Why send a "thanks for coming to the party" message on the class chat when it wasn't a class invite?

[Crunchymum]

Obviously DC2 was one of the "uninvited" but that isn't the point. Both my school age children know they won't be invited to every party and are very accepting of this.

They get their fair share of invites but also there are times the invites are passed out and they don't get one. No problem.

But why oh why would you post a gushing thanks for making memories, boak post on a group chat when you you know you didn't invite everyone?

• unless they did invite everyone, except DC2

Its really irked me for some reason. Not the party, not the fact my DC wasn't invited but the fact someone seems to think it's ok to make sure people know their kids were excluded.

We often get thank yous in the year group FB group. Theres never a party that everyone in both classes is invited to!

As an adult 3 of our NCT group repeatedly post pictures of themselves together at events the other 5 of us haven’t been invited to. They clearly have their own whatsapp group to arrange these meets so I can only assume they do it on purpose to be arseholes. Feels like I’m back at school!

I'm not being snide.

Just think it's a different generation of parenting.

We never had class what's app etc and so didn't have the party apps.

I do have what's app group chats now. But not for school things (he's 15!)

Several people commented today "your welcome" (and yes one fuckwit actually spelt it like that!)

Hate it. I always sit taking notes of who got what while my girls open their gifts so I can make sure we thank people individually. I think a group Facebook message is a bit tacky.

So rude. I don’t even put photos on Facebook of my children’s birthday parties because they don’t invite everyone in class and I don’t want it to look like “oo we had a great time without you”.

A “friend” of mine often used to post pictures of get togethers that I wasn’t invited to, nothing much, just little casual get togethers but I always thought it was so crass to not think of how it might affect people.

Yep shitty thing for mother to have done. Our class WA is used for party messages only if whole class is invited.

Ds wasn’t invited to a party this weekend, which is absolutely fine but one mother messaged me to ask if he was going (her son clearly had been invited). Surely she would have seen from the invite list his name wasn’t on... I just replied, “no”.

class is full of PTA / well to do types

What’s that got to do with the price of fish?

Yep shitty thing for mother to have done. Our class WA is used for party messages only if whole class is invited.

Which is presumably why this person probably created a separate WhatsApp group for the party invitations, given that there was no previous mention of it on the whole class one, but then accidentally posted to the whole class one when saying thanks? I mean, it's a gaffe, but probably not intended as a slight.

I know the OP says there's no culture of people making individual party WhatsApps at her school, but someone has to be the first to do one, and then, in my experience, it catches on quickly, as it's so convenient and fast.

I wasn't even invited to join the whole class WhatsApp for DS's class until almost two years after it had been created (when he was in Reception) as I almost never do drop-off and pick-up. The first I knew of it was when I was sitting next to another class mother at the Year 2 Nativity play, glanced down at her phone and saw her posting to a group clearly called 'Class Mums'. I chose to see it as an oversight rather than an insult, asked to be added, and I find it useful when needed for homework misses etc.

@VenusClapTrap

Very clique / all seem to know each other already.

• cliquey