Don’t like my 5-yr-old at the moment and feel like a horrible person. Any advice?

[Crappyme]

5-yr-old doesn’t like school and he’s acting out BIG TIME. Hitting, biting, baby-voice, tantrums, the lot. (Baby-voice might be the most annoying thing he’s doing?!?!)

I don’t like him very much right now and I feel like the worst person ever for it.

Trying VERY hard to not let it show and be kind and patient and loving as normal.

No idea what to do. School not that helpful - he’s fine there, apparently.

I know this is just what some kids go through.

Any advice welcome?! Anyone been through this? Feeling like the worst person today.

Anyone?

Is he doing all this at drop off... In the playground?

He cries in the playground some mornings and is fine others. This morning was ok, yesterday he cried

So he’s just started school? It’s a huge adjustment. If he’s doing fine at school then that’s great and he’s working really hard to manage everything. When he’s home with you it’s his safe place and he’s letting out the confusion and distress this bit change has caused.

Patience and love. That’s all you can do.

The baby voice is normal, he’s regressing but only at home. It will pass. Maybe reassure him he’ll always be your little boy.

The hitting and biting need consequences (withdrawal of privileges etc) but keep your cool and be calm and kind. He’s acting out because emotionally he’s in turmoil.

I know it’s tough but it’s just a phase - he’s not trying to annoy you, he’s working hard to do what’s expected of him.

Crying at drop off is normal - give if time. He needs you to be very calm and solid right now.

When my ds was in reception the teacher said it’s common at first for the kids to act out at home as they are trying so hard to keep it together at school.

You’re so right, AtrociousCircumstance. I know he’s unhappy and suffering, I need to remember that when he’s acting out as he is so, so awful to his siblings and me!

He’s in year 1, wasn’t this bad in reception, but didn’t like it either. He used to be the most delightful child. Interesting and kind and sweet. I loved him and liked him so, so much. I feel terrible that I’m struggling with liking him right now (though love him just the same).

When my daughter was struggling at drop off, we had a special good bye wave, changed it every day until she wasn't interested anymore. We also did a small drawing on our hands... Again different every day. It sort of worked as a distraction and also gave her reassurance at drop off.

Could you also make an agreement with him... Maybe while he is still in bed... Something like, you want a good day today... No biting or messing around and if he gets into school with none of that, there will be a treat waiting when he gets home.

Also give him plenty of praise, high fives, thumbs up when he is behaving.

Aw OP. It sounds tough but it will pass. Hang in there

Those high fives and hand paints are such a lovely idea!

Also good plan on the morning chat. I’m going to try that tomorrow!

Another highly strung evening but tried distracting him with constant play, which helped!