After a crappy year due to mental health issues and other scary health issues that I'm still waiting to be tested for I have decided to take control of my life for once.
I've finally filled out a housing application so I can move out of my unsuitable house share with CF housemates. I'm applying for benefits while I work on updating my CV and I'm seeking support in looking for jobs. I'm working out what I need to do to improve my health and fitness and I'm working on a budget and saving money. The biggest thing I have done however is demand some respect from my family. They don't have to like me, but if they're using me as free child care and the fact that I call mum daily and support her however I can from three hours away to absolve themselves of guilt for not helping her themselves the least they can do is treat me with respect and not like an idiotic child. It'll be trickier talking to my friends, they respect me more than anyone else but I have allowed them to walk over me more often than not because that has been the model of all the relationships I have ever had and I am conditioned by my family to allow it to happen because it's my job to make everyone else happy at the expense of myself.
I know it'll take awhile for anything to happen but it feels good knowing that I'm taking steps to change my life. There will be times I'll relapse in enforcing boundaries or that my anxiety is crushing me but I'll keep pushing forward and demanding better of and for myself because I deserve the same treatment as anyone else. I am autistic not a second class non-autistic.