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Original poster

Did an automatic solve your driving issues?

99 replies

LeeMiller · 27/09/2019 16:21

Just that really. I have a manual license but hated lessons and never got to the stage of feeling confident and have barely driven since my test a few years ago. My issues are that I'm an extremely anxious driver (although I feel part of that anxiety is justified because there are plenty of crazy and dangerous drivers in the European country where I live), badly coordinated (so changing gears can be stressful and I feel distracts me from the road), and a perfectionist who is not good at persevering with things I struggle with.

My life would be considerably easier and better in lots of ways if I had a car/drove, especially now I have baby DS (though the responsibility of driving him about makes me even more nervous). I had a lesson in an automatic on holiday and though I seem to have forgotten how to steer properly I could see it would be much easier, though I'm not sure it would solve all my problems. I can't take automatic lessons where I live though so I would need to buy an automatic and get DH to.go out with me until I was ready to go it alone.

Did an automatic make a big difference to you? Or wasn't it enough? I'm worried I'm just one of those people that can't do it. Any other suggestions for getting over the fear?

OP posts:
Original poster
LeeMiller · 27/09/2019 17:27

I didn't know that about electric/hybrid cars... So automatics are the future anyway!

OP posts:
velocitygirl7 · 27/09/2019 17:28

I'm currently learning in an automatic, I'm late 40s and feel it's now or never and that by cutting out the whole clutch/gear situation my menopausal fuzzy brain might just about cope!!
I've paid for an intensive course, I'm in week 2 and have already clocked up 15hrs and I'm loving it. My theory test is in a week and if I pass that my instructor will book my test asap.
If I can do it, anyone can!!!

SconeofDestiny · 27/09/2019 17:28

I've been driving confidently for over 30 years but swapped to an Automatic for DH as he's a very nervous driver. He didn't learn until his 40's.
He still only drives about 5% of the time but he definitely wouldn't drive at all if we still had a manual. I suspect he might be Dyspraxic particularly because his handwriting is unreadable, he never learnt to ride a bike and he's got zero sense of direction.

I love driving an Auto and wouldn't go back to a manual now.

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mistermagpie · 27/09/2019 17:28

I passed my test in a manual about 19 years ago and then didn't drive until 2.5 years ago, so I have been exactly where you are. Very nervous, anxious and just found the whole thing too stressful. I do drive now and have a manual but still avoid complicated roundabouts if I can!

Changing gear doesn't bother me as such but I do think an automatic would take one thing out of the equation. DH has an automatic, just because the car he wanted happened to be one, and it does seem easier. His is massive though (seven seater) so I have never fancied driving it!

Harp1977 · 27/09/2019 17:32

I am the opposite I now need to switch from manual to automatic after 20 yrs of driving. I am really struggling 😂. I make DP drive the car to a supermarket car park near us at 6am and have been practicing there. I keep stalling the automatic and I am using the handbrake as a foot rest. But I will keep practicing and hopefully get better.
Yes it should be simpler for you good luck keep practicing and hopefully you'll enjoy it some day.

autumnboys · 27/09/2019 17:34

I have a full licence and over 25 years of driving experience. I never minded gears (I drove a 2CV for a bit which has another sort of gears) but we got an automatic two years ago and it really is very much simpler. Definitely give it a go! I am already thinking it might be a better option for DS3, who has autism and some coordination issues.

Doormat247 · 27/09/2019 17:37

My DP loves his automatic as he has Aspergers and gets flustered easily and frustrated when he can't get things right. He found it too much hassle using the clutch constantly and it means he can now enjoy driving.

I hate driving and would love an automatic but can't afford another car. I'm not insured to drive my DP car so I've been ordering automatics on the rare occasions I have to rent them for work. They seem pretty good but are much larger (and expensive) than the sort of car I'd actually own so I'm quite scared of them. It does help to stop you getting quite so flustered and in a muddle.

Pancakeflipper · 27/09/2019 17:40

I've an automatic car. My DP used to sneer at me and make out I was a second rate driver... Then he used mine and now has automatic. He finds it easier as travels hundreds of miles a week.
Oddly enough no-one has pointed at me as I drive along the roads declaring I am a second rate driver. That attitude is fading out (except with dino-DP).

Oblomov19 · 27/09/2019 17:51

I've only ever driven a manual. But when I drive Dh's automatic Mercedes v8 engine, it's to die for! Grin

Oblomov19 · 27/09/2019 17:52

I will still make Ds1 sit the exam for driving a manual though! Smile

Oblomov19 · 27/09/2019 17:53

I believe that learning to drive a manual - if you are not dyspraxic / similar, is worth the extra effort.

TeenPlusTwenties · 27/09/2019 17:57

With DD1 we said learn in an automatic, and if you ever find it's a pain not being able to drive manual, then see if you can learn that. But at least she'll already know how to drive and have a number of years experience first so will only be 'adding in' the gears.

Pringlesfortea · 27/09/2019 17:58

100% yes
With out an automatic car I’d be walking

AlphabetDinosaur · 27/09/2019 17:59

Passed my test at 19 in a manual and didn't drive again for 10 years as I absolutely hated driving. Had refresher lessons in a manual and still couldn't bring myself to drive on my own. Got an automatic and it made so much difference! I now drive every day in a non-UK country on the 'wrong' side of the road and it's great! I'm almost enjoying driving which I never thought I'd say.

hsegfiugseskufh · 27/09/2019 18:00

Yep. I tried for ages to drive a manual. I just dont have the coordination.

Passed first time in an auto and find it easy. Can focus entirely on road instead of changing gear etc.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/09/2019 18:05

Made an enormous difference to me, greatly regret not doing it sooner.

I passed my test in a manual after umpteen goes then didn't drive for 10 years because I hated it so much. I am so much calmer in an automatic.

RandomlyChosenName · 27/09/2019 18:07

DH and I have been driving manual cars for 15+ years. We’ve just got an electric automatic. Wow! It is so much easier.

Like previous poster, I can’t understand why manuals are still made. There is no point having manual gears. They are outdated like a pulling out the choke and should go! I can’t under why automatics aren’t the normal option (apart from the price premium, which I’m sure would drop if they were the only car option).

Original poster
LeeMiller · 27/09/2019 18:10

I can drive a manual, officially at least. Passed first time, though the test wasn't as rigorous as the UK one, I don't think. And an automatic test wasn't an option here as the schools don't have them But much better to learn in an automatic and actually drive than learn in a manual and never drive because you hate it, like me!

OP posts:
Original poster
LeeMiller · 27/09/2019 18:13

I am inspired by the stories like yours the Countess I've put so much effort into finding reasons and excuses not too drive and it's become a bigger and bigger deal in my mind. I'm really hoping this might be the answer.

OP posts:
Tazp · 27/09/2019 18:20

Place Marking too- I am a nervous driver had lots of lessons but never wanted to take a test - have been considering learning automatic.

Therealme56 · 27/09/2019 18:30

I passed my test in an automatic first time at the age of 47! My instructor allowed me to use my own car for lessons and I just felt so relaxed. Since then, three male family members who all drove manual cars have changed to automatic after "borrowing" mine. Good luck to all who are taking lessons - if I can do it, so can anyone Wink

alexdgr8 · 27/09/2019 18:32

nearly all cases of elderly people losing control and causing injuries or worse are in automatic cars.
I was nearly run over by one such who mounted the kerb at speed.
in every case that I've read, the driver has got flustered and trying to stop the car presses the accelerator in error, and then presses harder.
I guess you are not elderly, but elderly people tend to drive automatics because they are easier.
that's what worries me; people who are not confident, fully capable drivers, if anything goes wrong, ie if they make an error, the consequences tend to be fa worse.
if someone pressed the wrong pedal in a manual, there may be an initial spurt, but then the car would stall and come to a halt.
with automatics they just carry on.
have as much instruction or practice under instruction as possible. learn as much as possible, maybe practice on a simulator. get as much road-sense as poss. be cautious. do not go beyond you feel comfortable. always err on the side of caution. please. never put convenience before safety, as much for your own welfare as that of passengers/other road users.
the consequences can be life long, life changing, life limiting.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 27/09/2019 18:40

What makes you all worry about manual cars? Genuine question.

gothicsprout · 27/09/2019 18:41

Yet another person here who passed in a manual first time but then didn’t drive for 10 years and lacked confidence. We bought an automatic and I had some refresher lessons (in a manual, and then my instructor came for 2 sessions in my car). The automatic means I can focus more on the road and other drivers rather than the car bits and bobs.

My other tips for feeling calmer are:

  • Physically try to breathe out and relax when you get in. I spent so much time gripping the wheel really tightly and tensing in my seat before, it was uncomfortable!
  • Practice. Short trips, familiar routes.
  • Take extra time and have a plan. For me, I hate parking but have no choice but to parallel park on the road most of the time. I decide in advance whether I’ll go to the next street over or drive round the block again, if there’s no spaces or other cars waiting.
  • I avoid driving with my DH if possible - he means well but stresses me out with suggestions!
Dowser · 27/09/2019 18:43

I’ve just got my umpteenth auto
Toyota auris..5 years old and I love it
Me and the machine are one 👍

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