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Grandson

7 replies

Roobaby141 · 26/09/2019 20:24

I feel abit nervous, i'm not very good at computing etc. This is my first time on mumsnet. My grandson was 3 on the 9th of Sept this year. He's wonderful, a ray of sunshine. He has lived with us since he was 9months old, my daughter for many reasons left him with us. I do have four children my elder son and daughter have left home and my two younger ones are still living at home. I'm 49 and my partner of 14years is 66 very soon. My youngest son was 12 when my grandson came to live with us, hes now 15 and he and his brother who has learning difficulties is 20. Both are amazing uncles. I just wanted to say, we had so much badness about having my grandson. Even in my own family I was accused of wanting another child as my partner and I had made a choice not to have children as I had four and that was what I wanted. We did not have a choice when it came to my grandson my daughter left one day and did not came back I had a text she said we could have Jake. So we did. My partner put his hand on the little ones head. looked and me and said the little lad will be alright with us. That was that, and our lives changed overnight, rooms were changed to give my sons a room each as well as the baby moving near us. we had social services round and the police checking on us to make sure that Jake was okay and not being harmed. My daughter after 48hours went to the hospital to get sectioned but did not follow it through. Three years down the line, I do swimming lessons with him and we both do nursery runs and all the things that go with it. Its exhausting and amazing and a wonderful thing to do second time around. You do learn from the first lot of parenting. We could not now see our lives without him. A blessing and such a cheeky chap who wakes up going Good morning grandma. My heart still melts every day. I just needed to say. We had so much negativity when our grandson came into our lives it was awful. Yet a ray of sunshine he is and I would not change a thing. My daughter has changed her life and has a lovely relationship with her son. Yet for me its a double edged sword. Its fab that this is so. My grandson knows us as grandma and grandpa, his mummy is mummy. Yet he treats the weekends with his mum as though she is the grandparent. Its all rather sad really. Yet always there is happiness as well. If we did not have our grandson then he would have gone into care. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
MrsMozartMkII · 26/09/2019 20:26

I can sort of understand the bittersweet emotions.

You're all very lucky to have each other.

BusyDoingNothingx · 26/09/2019 20:31

😢 you're a lovely grandparent and your grandson is lucky to have you both.

Soola · 26/09/2019 20:37

What could have been a dreadful situation has evolved to be a loving family for the lad even if it is an unconventional one.

Sounds like everyone has put him first and in doing so everyone’s life has been enriched.

We have something not quite the same going on but your post has swayed me to make a decision.

My stepdaughter has a young baby and her husband has an 8 year old son from his previous relationship.

The 8 year old’s mother has decided she no longer wants to have her son and he is now living with his father and my stepdaughter.

However, he works away during the week and is home for weekends. My step daughter works from home which is compatible with a young baby but not for getting the lad up and ready and taking him to school.

We have been asked if we would have him from bedtime to stay over night and then I would get him up and off to school just in school days.

I have not been sure how it would work out but you’ve inspired me so we will do a trial to see if it works out. My husband is fine with it but says it’s up to me to decide.

Roobaby141 · 26/09/2019 20:38

Thank you so much. Its difficult still my daughter has health issues and mental health problems. We try to be supportive of her and her partner who is lovely. The hurt comes because his little girl is 4 and she lives with her dad and my daughter. Her mummy passed away only a year ago so she is growing up calling my daughter mummy and my grandson although only 3 is beginning to understand that he does not live with his mum someone else does. My girl does not realise the pain and hurt all this is going to cause in the future all I want to do is to tell my grandson the truth and then help him come to terms with it. Hopefully one day this will be so. So thank you for your kind words

it means a great deal. I still am very blessed in what I have.

OP posts:
Roobaby141 · 26/09/2019 20:44

I'm so glad that you feel that way. I feel very humble. Having a child over whatever age is very difficult and can be quite exhausting. You will be providing some stability for the lad. Perhaps hes looking for grandparents to lean on and have fun with as well as the serious work of taking him to school. What I have learnt especially from my partner that we as grandparents have a wealth of knowledge and fun to impart to our grandson and I'm sure that you and your husband have too. Have a trial week or two. Tell the lad ask how he feels and for his imput. Its amazing what they say and think and feel. I think you are truly wonderful people to want to help and make your familys life easier. I wish you all the best and hope all goes well. You deserve every happiness.

OP posts:
Soola · 26/09/2019 20:58

Thank you Flowers

Thatsnotmymammoth · 26/09/2019 21:11

Roobaby and Soola you are both doing such a wonderful thing. Your family’s are so so lucky that you have stepped in to the huge role of being main caregivers to young children. I have very young DGC and I know how exhausting looking after them is. Truly amazing but bone breakingly knackering also. you have done your very best for them and are making a massive difference 💐💐.

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