It's my birthday today and I have never felt so miserable in all my life

[thecatsarecrazy]

I've been feeling pretty low for a week. I started the pill 2 weeks ago on the hope of lighter periods but I'm ready to toss them.
I've been in tears every day this week. My husband has gone to work without saying happy birthday. He never gives me a card until the evening anyway. Kids gone to school just me and my toddler. Had a text off half brother and aunty. I'm 38 and honestly just feel so sad right now.

My Dh and whole family are shit at birthdays. Dh once gave me an out of date packet of biscuits from the corner shop for my present. (He’s lovely in other ways, just doesn’t think adult birthdays are a big deal).

So now I take matters into my own hands. As others have said, be responsible for your own happiness.

This year I threw myself a big party; invited half the village, got caterers in and ordered a shitload of fizz from Majestic. Decorated the garden with fairy lights, borrowed some outdoor speakers and had a blast. It was a brilliant birthday.

Ditch the pill.
Get out and go for a walk and get brunch.
The pill made me a wreck. It really doesn't suit some people. Don't persevere with it.

Happy birthday! Take your toddler out with you this morning somewhere nice. Don't cook and do something whilst toddler is in preschool ♥️

The pill wrecked havoc with my emotions and I also cried everyday, it was the most miserable time of my life. I'd speak to your gp to see if there's anything else you can try instead

Happy Birthday! Order a take away tonight, go out for a piece of cake and have it all to yourself!

Happy birthday OP

I'm with the pp who talked about lists. I have several on the go, places to visit, films to see, books to read, priorities for the month which is a list of nice things I want to experience/buy/ achieve etc then tick off the things as you go. Putting the responsibility for your happiness onto someone else is a slippery slope but I agree it's shitty when it's your birthday or a special day. Do sth nice for you a d when it's their birthday dish out the same.

I'm sorry you're having a miserable birthday.
But the day is young yet! I agree with the posters advising you to go for a coffee and a lovely cake and a magazine. If you have any friends locally, meet one /some of them for the coffee. Buy yourself a lovely bunch of supermarket flowers and put them where you will see them regularly. I love to have flowers in the bedroom on my bedside table, feels indulgent.

Buy a cake and put candles on it and have a tea party with dc when they're home - they LOVE this!

Given that it's a midweek day I would plan a very nice dinner - steak etc and a glass of wine for later. Or your favourite takeaway for dinner if cooking is not your idea of a treat. Start to spoil yourself and I also agree with the poster who said make a list of lovely things to do / achieve in the coming 12 months.

When dh gets home from work, run yourself a bath or a hot shower while he supervises the dc homework / bath / bed routine. Take some time out for yourself.

Then have a movie / box set lined up for when they are in bed.

And tell your dh that at the weekend you would like to go out for breakfast or lunch or dinner -whatever works best.

We don't always spend a lot of money on each other's birthdays but we do have a rule of infallibility for 24 hours for the birthday person - they are the focus for that day and night and we spoil them with small indulgences. It really works to make you feel loved! And mostly it just takes thought - a favourite dinner, run a bubble bath, pour a nice glass of wine etc

I hope your day perks up!

Instead of focusing on today, why not give yourself a birthday month? Or even two?

Give yourself a treat every day and start to prioritise your happiness.

Happy Birthday! (I would send flowers but I'd probably get the whole bracket thing wrong and send you two square brackets and an unreadable word).

Echoling the others. It's probably the pill making you feel wretched. Sometimes it helps to know that it's nothing 'external', just some stupid chemicals fudging your brain. Why not do something 'new' today, for the first time? While your toddler is at preschool, go in to a shop you've not been in before (probably not an ironmongers, unless you really like screws and nails) or walk down a different street. That way, this birthday will always be 'the day I did X for the first time'.

Doesn't have to be anything amazing, just a new thing. Or try a new drink or a new food - even if you hate it, at least you will know in future!

And be kind to yourself. Feet up later, crappy TV and a bun.

Thank you everyone you have all been so kind. I think it's the pill making everything seem 10 times worse. I will have some me time later and not spend the free few hours cleaning.

The pill gives me depression.
You have my full sympathies.

Happy birthday OP

Hope the day gets better!

Happy Birthday! Its mine as well and Birthdays are just poo! My husband managed to say happy Birthday but that's it not even a card from the baby!
While your toddler is a pre school enjoy a nice treat with your coffee!
Hope your days gets better x

I buy myself a good book and a box of chocolates every year on my birthday, then spend a couple of hours on my own eating the chocs and reading the book. I have done it for the last 13 years. Anything else I get from anyone else is a bonus!

Happy Birthday OP!

Sounds like your DH just needs a little help in this department! Don't get huffy about it, most just need and appreciate tips. I'd text him now and say you're looking forward to a little celebration tonight, maybe he could pick up some lovely bits from m&s / Tesco's / wherever and a bottle of fizz and you watch your choice of film. And tell him to buy something silly for pudding. Just to get him thinking...

Happy birthday!

I agree with everyone else about changing your pill and do something for yourself today.
Buy yourself a gift, get a cake to share with your kids after school.

Hey Happy Birthday OP!!

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

I hope you've been doing something you enjoy today and have a decent evening. X