Can anyone tell me if this is normal

[Happylifeofmum]

Hi Just wondering if someone can help or give advice . I am 29 with 2 kids. I have recently started a new job part time after finishing college. One child at school the other nursery.

I feel like i have loads of decisions to be making right now i.e relationship - not if but when to split up with childrens dad who is now nothing but a flatmate to me which gradually happened over the past few years, other things such as my current job im deciiding wether to stay 2 days shifts or move to mon-fri school hours meaning when my youngest goes to school i am there for pick ups (this will be a different school from my oldest) also where to live i need an extra bedroom as my kids are still sharing and its becoming a problem. I am in a council estate area just now but house small, neighbours not amazing although my family is near me and help with kids etc. I have the choice to move to another council estate area - close by but i know some people here but not loads but this gives me the opportunity to have an extra bedroom for kids.

With all this going on i feel like my indecisiveness at the best of times is awful but this is all too much and giving me bad anxiety and struggling to make the smallest decision. It just seems impossible to do. Keeping me awake at night etc.

This has went on for a few years now seems to be since just after my youngest was born i am a different version of my former self, ie new job no confidence although i know i can do it and be good at it i struggle with the confidence side and getting right in about it, paranoid if people will like me and scared incase people think i may be stepping in their toes. Its becoming really frustrating and getting me down now. Basically taking over my life.

Also things like watching my old school friends get married and look so happy on social media and i feel although i have my kids who i love dearly , i am with someone(although will be leaving very soon) that i don't love and feel now i have kids and am feeling paranoid/self conscious/ no confidence/ anxious that i will never be that happy again and will be left even more down if I leave partner, as ill be lonely and probably left on the shelf lol!

I don't remember feeling like this before my youngest was born (4). Recently i feel sometimes that i just want to get my kids, go home, put up with the boring life/man i have and get cosy in my house because im comfortable that way, that is my comfort zone. I dont no whats happening to me its a horrible feeling.

Sorry for posting i dont no what i expect from yous all but does anyone know if this sounds like depression or if im just stuck in a rut or what is actually going on as i cant pinpoint it.

Thanks x

Can anyone give advice?

Hi,
It sounds like - and I’m not a practitioner- anxiety.
Have you been to the GPS?

Didn't want to read and run. Have you tired writing things down? One section/decision at a time? Like tackle the house move first. Then go onto your partner, etc. You are making very big life changes so there will be stress, but you can do it and come out the other side. Perhaps rather than get bogged down in the details all the time, think forward to when you will be happily settled in your new place with happy kids?
Do you have anyone in RL you can sit down and chat thigs through with?
If you are worried about depression, or personality changes, perhaps see your GP?
I wish you well, and you can do this!

Maybe some counselling to talk all this through would help

You could benefit from clarity. Take time to Write a list. Or several lists. But write them well. About what is good with you and your life right now and what you want to do in 1,2,3,5 years. Leave the list for a couple of days then condense it to what is really important for your health and well-being. Sleep on it for a day or so then re write the list with an action plan next to each item. Then get on with it. Small details will sort themselves out as you go through making changes so don’t use them as an excuse for doing nothing.
Good luck!! You are still you but perhaps a bit overwhelmed. Things will settle but you need to get to work one way or another and make decisions.

Thank you everyone for the replies yes i think it may be anxiety. Sorted my job out so that’s one down i’ll just have to take it a step at a time and try not to think of everything at once.

Thanks

Sorting out the job is a really big achievement! You can do it all but be strategic about it and make a plan - you can always adjust or change the plan but at least you would have a clear direction to follow.
Forget about everything you see on social media, it’s all make believe and smoke screens only to be watched as satire.
Good luck!