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To buy small 2-bed or private rental 3 bed?

4 replies

AdultHumanFemale · 23/09/2019 10:29

I am considering separation (unmarried) and am trying to figure out what future housing for me and DC (9&6) might look like. The sale of our jointly owned home would generate enough capital (50-50 split of equity as have paid for mortgage this way, right down to the penny) for me to pay a sizeable deposit on a small house in our area (already a cheap area, so no real chance of picking up a cheaper deal by going out of area as everywhere else is more expensive). I would be able to buy a 2 bed house with a manageable mortgage. But is it crazy to buy a 2 bed house for the 3 of us (I'm resigned to sleeping on a pull out bed in the living room)? I can't seriously believe that a 3 bed private rented makes more sense, but maybe I am missing something? I have seen a couple of 3 beds, but they have been in desperate need of refurbishment, like all downstairs floorboards pulled up etc, not just cosmetic. I won't have spare funds for substantial refurbishments (or extending) bar basic fund for emergency repairs.
For context, I could easily afford to stay in current home (would love to) and pay mortgage but really want to avoid things getting tangly with DP, as I can not afford to buy him out. He's offered to take joint savings in place of 50% of equity buy out, but he'd lose out by tens of thousands, and I am pretty sure resentment would build eventually. I want him to be in a position to be able to set himself up in a home in which he could have DC to stay too, although I anticipate I would have them most of the time.

So, what do I really need to consider if thinking of buying a 2-bed house for 3 people? I'm aware I am probably looking at the whole thing through giddy freedom goggles, trying to make it OK.

OP posts:
ToelessPobble · 23/09/2019 10:34

You haven't said if you have boys, girls or one of each? If the same sex can they not share, even if you give them the bigger room? If they can't have you looked into shared ownership as another option to get a larger property?

In regards to another deal with your DP could you not agree his deal with an agreement to sell when the children are out of full time education and him then get further equity to even things up? It would lessen the blow to the children not to lose their home. They won't need a huge amount of space if just visiting their dad at weekends or whatever you decide.

PrimalLass · 23/09/2019 10:39

Take the deal from your DP and keep your house. You'd be crazy not to.

beachcomber70 · 23/09/2019 11:51

Personally I'd buy the 2 bed and be clear financially from the DP.

I did this. I wanted freedom and my own place...and had been made redundant. I moved to a cheaper though decent area. The boys shared and that worked well.

The DP will inevitably move on. Things change...so best to bite the bullet now and have no future surprises. Don't rent.

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AdultHumanFemale · 23/09/2019 22:39

Thank you for your thoughts. It reflects my own thinking process perfectly. It is so tempting to stay here, but I know I would either feel guilty about DP not being able to afford a big enough place on his own, or, if he remained an interested party, he would perpetually be keeping an eye on upkeep of the property with a view to maximising sale price once I moved on. I'd never be able to relax... But leaving would be harrowing; DC were born in the kitchen, close family live literally within spitting distance etc. I'm in such an uncomfortable place with it all, on the one hand, I am excited to finally be seeing a little light at the end of what has been a loooong tunnel, and on the other, I know whatever I do, it'll hurt, be inconvenient and scary.
On a slightly fun note, I have just realised that DP, being a 'mature' father, is actually eligible to buy an 'over 55s' retirement flat as of this year, and some of them are quite nice. Tickles me Wink

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