I have to post this quick ad then leave the thread as is taking me back to the near identical situation we had with DD when she was delivered in May - she had a weak windpipe and they thought a mystery skin “flap” that was making airflow tricky, she was on tubes and CPAP but finally extubated on day 4 or 5, I’m still in shock.
You’ve had this for 8 days, you must be in bits and I’m upset just reading this. My DDs issue just “went”. They think that she may literally have grown by the 0.001cm that was needed to get the flap to stop “capping” the windpipe but I don’t know if this is the case.... it’s just hearsay.
I am a late baker; DD1 born hale and hearty at 42w EMCS after failed induction. DS born at 39 and struggled with breathing; borderline admission to SCBU then he evacuated his lungs all over the floor of the ward 48hrs later. DD2 was ELCSd as my heart was being mental and the drugs I was on were so strong they felt it best to deliver.
It was so scary, she was with me an hour and that was it. She was whizzed off and tubes, bleepy things the lot. I was and am so angry and daring to believe that she’d be ok as 100s of folk have had 37weekers and “its term, baby will be fine”. I knew she wouldn’t be and nobody would listen. It didn’t matter, the shock of it all still cut me in half.
Now DD2 is actually massive. She’s a podge, drinks milk like it’s going out of fashion and she laughs and giggles at her brother and sister. She is STRONG, you would never know she was so poorly at birth and she amazes me every day.
Serious consideration: get some therapy within a month of your baby coming out of SCBU. I did and I swear it allowed me to function as a parent to my other two AND her. Yes I paid for it but worth every penny. Secondly, let folk help. If someone says, “what can I do” tell them to bring you pizza they’ve baked at home in a Tupperware to you in hospital. Tell them to come and see you in there so you can just have someone to talk to that’s not your shell shocked DH.
I want a 4th. That experience may put the kibosh on it but then I look at DD and pray that DH manages to talk about it all one day and we can move forward together. He was and is deeply traumatised but nearly 19 weeks later he’s coming through the other side.
I’m sorry for the essay, i was you in May and it was awful awful awful. I feel truly dreadful for saying that was the worst day of my life and then the worst days of my life after that (and I’ve been through divorce and my mum dying); my daughter was born, that’s a thing to celebrate, surely?
But you will get there. Your baby will be extubated and then intubated perhaps a couple more times and then they will either go “ok, it’s fine now, he can breathe unaided” or they can assess the situation better and perhaps surgery may be needed.
Anyway, what a fucking ramble.
I don’t know you but I want to send you, your baby and your other half my love and hugs and positive vibes.
Signing off now as I’m finding even typing this all v hard indeed.