Mistake at work - let it go?

[Wheelson]

NC for this.

I started a new job this week. First one in a few years after DC. It was going well but I made a mistake yesterday and my manager (nicely) pulled me up on it. She was at pains to say she didn't want to make a big deal out of it and I said I understood and I rectified it immediately and we moved on.

But the part of me that struggles with low self esteem and is hyper self critical just can't seem to let it go. I keep beating myself up over it. Someone brought it to her attention and now I feel paranoid because I don't know who it was and I'm worried people are talking about me.

The professional, mature side of me says just to let it go, get my head down and keep being the nice, friendly person I know I am. The mistake won't ever happen again. The other side of me wants to raise it again with her today, apologise again and reassure her it won't happen again but I know that only succeeds in bringing it back into her mind when I really want it forgotten.

Is anyone else like this about making mistakes?
I should just leave it, shouldn't I?

I'm a bit like that, I cringe at mistakes for ages but I would never want someone else to.

You need to leave it. Everyone makes mistakes, and she was right to bring it to your attention. If you keep apologising for it, you're drawing more attention to it.

I do understand struggling with lack of confidence, I've been there too, but if you keep apologising you're going to get a reputation for being overly sensitive and unable to accept constructive advice. It would be more damaging to your professional reputation to keep raising it than to let it go.

I totally sympathise. My brain occasionally drags up mistake I made years ago so I have the pleasure of cringing all over again. But everyone makes mistakes, especially when they're new. So yes, you need to let it go and move on. Onwards and upwards!

Congratulations on your new job!

Totally understand where you are coming from but I’d leave it. You are new to it and still picking things up. Looking backwards won’t change anything, just be determined and move forward. You can do it!

Many many years ago I made a mistake at work. The office cleaner had been off sick and we had a replacement. I answered the phone one morning from the ill cleaner, telling us she would be back in the following day. I forgot to pass the message on to the office manager. Next day we had two cleaners! The manager gave me a good telling off and threatened to take the wages of one of the cleaners out of my wages! I still cringe and have turned bright red with embarrassment just writing about it now.. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@strongandlong this happens to me too, it's horrible. I thought I was the only one

Mistakes happen.
I've always owned up if it's me that's noticed it first.
Fixed it and made sure it won't happen again.

Let it go. Most people make mistakes when they are learning and the key is to learn from it. Your colleagues and manager wont even be thinking of it again - unless of course you make the same mistake again.

Definitely just leave it. Absolutely everybody makes mistakes sometimes, it doesn't mean you are a bad person or that you're bad at your job. I know it's so easy to dwell on these things but try to just let it go and not stress. You'll soon feel better about it with the passage of time

Turn it around. If you have made a mistake then clearly you want to know about it and put it right. So, how would you like your manager to let you know? Nicely ? Angrily? Passive-aggressively? Etc. Seems to me you have a good manager and should celebrate that.

Thanks everyone! I'll take your advice!

I'm also really bad at dredging up things from the past just to punish myself. I wish I knew why because it only makes me feel like shit!

I'm just annoyed as, looking back, it was a mistake I really shouldn't have made and it's so obvious when put into context (as she did) that it was the wrong thing to do.

Let it go, raising it again makes it a bigger deal than it is.

I manage a team, and I can say hand on heart, everyone makes mistakes, including me, and my company director.

I don’t expect infallibility from anyone- including myself. All I ask is that people acknowledge mistakes, and wherever possible, work to find/ provide the solution, if they can.

If you were on my team, I’d be more worried about you beating yourself up and wasting energy over something and nothing, than I would the mistake itself.

Let it go.

Don’t mention it again and there’s every chance she’ll just be really impressed by how professional you are - that you’ve taken critique, rectified the issue and moved on - and it will probably make her pleased that she’s employed someone who deals with things so maturely. She’ll think you’re professional, she’ll think she’s clever for employing you - win win all round!

You've fixed it, now take the energy you are putting into worrying and instead

1. work out how to prevent you or anyone else making the same mistake in the future.
2. learning some techniques for resilience. Making mistakes isn't the problem - it's not learning from them.

Thanks everyone. I haven't said anything and just been getting on with the job. I am still thinking a bit about it and how stupid a mistake it was but I know that will pass with time. I just hate people thinking that I'm an idiot so it's taken the shine off getting the job a bit but I've definitely learned a lesson from the mistake.