Do I do this or not..

[Oceanrae]

Hello everyone..
I need a little help with some questions.
Recently for a year now since I had my son I’ve been getting more and more down about everything , 1 my weight! I cannot loose it and 2 I just hate the feelings and thoughts I get I feel like my boyfriend isn’t attracted to me any more he’s not done anything to make me think that but it’s just me! I cannot wear what I used too that made me look half decent I don’t do my makeup no more don’t get dressed hardley and when I do it’s a simple leggings and jumper that’s never been me! , and for a couple month now I’ve been getting that stressed out I’ve been getting so angry and agitated not angry as In violent just angry in my self like where I have to walk out and have 5 minutes to my self but it’s causing problems between my relationship when I get agitated and angry I shout and I hate it I don’t shout at my children but I can be in a mood for a while after that I used to be so happy and the jokey kind of person now I’m just so down and angry i darnt go to the doctors because I don’t want them ring social services they over react about everything my children are well looked after well dressed and very spoilt there in fantastic routines aswell! I’ve never had social services in my family or even when I was a child that’s why I don’t no how they work! It scares me but I just need abit of help to get me back to my old self 😭 please don’t judge x

You’re in a rut. You can take charge of what seems to be the root of it all - your weight.

What has led to you becoming overweight? Recognise why you overeat or don’t do enough exercise and Understand what triggers you to perhaps, comfort eat, which is a common problem for those that put on weight.

A good rule is if you don’t buy it you can’t eat it so don’t buy calorie ridden snacks with a view to occasionally treating yourself when you know you’re going to demolish the lot in a couple of days!

Develop a love of cooking so that you use good quality ingredients that are healthy and that you enjoy eating, although that can be difficult if you have a busy life.

Are you the sort of person that would be motivated by joining a slimming club? I must admit I don’t like the idea of them but some claim they enjoy the moral support.

What about exercise? Pedometer or tracking on your phone can record your steps and inspire you to do more.

Getting healthy and not being overweight will help you feel good about yourself and you can do it if you really want it and put in the effort.

www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Overeating-Conquer-Obsession-Forever/dp/009182561X?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Hi thank you so much for your reply!
I don’t eat through the day but me and my partner eat at 7 when kids are in bed as they swarm around us if we eat together , also I have done slimming world for a couple month but I found out I was pregnant and had a miscarriage unfortunately I feel like I put on a lot of weight after been pregnant with my son , I’m just so depressed I’ve tried so much for years I’ve never been this big but it’s like a baby belly you can see it through my jeans I did really good with slimming world but it’s hard when my partner won’t eat it so im making 3 different meals I just don’t no what to do I’ve had enough now I just want to be happy I’m so depressed angry agitated and stressed I feel like I want to tell the doctor because I don’t want to get mentally ill or anything ..

It’s all connected, feeling depressed and poor eating habits.

It’s rotten that you’ve had a miscarriage and it sounds like you may not have really grieved properly.

Making three different meals is going to be tiring as well! Your partner needs to understand that you are overwhelmed by it all and that eating healthily is not just good for your physical health and appearance but also your mental health. It’s not good to go all day without eating be then eat a big meal.

If you tell your GP you are feeling low you may be prescribed a low dosage of medication that will help to lift your mood and emotions. It’s very common and you won’t be given a label that says ‘mentally ill’.

You sound exhausted and that is a very good reason to ask your GP for help.

I Am so exhausted I get up all through the night with my son he’s up through the night constantly he only settles eithme my partner has tried to settle him it doesn’t work I’m so tired

What I’m more worried about right now is the stress and how angry I get with the tiniest little thing I take my kids to nursery and play groups every week so that they get out as much as they can and that’s the only think that makes me happy seeing them enjoy thereselves and to know that they have had a good day of playing in a different environment not in the house but soon as I get home all the thought flood back and then I get angry and stressed 😭

Aw love, you sound so down.

You don't need slimming world to lose weight - My Fitness Pal is great for keeping an eye on what you're eating. Do you think that the weight is the main thing that's making you unhappy or is it something else? Social services will not become involved just because you go to your GP for help.

I am so down😓 I’ve read up on postnatal depression as my health visitor mentioned it to me but I said my son literally just turned one on the 3rd of this month surely I cannot have postnatal depression?? She said I can I think it’s hat because the kids stress me a lot ! I have a 1 year old and 2 year old I love them to pieces but my god they do fight a lot 😂 my sons very needy of me (he’s 1) and my daughter (2 years) shes has the worst attitude ever at the moment , I do have a really good structure in my house they have routines bed times and nap times so there fab at that I’m sick of been so moody and angry all the time it’s effecting my relationship , the weight is a big part of it but to be honest I couldn’t tell you where this angryness has come from it’s just come out of the blue it’s that kind of angry when your blood boils I get angry over kids banging upstairs I don’t go crazy I just shout pack it in but Noise really irritates me lately not anything like kids playing that doesn’t annoy me just when people bang it really gets to me ! I don’t no what’s happening to me but I hate it and I’m petrifed to become seriously mentally I’ll where I do get my children took from me , I do have anxiety and I had it really bad 4 years ago I couldn’t go out the house or anything my mum and gran had to do my shopping for me but I over came that after having my first child , it is still there but my mum said I constantly start with her I always think what ever she says is negative and that she’s trying to get at me and I do realise I do that? But I don’t no why I think everyone hates me??

Soola

That's a great post.