Opinions please on changing ds’ school

[LukeSkywalkerHood]

Hi all

Ds is in year 4 of primary. From the off we weren’t terribly happy with the school but we didn’t know any different and kept trying to make the best of it.

They made multiplemistakes over not giving him his medicines and asthma inhaler, and it took a long time and a very strong complaint before they dealt with a violent ADHD boy who made ds’ life a misery. The kids in his class are a very odd mix as well, there aren’t many boys and the few that there are are not great company for him apart from one or two. The last straw was that a few of them have been telling him to look up porn online and have been endlessly talking about who they want to have sex with. One of them also has been ‘humping’ various objects around the school. We know a bit about some of these kids and their parents, there has been SS involvement and being expelled from other schools going on.

The one concern we have about moving him is that he is an extremely sensitive and anxious boy who struggles with a stammer and gets very stressed about change.

But maybe it’d be best to move him.

Your thoughts please oh wise people.

You know him best ...
Is the current level of stress over the next nearly 3 years going to be worse than the stress of moving?
Is there another school nearby with places available?

Yes there is, a good one. Little village school, one form entry. It all depends on how he settles into new surroundings, which is an unknown. He always resists change (even days out apply to that) but ends up ok pretty quick. It’s just not certain if this would be the same.

Could you take him to look around and see what he thinks? Current place sounds far from ideal.

Yes we are taking him tomorrow.

That’s a good place to start, I think. If he likes it and is enthusiastic, you can slowly build on that, pointing out that he will be away from the boy who bullied him etc. Do you know anyone at the little school? Could you arrange a play date with someone from the potential new class?

Most schools do taster days so he could go and see how he gets on. The school he's in now though I would definitely move him. It sounds awful and that sort of behaviour is not standard for that age group (I have 3 boys).

He went to preschool with a boy who is at the school, I lost touch with the mum a year ago but I’ve just texted her today. That’s a good idea about getting them together.

Yr4 and talking about sex??!! DS2 has just started yr4 and doesn't even know what sex is yet! And he still believes in Father Christmas! This is depressing.

At this age I would be flagging up the porn / sex chat to the designated safeguarding person at school.

My year 4 boy has just started at a one form entry village schools after attending our local massive and very rough primary - he found it really stressful but has settled in fairly quick. He's really behind though, because the teaching in the old school was, it transpires, as poor as their behaviour management. Best to move him I think. He sounds miserable where he is.

@PhilomenaButterfly I know!

@MyOtherProfile that’s a good point, I’ll do that. The school are fucking useless though and take nothing seriously so doubt it’ll come to much.

@Dljlr that’s good to hear. Yes I suspect our school isn’t great in the teaching front either- for example homework is all over the place, in year 2 he had about 2 hours a week, in year 3 he had virtually none, and this year it’s about fifteen mins.

Told ds we are going to look at a school tomorrow am and he immediately said ‘no I don’t want to go to another school’ and got tearful about not seeing one his friends, but for some reason he doesn’t play with that friend much in the playground anyway, and he can certainly come and play anytime.

I’m having a major panic freakout today over the possibility of moving him and him hating the new school.

Porn in Y4. This is terrifying. I’d pull my child out without thinking. Sounds like a horrendous place for your dc.

Hope the visit goes well. Agree you need to notify current school's safeguarding lead; there should be a named safeguarding governor too. You could also register it on Parentview if you are not satisfied with the response. Ofsted are big on safeguarding at the moment.