I need a bit of a moan.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I am knackered - I can’t remember the last time I went to bed and fell asleep without tossing and turning for hours - I have tried so many things but nothing works.

I’m on steroids, for lymphocytic colitis, and they have made me pile on the weight, so my mobility is really limited.

Dh is working away from home a lot - and usually I cope OK with this, but not today. I thought he was heading off to London tomorrow, but he went tonight, and will not be back until Wednesday night - maybe Thursday night.

Finally, the dog needs to go to the vet hospital - she has some neurological problem (maybe a slipped disc) that is making her lose control of her back end sometimes, and has taken away her mobility - she used to love long walks but just can’t manage them any more. Her appointment is tomorrow morning, and I think they are going to want to admit her to do an MRI under anaesthetic - so I will either have to wait around there, or come home and go back.

None of this is the end of the world, and people cope with much more on a daily basis - but I just want to curl up in a corner and cry, because I don’t want to have to cope with any of it.

I will - I just need a moan.

Sorry.

Sort you are going through a bad time and hope things will improve soon.

Magnesium supplement may help you with sleeping but check first if you are on medication.

I did try magnesium for a month or more, but it didn’t help. I’ve also tried melatonin (for 4 months), lavender, pillow sprays, hot milky drinks, mindful breathing, meditation and sleeping tablets (over the counter and prescribed). The OOC sleeping tablets are very hit and miss - the last time I took one, it took me until 5am to get to sleep - a good 2.5 hours worse than normal. Prescribed sleeping tablets do help a bit, but the GP will only give me a few days’ worth - which I completely accept. We did hope that a few days of decent sleep, and falling asleep at a sensible time might knock me back into a sensible sleeping pattern, but no joy.

I am even considering staying up all night one night, and the following day, in the hopes that, by bedtime on the second night, I would be tired enough to sleep.

I am just feeling very sorry for myself. I can generally cope, even with the poor sleep, but it is precarious - it only takes a little thing to knock me off course - like dh going away unexpectedly, or having to take the dog to the vet hospital.

Sorry to be so wet.

Tiredness is an absolute killer, I completely lose my ability to cope after a bad run. You might have tried it, but when I'm bad I lie in bed, ready to sleep but with a podcast or audiobook playing low beside me. It helps distract me from the I'll-never-sleep-again panic and at even if I don't sleep helps me feel a bit more rested.

Hope your dog is ok and you are too. Mind yourself.

Well - the news from the vet hospital was mixed. They think the dog might have a slipped disc, but she also has arthritis in both knees (she’s previously had surgery on them for ruptured cruciates), and fluid in the joints too, so they think her mobility problems might well be due to this, rather than something neurological.

She has got 4 sessions of physio booked, and they hope that will make her knees more comfortable, and will help her regain the muscle she has lost on her back legs, and that this will all make her more mobile.

They will reassess her after the physio, and if there’s been no improvement, they will do an MRI to look for prolapsed discs. If she has got a prolapsed disc that is causing her issues, she could have surgery, but if it is more than one disc, they can’t operate, apparently.

I am glad she doesn’t need surgery yet - although it will be a faff getting her to her physio. It was a heck of a day, though - she saw a student vet first, then one of the general vets, and then went off to see the neurologist, and have an examination. When she came back, she was accompanied by the first student, the general vet, the neurologist and two other people (maybe more students). They want d her to see an orthopaedic surgeon and the physiotherapist so we hung around u TIL they were free, and had another consultation, then made the physio appointments and got some tablets to her.

Her appointment was at 11.30, and we finally left at 2pm - but they were absolutely marvellous, and it was much better for us to wait than to have to come back.

Glasgow Small Animal hospital are great!

On the downside, I am still absolutely exhausted - I fell asleep this afternoon on the couch - and the hot water isn’t working. We had some problems at the weekend and the engineer came out, and dh thought it was all fixed, but there was no hot water this morning. I assumed that the boiler had just switched off, but I reset it, and it’s not heating the hot water. Thankfully dh is coming home tomorrow night, so he can have Stern Words with it - and in the meantime, I can use the immersion heater.

I am feeling less down than I was - not much, but still an improvement.

Sorry - that was an essay!

Sending you hugs.
I understand the weight thing. Not steroid though antidepressants. They work though so I just have to grit my teeth.