'm more restrained. He hates cream and now grey as it's everywhere.

Buying carpet for our bedroom has been a trauma!

When it's wall decorating he either a) decides he's not bothered and leaves the choices to me or b) I pick several I like and he chooses the one he hates the least. ;)

Sounds more like an issue with your partner!

DP and I rent and have have sometimes disagreed on paint colours, but we generally work it out in the end and we've got to the point where we each know the other's preferences. TBH if you haven't got to that point, I doubt that decorating is your biggest worry when it comes to buying a house! Why not rent for a while, in a house you can decorate, and see how it goes?