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Is Sock Hill the hill I want to die on?

40 replies

SocksGate · 25/09/2019 16:02

DS started secondary school this month and last week he told me he needed socks with rubber on the soles for drama or he would get detention.

I have a pair of slipper socks that are just thick socks with rubber on the soles so I gave him those to wear today.

He came home upset saying he has a 30 minute detention tomorrow because the socks were "wrong."

Should I complain to the school that a 30 minute detention when he had brought in something that was, to the best of his knowledge, what was requested is very harsh?

Or should he just quietly do the detention and we put it behind us? Although that will probably mean another detention next week as I won't be able to go shopping for socks before his next drama lesson as I'll be working.

Will I be THAT parent if I complain?

DS says a lot of children in the class got detentions because they didn't bring in any socks with rubber on the soles.

OP posts:
Coffeeandchocolate9 · 25/09/2019 16:05

Why aren't the socks acceptable to the drama teacher? I think that's what you need to find out first.

If they are not okay and you understand what is needed, then us easy enough to order something from Amazon with no no pun intended drama

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 25/09/2019 16:08

Why were they wrong, and what would be right? Because I'd have sent slipper socks too.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 25/09/2019 16:08

I think I would complain unless the school gave specific instructions as to the exact acceptible socks in written form.

I attended a british forces school abroad for a while and they had very specific uniform requirements for virtually all circumstances you can imagine and punishments for not complying but parents were given a clear and concise list before school started.

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Saucery · 25/09/2019 16:10

In the absence of clearer instructions as to the exact Sock they wanted I’d definitely be having a small skirmish at the foot of Sock Hill over that.

TokyoSushi · 25/09/2019 16:12

I'm usually very much on the side of don't be 'that parent'

However I'd definitely enquire exactly what the 'right socks' are as what you sent sounds absolutely fine.

longestlurkerever · 25/09/2019 16:14

Oh OP sympathies! I remember this from my school days. Dsis did PR in my red football socks but the uniform had changed to black. Dsis got detention in her first week. My DF told her just not to go. I have no recollection of what the upshot was but still think sock-based detentions are ridiculous and this sort of shite the kind of thing that puts kids off sport for years. I think i am leaning towards just doing the detention being less aggro for your ds from this point on though- but it is still shite.

MyCatsHat · 25/09/2019 16:14

God I hate teachers / schools like this. How the hell do they expect to get kids' respect if they punish them when they couldn't help it? Angry

I wouldn't fight to the death on sock hill but I would send a letter pointing out the unfairness of a detention when you provided what was asked for. And suggest if they need something specific they inform you of the exact details.

SocksGate · 25/09/2019 16:16

There's no mention of special socks for drama in the uniform list.

DS says the teacher just said socks with rubber on the soles so they don't slip, which is what my slipper socks are.

OP posts:
birdsdestiny · 25/09/2019 16:17

I think they mean yoga/Pilates socks. I wouldn't die on sock hill but I think I would talk to ds about unfair rules.

Whyhaveidonethis · 25/09/2019 16:19

Things like this piss me right off and 100% would I fight on Sock Hill for it. My sons school do shite like this. It's ridiculous. I am strongly of the opinion that if. A child turns uupp willing and prepared too learn, ass long as they aren't completely unacceptablely dressed the school have a bloody duty to teach them. Not give ridiculous detentions for bullshit reasons. This is why they now isolate kids, and exclude them. Detentions used to be a scary thing, now they dish teem out like bloody smarties

GummyGoddess · 25/09/2019 16:21

I would probably also enquire and double check the uniform specs. If they aren't listed then I would insist that the detention wasn't necessary. If they are listed then I'd suck it up as it was an oversight.

frogsoup · 25/09/2019 16:25

Small skirmish at the foot of sock hill sounds right to me, escalating to a to-the-death battle if it turns out that the school are inclined to draw swords on this. Detentions for unclear rules unwittingly transgressed is how schools lose the respect of otherwise well-behaved children - you do have to wonder what kind of moron first came up with this kind of disciplinary policy. It seems distressingly common in schools these days.

SocksGate · 25/09/2019 16:25

I wouldn't mind so much if the teacher just told him the socks were wrong and to bring a different pair next week.

It's just the 30 minute detention when he (and I) had no reason to believe he wasn't fulfilling the teacher's request.

I think I'll send a polite email to the school.

OP posts:
nevergotthehangofthursdays · 25/09/2019 16:28

I think, TBH, the way to fight this sort of crap is mass disobedience, along the lines of Non Violent Resistance, backed up with parental petitions. Someone has to force the SLT to consider other minor things, like education, results, safety, along with the stuff that's essential to life, like the right point on the leg at which a skirt should stop and the exact shade of grey in the blazer.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 25/09/2019 16:29

Has he completed the detention. I would write the very polite email informing them that you are displeased that this was not on the uniform list, that this was communicated late and that regardless of them being wrong as an effort was clearly made the teacher shouldn't have been such a twat. And finally he will not be attending the detention.

tryingoutgreyhair · 25/09/2019 16:34

You'll have to say something if you still don't know what sort of socks they mean

SocksGate · 25/09/2019 16:52

Thanks everyone for replying.

Can I just tell the school he won't be attending the detention (along with the reasons why of course)?

Would there be likely more repercussions for him if he doesn't attend?

OP posts:
tryingoutgreyhair · 25/09/2019 17:07

I'd let him do the detention in solidarity with his mates. Half an hour won't kill him and the teacher won't want to appear weak on sock hill and retreat. But I'd complain about the poor communication

OkayGo · 25/09/2019 17:10

I would be asking the school how they expect you to know what they want him to wear if they do not tell you properly. You sent him in what sounds to be perfectly acceptable socks. I wouldn’t be telling him to do the detention either.

RedSheep73 · 25/09/2019 17:13

I would definitely push back at the school over that. If the parents have had no guidance about what is acceptable, how can they be expected to comply? and why should the children be punished for it? Discipline is fine, but this isn't discipline, it's not teaching anyone anything.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 25/09/2019 17:29

I think I'd probably skirmish on Sock Hill too personally. I just can't stand schools that give out punishments like this over something so pointless, and that is a result of their poor communication. Especially in S1. Not a great way to endear them to their new school.

TimeforanotherChange · 25/09/2019 17:34

I would email asking for 'clarification' as to whether he is expected to do this 30 minute detention, given that you had sent in what you genuinely believed to be correct, rubber soled socks.

I'd point out the lack of clarity on what these were, explain the problem with work, state that you are very willing to provide the correct socks as soon as you are able - could they email a picture or link of them - and again ask whether they feel the detention is warranted given the confusion it seems to have engendered amongst his classmates.

AllStarBySmashMouth · 25/09/2019 17:35

Reminds me of the time I got detention for telling my Home Ec teacher she didn't return my homework book. She told me I must not have handed it in, and as such didn't do the homework. A week later I still hadn't handed it in as she still had the workbook, and she was all prepared to give me another detention when she finally found the book in her desk where it had been for a fortnight.

Schools are ridiculous sometimes.

Frlrlrubert · 25/09/2019 17:38

Definitely contact school. If he just doesn't go to the detention the sanctions will escalate.

I'd skirmish at the foot of sock hill and I'm a teacher.

You can't expect kids to bring the correct equipment if you're not specific enough.

Just be prepared to discover that he was given some sort of clear instruction that got lost in translation though.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 25/09/2019 17:39

Loving the "small skirmish at the foot of Sock Hill" Grin

Bollocks like this is why home education seems so attractive, but would that be seen as a tactical retreat, possibly surrender?

You should definitely advance on Sock Hill though. Perhaps a small peace summit might resolve the issue? If not, lots of MNers will hold your coat Grin