Should I tell her?

[JoyMovie]

Name changed as don't want this to be on my posting history.

Partner went out yesterday with his friend. Today his friend messaged him asking him what he should do as he had a ONS and he has a partner.

For me i would want to be told if my partner had a ONS.

Should I tell her or leave it? Would you want to know?

Tell your dp to tell his friend to own up.
Are you friends with the partner?

Stay out of it.

Yes I'm friends with the partner

What is an ONS?

Do they have children?

ONS = one night stand.

My friend told me when my XP did. She was dreading it and afterwards kept asking if she'd done the right thing.

She said she'd have felt like lying to me if she just omitted to tell me.

Still to this day I'm glad she did.

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No they don't have children

Don't do anything

Wouldn't you want to know though if you was the partner?

Wouldn't you want to know though if you was the partner?

Probably not... anyway, it's irrelevant. It's not your place to do so and you'd be very disloyal to your own partner to do so, and involving yourself unnecessarily in their friendship.

If they don't have children, tell her. Id have been hesitant if they did.

Stay out of it. I'm surprised your partner told you, his friend probably thought it was confidential.

Yes we would all like to know, I'm aware of that but it isn't your place to be passing on information that you shouldn't have had in the first place. They may be able to work things out, your partner's friend could have frightened himself half to death by what he did.

Stay out of it - though these threads tend to go the way of YOU MUST TELL IWOULD WANT TO KNOW WOULDN'T YOU

You have to be very aware of the possible consequences to your relationship if you do tell her. The cheater is your partner's friend, and your partner thinks he told you about the ons in confidence. Tell her and it could blow up in your face.

It’s probably best she finds out now what a cheating scumbag he is rather than a few yearsdown the line. When they’ve got 2 little ones.

A rule of thumb is 'do unto others as you would have done to you'.

I would like to have the opportunity to decide whether I wanted to stay with a cheating scumbag in the OP's friend's place, especially before I tied myself to him with DC, so I'd tell definitely.

Also if your DP thinks you shouldn't tell and it should be covered up, you may want to consider his morals.

Stay out of it. Your partner shouldn't have involved you. What is your dp going to do?

Don't tell her OP just sit there I ntbe know whilst she talks about hwo great her relationship is knowing he's put her sexual and emotional health at risk, or as she tears herself apart trying to work out what she's done wrong as he's been really odd with her etc. Sit there and wat H her knowing it may be happening again and again and at some point when she finally finds out you can feel all superior that you didn't tell her years ago.

Or tell DH as he told you to tell his friend to tell her, that you know and that you won't keep quiet for long

I’d be incredibly hurt and never forgive my friend if she knew this information and chose not to tell me