Reposted the below from chat. My friend still here and we are chatting but I'm unable to really help (mainly because I basically hate the school and all slt but with good reason - but it doesn't make me the most impartial person!!) and we'd love an outside POV.
This is posted for a friend who's here atm and very upset. She's not a member so has asked me to post on my account.
Our ds are long time friends, both yr 11 but different schools. (You can check my account and you'll see my ds is same age and he use to attend same school until he moved for yr 8).
Her ds was being 'teased' or we think bullied by a group of the 'hard' lads for a period of time. He ignored at first and then reported. Told to ignore and friend feels pretty ineffectively dealt with.
On Friday her ds was being called gay in front of loads of peers. He stood up for himself and asked how they figured that when he has a girlfriend.
The ringleader then said because everyone knows he's actually transgender. (F-m) That he was born as Olivia and Oliver is his new acquired name. (Not real names but they chose a female name close to his).
They then continued to state how he used to go to primary in skirts (untrue) and that's proof etc etc.
Obviously lies and was being done to either embarrass or just outright bully friends son.
Friends son has a transgender friend (M-F). He decided enough was enough and a) they need to get off his back and b) transphobia/ bullying needs to stop before they go too far and actually do pick on someone who is transgender.
Here's where it goes wrong in our opinion.
HOY has actually said he believe friends son is the transphobic one for being upset at being called transgender and he'll be speaking to head but most likely minimum punishment will be 2 days in isolation next week.
Friends ds has never so much as even had a detention. He's devastated and mortified. He reported as felt they needed to be stopped NOT because he thinks there is something wrong with being transgender.
My friend wants to keep him home Monday until it's sorted. (I said I wouldn't as yr 11) but would turn up at school first thing Monday and challenge the schools stance. (I can't go as this was school that failed to intervene when my own ds was bullied resulting in that kid pulling a knife on ds in class. He's one of the ones involved in this).
She doesn't think she'll get anywhere - school is an academy not known for its willingness to consider parents have any viewpoint even worth listening to (let alone changing their minds) and the only reason she's kept her son there (they've had a massive movement over the years) is that he keeps himself to himself, has great friends and is academically very able and studies hard independently so will do well at GCSEs.
Sons friends all want to challenge school too and she's concerned that will not end well for any of them. (The school is known for its autocratic approach and complete lack of tolerance for any challenge against them).
Have the wise MNers on my screen got any suggestions or any good ways she can word to the school that their take on this is wrong? Or does anyone agree with school and can explain to us where they are coming from?