Dad's ill, do I visit?

[Loopylouloves]

This is a post for the future really. But i have recently gone nc with my dad. 'I'm already nc with my mum and sister. My dad is disabled and suffers from many health problems and is getting older. My dilemma is if he gets ill or goes into hospital should I visit, I'm just so scared of being pulled back into the family dynamics. Does anyone have experience with this? Is it possible to walk away for good or are there times when you can be there but not get dragged back in.

Have you had a look on the Stately Homes thread? I don't have personal experience of this - I'm NC with my mother but my dad died before I went NC - but there are other Stately Homers dealing with the same sort of issues as you.

I started but there was so much to read, which is reassuring as I know I'm not the only one. I think I'm only just realizing my dads part in all this and am trying to prepare myself for future events so i'm not blindsided. I will have another look at thread - thankyou.

There is an absolute ton of it. Ask the question on there, they'll definitely answer.

One thing is that by the time you find yourself in that situation, hopefully some time will have passed and you'll be better able to keep your boundaries around your dad and not get pulled in again. The book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward is quite good on all this stuff, helps you understand the dynamics and maybe realise easier if you're being guilt tripped or whatever.

I am nc with both dps.
No illness would persuade me to make contact.
I am at peace with my decision..