christmas gift being bought by someone else before Christmas

[JAIENLCE29]

I found out yesterday that my LOs paternal grandmother has bought her the same item as what her Dad and I have bought her for her main Christmas present. She has given her the item already, and dropped it casually into conversation yesterday (I dont see her often, the reason me and her son are no longer together is because his parents dont think I am good enough for him.. his words).

When I've done a little bit of digging, it turns out shes bought this item AFTER shes been told what we've bought her for her main Christmas present.

It's not the first time something like this has happened, maybe I'm being precious but it seems deliberate. I cant decide if I should speak to her and explain, or not say anything so she doesn't know that shes upset me. Any advice?

Have you asked your ex what happens to the gift now? Surely he must realise that this takes the shine off of your joint Christmas gift.

Next time tell her you’ve bought a 5 star 3 week holiday to Florida, all the trimmings with 1st class plane tickets 👍😂🤞🤞🤞

I see how you have had a relationship breakdown due to outside factors. Her son should not be telling her so it's his fault and not hers. You can't change some people but you can change how you deal with things (not you but her son).
How old is your LO? If under 3 she really won't remember unless you remind her but as you and her dad are not together it's totally fine to have one here and one there.
Regarding giving it before Xmas, I just can't get on board with how we save everything for the end of the year. When I bought my daughter's toy kitchen, I could have waited for an occasion but that was too far away so we then just built it there and then. It gave all those extra months of play. We then save other occasions for the fillers eg new toy fruit or whatever else.
What's done is done and lessons can be learnt for the future but don't let it get to you as you probably already have a lot on your plate. Children don't care about those details and they just enjoy the play.
I say this as someone who has children and my children have never been gifted anything from the paternal side, let alone a kitchen which costs a fair bit more than the average toy. Enjoy the fact that your daughter will get more play and forget about the rest except how you want to proceed with the future. It will save more grey hairs even though I understand your point.

My ex just says it's not a big deal, and doesn't take the shine off. I've told him I dont agree. There isnt much I can do now about this situation, I will learn from it. I am happy my daughter is loved by many people, who want to spoil her with gifts, I just dont want her to be pulled into games, so will keep things separate moving forward.

My Ex MIL is like this.

Can you get her something else from you? Also I'd definitely say it's time for separate presents. My ex used to insist we brought presents together but one year I just said no I'm doing my own and it's been much easier since

I would take yours back and buy her something else. Pick up a kitchen second hand later in the year.

How do people get the grubby hand marks off painted walls? We have been in our rented house 3 years and the house is now started to look abit battered from the kids. We have started to repaint the walls white as the landlords want to keep the colour neutral but already they are covered in hand prints (mainly from the 2 year old). He’s already drawn all over one of the walls aswell 😩 any tips or secrets for keeping the walls clean?? My OCD is killing me literally with the amount of cleaning I have to do after them.

That was meant to be my own post don’t know why it came up on here! Sorry

Can you get your ex to take it back and think up an appropriate alternative present, eg give him some of the hassle, inconvenience and mental load.

Think calmly about how to turn this dynamic to your advantage. For instance, you could make suggestions of things that your dd could benefit from, that might be stretching your budget.