Unhappy at school- moving schools?

[fruitypancake]

Has anyone experience of moving their child during primary school? After years of unhappiness and not fitting in we are considering this as an option

What year are they in?

I have just moved my 7 yr old but for us it was because we have moved, she has settled really well and for us it has been the right move.

Are you likely to get a place elsewhere? Maybe make some enquiries and see what you think.

We did but it was fortunate that a neighbouring school area had different transfer ages so we switched her at the beginning of that new school. The important thing is to work out what the issue is because if it's your dc who is struggling socially, a new school could be worse. We switched mostly because the head refused to follow the autism plan (in place since she was 5) because she claimed girls weren't autistic, she actually was dismissed prior to my dd leaving but the transfer was already planned. We tried for 2 years at that school, did no end of damage to my dd.

First of all, don't say anything to your child unless you're certain you're moving them And you have a place at another school. In some areas in Year admissions are as rare as hens teeth.
Phone the admissions in your LA to find out where they have places. Then phone those schools and arrange a visit. At my school we have a lot of coming and going, because families move around a lot (most are renters). When we get requests for places, as Senco I often contact their current school to check if there are any additional needs we need to take account of, so if the child has an EHCP for instance, we can see if we would need an additional TA for support. Most of the time, the current school have no idea there's an issue, but also, they often say that the family want things for their child that is not reasonable, necessary or even possible.
Settling a child in mid year is always tricky, but not impossible. However, you've said your child doesn't fit in. What makes you think they will fit in better elsewhere? Sometimes, changing schools can be the worst thing for the child, and once parents realise they want their old place back but it's usually already filled.
My advice to you is, arrange a meeting with the current Head to see if you can't sort out the issues first.

Thank you soontobe60 for your advice, a very tricky situation. It feels like he is 'bottom of the pile' and often excluded/isolated by his peers. He is a sociable, fun and sporty little boy but can be prone to volatility and as such behaviour can be unpredictable and others then don't want to be around him and I can understand why but it's a cycle we can't seem to break. They are mean, he reacts badly, he gets in to trouble and while situation worse, rinse and repeat

As a pp has said I would be reluctant to move him for purely social reasons. Most families I know who have done this did not find the next school any better as basically the issue moved with the child. A friend of mine got to the point where as soon as her DD mentioned anything about people being mean or not having a close friend it was on to the next school. At 17 now she is a sweet girl but basically lacking in a proper education.

We moved DS1 at the start of Y5 when he came home saying his new teacher "put all us thick kids on the same table". He was assessed as profoundly dyslexic at his new school and I still find it hard to forgive his original school for letting him down so badly. Long story short I would say if you are unhappy with how your school deals with concerns you raise about your child or dismisses them I would consider a change, but getting him involved in some activities outside school that he is good at could boost his confidence and help him make friends which might be enough. Good luck.

I moved my year 2 dc after a serious incident of bullying and the schools answers was to give the child (who repeatedly kicked my child) a loss of golden time...it was a serious assault which resulted in a hospital visit and the police being informed.

We had years of low levels bullying all brushed under the carpet by the school until that last incident.

It happened on a Thursday - phoned all prospective new schools on the Friday viewed some that afternoon and another on the Monday, children started the new school on the Tuesday. It was very quick and very simple. The new school sorted out everything to do with the Lea, I just signed some paperwork.

The difference in my child is amazing, we were told by the old school that dc would fail the year 2 Sats, that even though it was alleged that my dc was 12–18 months behind nothing has been put in place to catch up as dc didn’t meet the criteria for help yet

Well guess what dc passed the Sats - has now caught up with others in the same year. Dc is happy, confident, loves school, is starting to learn that friends do NOT hurt you, they help and play with you, and has come on in such I way I wish I’d moved sooner, the school are helping and supporting us to help her at home, as dc May have dyspraxia they have started the ball rolling with assessment etc. The new school have managed to unpick all the cock ups of the old school and teach dc how to approach things differently.

Id start with phoning the Lea and see how you do an in year application if your serious.

My DC go to a really small village school (fewer than 40 children in the whole school) and usually 1-2 children a year join from other schools, generally for bullying reasons. They always settle in well and the parents repeatedly say what a difference it has made in their child (like LittleGin above) - but I totally appreciate that there may not be a smaller school in your area.

In the opposite of Wingdefence we moved from a small village school to get away from persistent bullying (of lots of children by one child) that wasn't handled. It took me a long time to realise how bad things really were, and I regret not being pushier with the school much sooner.

Before deciding to leave, we tried: meetings with the teacher, general friendship strategies for my own child, meetings with the head, joining activities out of school to boost confidence...but as sanctions for the bully at school were ineffective, and there seemed to be no answer for what to do as the bully's behaviour escalated further and further - I moved my child at the end of Y2.

They are in a school double the size now and I was anxious about that, but I asked my child how it was going a few weeks in, and they said "amazing! I don't have to worry every day about who's going to be hit today."

No school is a perfect fit, and sometimes you do need a fresh start to get away from being typecast - but if the issues were purely "social" rather than bullying, I think I would try things like scouts etc first, to practice friendship skills in a new environment (ideally find a group with no kids from the same school). Does the current school have anything like a nurture group or a group that helps children build interpersonal skills? Or a buddy scheme to help with unstructured times like playtime?

Bear in mind they may all end up back together in secondary

My worry would be that unless his behaviours and interactions change then the pattern will simply repeat at a new school.

Some children need help to understand how to interact with others, it doesn't just come naturally. A lot of talking and exploring and some role play of different situations can be helpful.

Unfortunately changing schools won't change this - I would take him to a councillor to learn coping mechanisms in the playground x

@boringisasboringdoes I really worried about that, so moved them to another lea in another county - so the chances of dc meeting their bully at secondary is very very slim, and will cross that bridge if it ever happens

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond and share your own stories. Lovely to hear of some successes. I did phone the LEA today and it sounds like all the local schools are oversubscribed in his year group/ it does seem to be a 'bulge' cohort. This of course means that moving him may not be an option anyway