When do you do your housework ?

[ScrubDubdub]

I’m a stay at home mum baby is 8 months.

He can only sit up against a boppy cushion so I can’t take him with me (wooden floors and would hit head) so I tend to do housework while he’s having a nap or in the evening when DH comes home.

If I’m being lazy and i sit with him while on the floor or I do some while he is playing he will happily play for ages and I’m embarrassed to say does like the TV

But leaving him to play alone (he will be an only, he was concieved after 14 years and traumatic birth/NICU stay) seems a bit cruel ...

Am I being silly? I never get evening time with baby and DH as a family apart from meals as im doing housework

What does everyone else do?

I follow TOMM so housework only takes around 30-45 mins a day. You could do this at nap time or when baby is in high chair or playpen. Or just bring a playmat into whichever room you're cleaning and let them play on the floor.

Much easier to break cleaning into small short chunks when they're that age!

I had a playpen and used to chuck DS in it in the kitchen when I needed to do stuff. If your doing stuff like scrubbing your skirting boards every day then stop it right now. I used to have 1 hour a day doing chores and cooking and if it didn’t fit in that time frame it could bugger off. A slow cooker or prep and throw in the oven meals are your friend. DS and I had a baby group and used to have lunch out at least twice a week. He still loves eating out. I also did a course when on ML, it was only two hours a week and used to got to the gym for an hour a week and DS got went in the crèche.

As long as they are safe you can run about doing bits and bobs. It sound like your anxious due to your very difficult fertility journey.

Many couples end up accidentally neglecting their relationship when they have dc due to time constraints. Just sitting watching tv together and laughing at absolute trash or getting enraged together when Boris or Trump are on the news is actually relationship glue that we are often unaware of.

Congratulations on being a Mum, let standards slip a little and enjoy your little one. I gave up ironing, what a time saver that was.

Mine are older now but I just used to pop them on a playmat on the floor whilst I dusted/cleaned the kitchen etc. Or in the high chair with a few toys to play with. You can clean sink/toilet etc whilst they're in the bath.

Seconding TeamTOMM.
Don't feel bad about him playing alone, if he gets fed up he will soon let you know!
It's good for children to learn to entertain themselves.

Thanks both, yes anxious totally

He had reflux and I literally held him from 7am - 10pm even for naps etc, July I said to myself I’d get out more (no more delicate tiny baby ) and then the baby groups started

I don’t scrub skirting boards daily tank god, I would if I could.

Mainly keeping kitchen tidy, washing muslins and baby clothes and ours, hoovering etc

I went to a wedding recently and a woman of about 80 said she was told housework more important than baby (needs met then baby cries) so I’ve got this warped sense of neglect when he’s happy playing alone!

In the NICU (term baby just infection) I felt so weirded out by the wires and I felt so ill I didn’t hold him much and I’ve never lost that sense of separation

This is a lot more than housework but I have gone through my birth notes and have to move on !

I would do a bit when mine were sleeping. But I also often did some work when they were sleeping, or just sat down and drank my coffee while it was still hot! I could get some things done, like putting wash on or starting dinner, with them sitting in the bouncer or playing on the floor next to me. It was a bit easier with #2 as #1 could entertain him for 5 minutes so I could chop some veg.

But my job when I was at home was to take care of our children. Housework was a shared responsibility, just like it is when we're both working. I got a bit done during the day, but things like washing up, cleaning bathrooms, putting away clothes (needing to go up and down the stairs a lot) always gets done evenings and weekends when there are two of us here to tackle things. It's much faster to take 5 minutes in the evening to put away clothes than 30 minutes trying to fight with a 2 year old while doing it.

My babies weren't big nappers (20 cat-nap in the buggy or on me usually) so I just did my best to keep on top of daily jobs (washing up, washing, cooking, general tidying/wiping etc.) whilst they were with me - on a blanket on the floor, in the cot with a few toys, carrying them on one hip...
Usually did proper cleaning (toilets, sinks, floors etc) at the weekends when DP was around.
You don't need to ignore baby when doing jobs. Tell him what you're doing, chat to him, sing, put on music. It's not neglect, it's just doing life stuff together :)

This all makes sense.

I’ve got a bit of an awkward house too, 3 levels on a hill but I’m a bit thick really, instead of folding laundry in the top room, I’ll bring it down and do it in the dining room.

This is honestly how mushed my baby brain is!

I want to wake up now though, hence the thread

And yes to life stuff, he’s a man I want him to know how to do these house tasks !!

Also using TOMM (the organised mum method), it’s working pretty well with a 3 month old baby although some days it just doesn’t happen and I’ve learned to let it go and drop my standards a little bit.

I think you're being a bit precious but I can see your reasons.
I used a jumperoo, door bouncer or highchair for half an hour when i needed to get stuff done.
We had stone and wooden floors throughout and I either put mine propped with cushions or laying on the floor on a rug, in a playpen/travel cot, in a box/washing up basket with toys. On the bed. In a sling if needed.
At 8 months they should be ok alone for 10 mins in a babyproof environment like their gated bedroom.
Also very late in not sitting up?
Plus only do the bare minimum as you go, you can wipe round the sink after your teeth, wipe the bathroom while they're in the bath (support seat etc).

He can sit up but not without sometimes falling backwards

Also anything he needs to slip legs into, he just frogs them up and I have trouble holding him and stretching his 2 legs into a jumperoo. I was so upset to buy one and can’t use it alone !

It's actually good for them to play alone sometimes rather than you stimulating. As long as he's happy playing no reason not to crack on with the housework.

First thing on a morning.
I used to sit them in their bouncer while I hoovered, mopped etc.
I used to put the laundry in to be washing last thing at night so I could put it straight out on a morning, or put it through the dryer, weather depending.
I would do a room each day after doing the basics in the other rooms.
So for example, the bathroom would be thoroughly cleaned on a Mon, the bedroom on a Tues, the dining room on a weds and so on. The window of the room i was cleaning would be cleaned too, rather than doing them all in one go.
On a weekend I didn't do anything apart from the basics.
You soon get into a routine with it.

I just moved baby around the house with me whilst doing housework. If not able to sit consistently then he was on his front or back. Do the bare minimum housework! Also used a sling at times.

I thought all kids did that frog leg thing, can't say it ever stopped me from putting them in shopping trolleys, jumperoo etc, when they start arching their back or being a spider kid are you going to just give up going out because you can't get them in the car seat or pushchair?
Falling over is a natural part oflearning about their balance, they won't get better if they're constantly propped on pillows. A nice rug or thick blanket on a wooden floor is plenty protection that they won't do any damage from a sitting topple.
I do think it's time to pull up your big girl pants and think about just gettin on with it.

If your brain is such a fog that you can't problem solve some minor issues with easy remedies then you may want to speak to your GP?