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Original poster

At end of tether with 7yo DS wetting during the day

17 replies

awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 16:40

I'm getting really down about this now and it's stressful for both my DS and the whole family.

A bit of background... Sorry this is long.

DS7, since around August, has been wetting during the day. And it's been getting worse. Yesterday he wet himself 5 or 6 times between the hours of 3.30 and 7pm. He says he doesn't feel it coming out. But then also said he likes the feel of the warmth when it comes out Confused. And he seems to find it funny that his classmates can smell the wee but doesn't know who has wet themselves(?!).

I've taken him to the doctor and had his urine tested, all clear. I've been to school nurse who set up a plan... More fluids during the day and more fiber so that his constipation can be ruled out as a reason for wetting, and his bladder can gain strength with the amount of fluid. Did all that and he no longer has constipation but he is still wetting.

Also he has never been dry at night. This isn't something that worries or phases me and have tried weaning him off bedtime pants a few times, with no luck. The school nurse doesn't think the daytime and bedtime wetting are linked but who knows.

He has been referred to a eurolgy clinic but that could take weeks. I'm not usually a stress head but this is really getting to me. The amount of showering and washing. The constant reek of urine. It's really getting me down

Please, if anyone can help. I'd appreciate any thoughts. Sorry if this is garbled, I don't have time to read it through. X

OP posts:
Lulualla · 25/09/2019 16:45

It seemed like you're only looking for a medical reason for it. It could absolutely be medical, but you say he seems to enjoy it/find it funny. Is there a chance that it is deliberate? Have you thought about taking him to a child psychologist (can you afford it)?

CottonSock · 25/09/2019 16:48

Eric charity helpline may be able to advise.
My dd sees a childhood continence service (for a different issue). We had to wait a year.
I'd be pushing this and returning to gp as it's so sudden.

Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 16:50

I wanted to rule out medical, which I think I've done

But yes it may well be behavioural or emotional

We have had quite a year. I've had his dad (my ex) in court because ds was saying his dad was hitting him and calling him names. Social services were involved. It's all come to an end now (I hope) with ds saying his dad no longer hits or calls him names.

But who knows. I am so stressed out thinking it might be because of all of that.

But then I also think it might be deliberate because he gets a lot of attention from me when he wets.

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Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 16:51

Will look into it, cottonsock

OP posts:
CottonSock · 25/09/2019 16:58

Here is a link
www.eric.org.uk/guide-to-childrens-daytime-bladder-problems

wheresmyhairytoe · 25/09/2019 17:00

I'd remove all attention. He can change himself and wipe himself down, no conversation or comments. He can then put his stuff in the wash.
Make it very uninteresting for him.

wheresmyhairytoe · 25/09/2019 17:01

Lots of attention for positive things.

Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 17:04

Hairytoe exactly what I thought last night after he said he thought it felt nice.

So today he has had 2 showers, on his own, and had to get dressed in his own. I haven't helped him at all.

At this moment in time he is crying like as if I've killed his best friend. He doesn't like the game change at all.

My head is wrecked but I'm trying to ignore the behaviour

OP posts:
Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 17:07

What's worse is we are at my mums house and she can't bear to see him cry so even though I've asked her not to, she is giving him lots of attention as he's crying for her.

I'm just exhausted with it all

OP posts:
Lulualla · 25/09/2019 17:08

My 7 year old started wetting himself when his dad showed up after 5 years of no contact. The wetting lasted for 2 months, but everytime he did it, he would go straight to the bathroom, take off all the wet clothes and then shout on me to ask if he could have a shower. Very luckily for us it happened during the summer holidays so I don't know how he would have behaved at school but at home, he didn't want attention. He just wanted to clean it up and get changed and move on.
If your son is actively angry and upset because you're now not giving attention then it does sound like it's linked to emotions. Have you asked if anything has been upsetting him or making him anxious? Maybe try some gently probing questions to find out how he is feeling in general.

Lalallama · 25/09/2019 17:15

OP I completely feel your pain, we have gone through very similar and the endless washing, checking for wee, toilet reminders, etc. is exhausting.

My DS's is caused by a medical issue so it may be different to your DS, but it was all down to constipation. He was pooing regularly so we thought all was fine, but it eventually took the urologist referring him for a bowel xray to see that he was completely blocked up, and the poos he had been doing were just seeping round it. This was putting pressure on his bladder and making him wet himself, sometimes without knowing it was about to happen.

If it is medical he could be joking about it to hide his embarrassment. Or because of the recent situation with his dad I guess it could be more of an emotional thing.

I hope you get it sorted, it's so stressful. Flowers

Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 17:17

Lulu... Thank you. Yes he doesn't like this game change. I asked him if anything was bothering him, he said no. I've asked a couple of times. But he seems totally okay.

I'm not sure whether he doesn't tell me anything anymore because the last time he told me what was on his mind (his dad hitting him)... His dad "got into trouble"

Maybe he just doesn't want to tell me stuff anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 17:20

Lala... Actually when you say that, it cousl be the same for my ds. He won't go for a poo for a couple of days but then when he does its HUGE. Like, I don't know how that came out of his tiny bottom MASSIVE. and sometimes he has little nuggets in his pants. Maybe he is still consipated.

I really hope it is this. Because if its emotional I will be pretty devastated

OP posts:
CottonSock · 25/09/2019 17:24

Bits of poo in pants is often poo overflow needing treatment with laxatives. I have much experience of this with dd.
The poo nurses explain it perfectly

www.thepoonurses.uk/

Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 17:33

Thank you will have a look x

OP posts:
CottonSock · 25/09/2019 18:36

It has a name, encopresis and enuresis. Might help you find more info. Good luck.

Original poster
awellawellawellaooff · 25/09/2019 19:47

Have had a look, thank you.

I left him alone for the rest of the evening. I'm sick of reminding him to go to the toilet or asking him if he's wet. And he's sick of it too.

So before bed I checked him, saw he was wet and he went and got a shower alone, albiet reluctantly. Didn't make a deal of it.

My mum is putting him down and I am getting a bath. I could murder a wine but I'm not drinking atm!!

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