I've done something stupid...

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I've applied for and paid a deposit for and signed a credit agreement for an A Level Maths course. I was sleep deprived, ill and possibly delirious. I should not have been left unsupervised with internet access.

I took my maths GCSE three times. The first time I got an E, the second time I got a D, the third time I was sick of maths and finally realised study was my only way out. I managed a B. My tutor was just as surprised as I was. I was predicted another D.

I decided this was a fluke and convinced myself I was bad at maths and have avoided the subject ever since going on my merry way doing non-math related jobs and education.

In my sleep deprived, delirious state I decided I wanted to do a computer science degree because I like money and computer people make lots of it. I'm not mad about that decision. I quite like computers and tecchy things and understand the basics of networking and coding and programming. To get a Computer Science degree you need to math which I can't.

My sleep deprived brain thought the solution to this bump on my path to become a computer science millionaire would be to apply to and pay for A Level maths.

I'm less than 30 minutes into the first web class and I'm on BBC Bitesize going over key stage three work trying to make sense of it. I think I now understand how to expand single brackets and multiply positive and negative numbers but I'm not sure that I understand why -5 X -2 = 10. I just know it does because the YouTube video with pretty drawings told me it does.

My dilemma is do I continue with the course because I really would quite like a computer science degree or I do I hope and pray there is a cooling off period and phone ICS Learn and beg for a refund?

I don't need a certain grade to continue my plan of becoming a cyber security analyst but I do need to feel confident about math which atm I don't.

Go you!

Please forgive me, but I suspect your main challenges are a combination of over-thinking (‘what do I say to people’) and a lack of self confidence. How many people would have the courage to change sector, industry, role, everything, to follow a dream? You are epic.

Your hair is neither too purple nor not purple enough. It’s just your hair. No one is going to care too much either way. If anything, the purple is a good look, and might counter balance any unintentional age bias, for example. Makeup and outfit sound spot on for a job interview. Always good to have a few questions, so in addition, you could ask about on the job training, development opportunities, special projects, aligned areas of interest. Maybe find out what any previous people have gone on to do/achieve? Ask what they are looking for from new colleagues. Maybe a question about organisational culture?

Hope that helps. Mainly, good luck and go for it! And please let us know how it goes

I haven't got time to un-purple it so do I just go more purple anyway to make myself appear groomed?

Yes! Purple hair is awesome.

Your whole attitude is awesome, OP - I love that you just went for the maths A level when sleep deprived and delirious you're really pushing yourself and going for it - so don't let your pangs of lack of self confidence hold you back. Be yourself, show the positive, humorous person you clearly are from writing this thread, and I don't know - google "good questions to ask at apprenticeship interviews" or something

Good luck.