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Original poster

What to do if you catch your son carrying a knife

49 replies

akgmum2019 · 02/10/2019 11:06

I recently became aware that my son has been carrying a knife with him when he has been out the house. I am rather vigilant when it comes to knowing who he is with and when, however I feel like beyond disciplining him myself there is little more I can do.

I feel confident that I can go to the police if necessary, i am just unsure as to what point i should resort to this/if i should have done this already?

Any advice would be great, and even better if you have experienced something similar.

OP posts:

Perunatop · 02/10/2019 14:46

If you report to the police he could easily end up with a prison sentence for carrying a knife in a public place. Is that really what you want? Much better to talk to him about it do everything you can to dissuade him.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47507456

DerbyshireGirly · 02/10/2019 14:49

Whereabouts do you live OP? Could he be involved with a gang or county lines?

ABCDE12344 · 02/10/2019 14:56

As a young black male he's highly likely to be stopped and searched. Show him the sentences they're giving out repeatedly for carrying a bladed article! I'd tell him that when he's caught I will not be coming to visit him

goingtotown · 02/10/2019 15:47

Carrying a knife for self protection is not a defence, it can mean a four year prison sentence even if you don’t use it. If you speak to your son it’s possible he’ll not tell you the truth.

lpchill · 02/10/2019 16:38

Also recommend asking hi. Why he feels he needs to carry a knife. If it's for safety then there are other things he can do to protect himself that won't be classed as a weapon. Ie keys wrapped round his knuckles.

Try and educate yourself and about what will happen if he's caught with it or he uses it as well as what he is legally allowed to carry with a reason for it. (I carry a multi tool knife sometimes on me but it's because I'm a youth worker and a scout leader so it's a tool and a learning tool)

ChilledBee · 02/10/2019 16:40

Message this guy and ask for advice.

m.facebook.com/faz.fazzy.7

Watch the new top boy on Netflix with your son. Talk about it.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 02/10/2019 16:53

Not sure OP but a friends DS was searched and a knife found and he done 3 years in prison . Like your DS he probably has no intention of using it but things can get out of hand . Could be used by or on your DS. Could be stopped and searched like my friends son etc .

ChilledBee · 02/10/2019 18:43

DO NOT go to the police

TipseyTorvey · 02/10/2019 18:59

Agree do not go to the police. He will have a record somewhere of possession with intent that could harm his future prospects however a serious intervention is needed. What kind of knife is it, where did he get it? Who is he hanging out with? Something needs to change in terms of where and who he hangs out with.

noblegiraffe · 02/10/2019 19:07

There’s a difference between asking the police for advice and reporting your son.

They may have a knife amnesty or know a good local organisation.

Ontheblackhill · 02/10/2019 19:10

Another one who says contact Redthread or the Gangs intervention service in your area. In London there are a few good services for young people involved in Gang activity so I would refer him yourself and get some advice and support. Most London Boroughs have these services and they exist in Glasgow too I believe.

Ontheblackhill · 02/10/2019 19:12

Also I dont know why everyone is assuming this child is Black!!! It isnt even a predominately Black issue in London FFS. The kids carrying Knives in Glasgow are White!

Ontheblackhill · 02/10/2019 19:14

Sorry! Just saw the poster state he is young black male. I shall stand down.

WeNeedABudget · 02/10/2019 19:15

To the people going to the police ... they’re not going to charge him on hearsay evidence of him carrying a knife surely? They’d come and speak to him.

Speaking to the police is exactly what I’d be doing and I think you’ll regret it if something happens and you have him the benefit of the doubt right now.

TellySavalashairbrush · 02/10/2019 19:20

Please do not call the police yet. I work with young offenders and carrying a weapon under the age of 18 can result in them getting a conditional caution which lasts for 100 years and can be seen on a DBS.
There are some excellent short films on you tube aimed at teachers try, ‘deep it’ produced by MYM. Or knife crime: a victim’s perspective. Our teenage clients like these as they are modern and they teach a valuable lesson in a non patronising way.

TellySavalashairbrush · 02/10/2019 19:20

Teachers= teenagers
Bloody typo !

Soola · 02/10/2019 19:46

What kind of a knife?

If he gives it up reluctantly what about a Swiss Army knife?

I have one one my key ring as well as a dog knuckle duster for protection.

Bunnybigears · 02/10/2019 19:50

A colleague of mine found her don carrying a knife she contacted a charity (I can find out the name if you want) and my colleague and her son met with a lady whose 16 hear old had been stabbed to death. The son has never carried a knife since.

Lightsabre · 02/10/2019 19:59

If he is carrying a knife for protection then you have a big problem. Not easy but can you move to an area where knife crime isn't an issue or where he'll feel safer?

HoppingPavlova · 03/10/2019 08:07

Also I dont know why everyone is assuming this child is Black!!!

Because the OP stated in a subsequent post that he is a young, black male......

CampingItUp · 03/10/2019 08:21

OP, I would move house.

Might sound hysterical but I live in an area where teenage black males are the victims and perpetrators of knife crime, and the truth is that often they do feel they have no choice. It really is ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ on some estates.

Of course he is at added risk from the police, stop and search etc.

Has he said anything to you about what is going on?

CampingItUp · 03/10/2019 08:27

The mother of a 17 yo stabbed near us had been trying to move house for 2 years because of the environment pressures on young black boys like hers.

Gang exit often involves moving.

Lots of perfectly lovely lads get netted into a gang or knife carrying situation because they have little choice.

Evilmorty · 03/10/2019 10:04

Ok I see he is 17. I know this sounds like a lot of work but I would do my absolute best to give him lifts everywhere, and pick him and his friends up. Not go in cars with other boys you don’t know. Try to engage him in to staying home and having some close and trusted friends over to play video games instead of him going out. Talk to his friends, get to know them, suss them out, work out who are the good ones and who aren’t. Talk to him about a martial art training to focus him in a defense art that involves discipline. Is he at college or school? Talk to them about who he hangs around with.

All while looking at moving home.

JayDot500 · 03/10/2019 10:35

He's 17, soon an adult. You need to get firmer with him. OP I'm black too, raising a black son (he's only little though). If you/his dad/someone cannot stop him from carrying the knife, there's a good chance he will be stopped for Stop and Search and then that's the beginning of his criminal record. Or, worst case, he stabs someone and you live with the guilt. Now that you know, you must try to understand why he's carrying it and intervene in the most appropriate way. He can turn things around, no harm done this far.

I nearly lost my brother when he was stabbed. I would say that the police were amazing. They believed my brother was innocent (helped by the fact he wasn't carrying anything and tbh has never had issues with the police as he's a good guy) and found the boy thanks to CCTV. On the day of the trial, they called us to say it collapsed due to lack of evidence. They had found knives under his bed, but the boys mum had stuck up for him and told the police they were hers. The boy ended up with probation but went on to stab someone else, only then did they successfully prosecute him and he went to prison for that stabbing. Don't be that mum.

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