How to ‘forget’ about upcoming surgery

[naericht]

I got a letter this morning telling me I’ve got a minor op on the 15th ... cystoscopy , urethral dilitation and whatever else they think is needed while they’re in there . Supposedly to try and stop me having constant infections or at least find out why .

I’m bloody terrified of operations, I’m a bad patient generally, I’m on the autistic spectrum and have anxiety ... can’t cope with the lack of control/not knowing the outcome .

I’m fat as well (21 and a half stone, about a size 24-26, bmi over 40) and I’m scared that this won’t help me , I’m not as fit as I should be by a long shot (ie my daily exercise is about 2000-4000 steps) and I’m in a panic . Hospital have said they’ll keep me in solely due to my weight and history of problems with bladder, urine retention etc . Have been told I might need a catheter for a few days after .

I’m dreading the whole thing , I’ve had the op before years ago and remember being in horrendous pain after, and really don’t want that again if I can help it .

I’m trying to make a packing list to calm down and buying some nice wee toiletries, slippers etc but think making myself more nervous !

How can I forget about this for the next fortnight ? I’m not working or anything ... I’m a student but on sick leave til Jan .

I dunno, I think when we're trying to forget things they just get louder and more dominant in our thoughts!things

If feeling more in control is important and useful, are there things that would help? Perhaps having those in place and letting yourself think about it will naturally lead your thoughts elsewhere as your brain gets bored with planning your post-op distractions or whatever?

Or it might be easier to take a few pauses from worrying if you write down everything that scares you to get it out your head or write a checklist of all the things you can do to be in control. I don't know about you, but sometimes I find my brain seems to keep worrying because it's worried it will forget the things I'm meant to be worrying about if I pause - so writing it all down helps me to put it aside for a while because it can't be forgotten if it's written down!

Are there things that help you when you're in pain? Can you set things up at home for afterwards to make life easier? Plan some nice but easy meals (Or buy readymeals) for the days after you get home? Make sure you're stocked up on painkillers just in case.

What about your own pillow or a soft blanket to have with you in hospital on a ward when you might be feeling anxious and sore? Noise cancelling headphones to shut out all the hospital noise? Or just ear plugs.

Would it help you stop being so hard on yourself if I said I would be scared to be facing what you are? It's a natural response (albeit unpleasant!). Try and let yourself off the hook for that at least. Most patients are scared before surgery, it doesn't make you a bad patient.

I tend to plan nice things to do after the event, so I have something nice to look forward to.

Plan something to do everyday such as going for walks, going shopping, meeting up with friends etc. Basically, keeping yourself busy.

The pillow or blanket can be helpful too because then your head can rest on something that smells like home rather than like hospital. Which might make you feel a little calmer.