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Original poster

Reporting child assault to police.

26 replies

ThisMustBeMyDream · 29/09/2019 23:41

I reported a child being assaulted today. In soft play - child goes running past, mum and nan running after her. First one (nan) grabs her and shouts loudly and aggressively whilst slapping her bottom 3 or 4 times. Mum immediately grabs her and does the same. She had kicked her little sister (I discovered from the shouting was going on).

It was one of those frozen to the spot moments where you can't quite believe you have witnessed something. I was with my own two children, and felt too vulnerable at that point to go and say something.

So today, I called the soft play and asked if they had cctv. I explained why (manager was horrified). The manager asked for a description of the child and adults so she could identify them on cctv. When I gave a description she said she knew who I was referring to straight away.

So at that point I knew I could do something with it. As without any cctv or someone being able to identify the family - it would have gone nowhere. I reported it to the police as I know they will be able to view cctv, and pass details to social services.

The reason why I am posting this is because I felt the 101 responder thought I was wasting their time/a busy body. I thought I was doing the right thing. If I knew the name I'd have gone straight to social services. I rang the police as they would be able to view the evidence (cctv) and speak to staff - social workers wouldn't be able to view the cctv as far as I am aware. Maybe I was wrong? Was I?

OP posts:
Greatnorthwoods · 29/09/2019 23:47

I personally wouldn’t have done anything about it, but it’s your choice.

june2007 · 29/09/2019 23:47

Smacking is not illegal but what is "reasonable chastisement" is ver open to interpretation. If you think this went beyond that. (and two adults smaking for the same thing does.) Then I think you don't need to feel ad you have done your part.

Smudge18 · 30/09/2019 00:00

You definitely did the right thing and are right that Social Workers wouldn't be able to access the CCTV so Police would have to be involved anyway. The call taker shouldn't have made you feel like that though

frasersmummy · 30/09/2019 00:30

Police probably weren't interested as it's not a crime to smack your child.. So long as you don't leave a mark.

Honestly parenting is stressful enough. We all make so many decisions so quickly every day, sometimes we make the wrong one.

But every parent struggles and someone doesn't deserve to be reported to the police based on one decision to smack their child.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 30/09/2019 07:25

It wasn't 'a' smack. It was a proper beating from 2 adults. She had 3 or 4 from each adult in succession. I wouldn't have reported a single smack.

OP posts:
Barbel · 30/09/2019 07:31

I'm a Social Worker .... you did the right thing

italianfiat · 30/09/2019 07:34

But every parent struggles and someone doesn't deserve to be reported to the police based on one decision to smack their child.

Did you read the OP?

I totally agree that reporting was the right thing to do here. Never mind what the 101 op may or may not be thinking. They are there to take your call and no more

December2019 · 30/09/2019 07:36

If the parent/nan can do that in plain sight of people in a public place I dread to think what could be going on behind closed doors, I'd say you did the right thing, of course the child is going to hit or kick if the parents are doing it to her, poor little thing! Makes my blood boil!

Thereblegeopart · 30/09/2019 07:38

I'm a Social Worker .... you did the right thing

@Barbel - so what would you have done in its place, or do if child continued to misbehave at soft play and at home?

forkfun · 30/09/2019 07:40

I've had a similar experience. I reported what I knew to be severe neglect. The phone operator was not the least bit interested. It was so disheartening. I knew those kids were suffering and to hear the lack of interest was quite shocking. However, about a year later the kids were all removed from the parents. I guess I wasn't the only one who raised concerns. I think sometimes your very limited knowledge of one incident can help to build up a fuller picture. And I disagree with this whole "parenting is hard, you don't know the full story". you don't need to know the full story when something vulnerable is being neglected, hurt or abused. You've done the right thing.

forkfun · 30/09/2019 07:43

@Thereblegeopart there are many ways to parent without beating or smacking or shouting. I can highly recommended the book "the incredible years" which focuses on positive parenting models.

RickOShay · 30/09/2019 07:43

You did the right thing. As fork says, you have one piece of the jigsaw. It might have been a one off, but if it isn’t your information is vital.

whatthehek · 30/09/2019 07:44

There is a difference between a parent smacking a bum once and two adults assaulting and humiliating a child in public.

The fact that they have no care that it was in public, makes you wonder what goes on behind closed doors.

I would have done exactly the same thing. Probably would have said something to them as well (just cos I can't help myself 😬)

x2boys · 30/09/2019 08:20

Regardless of whether it was the right thing to do. Or not do you have to.give the soft play your address? Idon't recall ever having to give my address or even full name when I took mine to soft play ,we just signed in , " A,and J Smith" if there's no name or address what can the police do?

Breastfeedingworries · 30/09/2019 08:20

You should not hit children full stop!

You did the right thing! Angry

Schoolisback1973 · 30/09/2019 08:25

You did the right thing!!

Barbel · 01/10/2019 10:42

Thereblegeopart ... are you actually joking? There's about 50 different things you could do rather than resort to physically humiliating a child in a play area!

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 01/10/2019 13:01

The police called me back yesterday and the gentleman I spoke to seemed much better. He asked me if it was just a smack or more than just that - which obviously this was as I've said. He said that the centre had a phone number for the family in question - so they must be members (you can join and pay £5 to get £1 off each entry) as they definitely take details for members. The police said from that one phone number, they had quite a lot of interesting information. I can only conclude they are well known to them. He said they would be in touch if further information was required but that it would definitely be taken further at this stage.

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 01/10/2019 13:05

Get you Mrs Marple!

1Lollypop · 01/10/2019 13:18

You deffinatly done the right thing, dont doubt yourself! Dont belive in smacking your child wether its once or ten times, well done you! 😊😊😊

Unshriven · 01/10/2019 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MustardScreams · 01/10/2019 13:26

If they act like that on public, imagine what that child goes through at home.

I have a toddler, she can be a total nightmare at times. I manage to parent her without ever being violent, it’s really not hard. And I don’t care how legal it is, it is never ok to use violence as a parenting tool.

Original poster
ThisMustBeMyDream · 02/10/2019 00:18

What is so unprofessional about saying he had spoken to the centre, they had a number for the family, and from that one number, it gave quite a lot of interesting information? He hasn't divulged what that is. Or who the family is. He has just confirmed they have been identified.
He asked if I would be happy to give a statement if it went to court. That was pretty much it. Nothing confidential was shared.

OP posts:
Mummaofmytribe · 02/10/2019 00:23

I would've done the same thing. Poor little kid

MeggyMeg · 02/10/2019 04:07

Surely you'd need to give a statement regardless if it went to court.

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