Parents neighbour - son ill *trigger warning*

[cjt110]

We discovered this weekend via my Mum's neighbour's mum that the lovely, smiley, beautiful boy who lives with mum's neighbour had leukaemia. He's 2.5. It started with a bout of tonsillitis.

I feel I ought to do something. But anything I think of seems pretty. Like I'm being nosey.

I know mum's neigh our to say hello and the kids (mine 5) have played together and shared a box of ice lollies.

What can or should I do?

Do you cook / bake? Could you just drop something homemade round to them with a little note saying you heard the news and are thinking of them?

I've done this a couple of times for bereavement / serious illness and it's always been very much appreciated.

They aren't at home right now. They're at the hospital 24/7 I believe x

Parking or Uber or Uber eats vouchers

As someone who had a very sick child who was in hospital for long periods of time I would suggest loads of nice pyjamas since they probably need at least one new pair a day and won't have easy access to washing facilities. I don't know if his size will change, DD took high dose steroids which meant her normal clothes soon became too tight, but chemo could possibly cause weight loss.

Great idea. Some pjs. He's 2.5 but maybe get a 4 year old pair?

Could you do something practical like bins out, cut their grass? Offer to help with any pets?

I wouldn’t get some oversized pjs. Just in case she thinks they’re regifted or something. How about a Costa gift card inside a beautiful card. I bet they’re living on caffeine at the moment.

Cooks voucher, so when they do finally have some time at home they don't need to waste time cooking.
www.cookfood.net/vouchers

Dog walking if needed.

Do you know what ward he is in? You could get brownies delivered to the ward for him.

If you know which hospital they're in, a gift card for whatever cafe happens to be downstairs (seems to be a lot of costa springing up in hospitals now) or maybe whsmith if there's one nearby for snacks and magazines etc. Stick it inside a nice card and write that you're happy to help with practical things like taking bins out etc as a PP suggested and put your phone number inside the card.

I think he's in one of 2 hospitals in the next city.

The house appears to be taken care of. She has no pets. Bins are on the front. Her Mum called round to get her some bits and bobs and the neighbour whom she is close to will no doubt keep an eye on the house.

Is it silly that I would like, to suggest I be matched for a donor if he needs anything?

That's a kind thought but I wouldnt say this at the moment, they may not have even discussed this. I would offer practical support, the ward may not allow outside food to be sent it but could you buy something for the mum to take in.

Is it silly that I would like, to suggest I be matched for a donor if he needs anything?

I don’t think it’s silly to want to help, but at first I’d keep it simple and thoughtful; (his age size) pyjamas and a coffee card, as others have suggested. They must be reeling, so maybe keep your powder dry re being a donor, I assume you could make the offer known fairly easily, either directly, or via one/both of the mothers, if that’s raised as a treatment option.

I wouldn’t offer to be a donor, I don’t know what type he has, the most common type though only required a donor when all the normal protocols have failed

Send a card, if you can afford it a voucher for the coffee shop in the hospital. Is there a brother or sister? Offering to help with any child care or keeping things normal, also if you send anything to the child with leukaemia remember to include the brother or sister too. If he has ALL (the most common type in kids) they are in for 3.5 years of chemo therapy, they will probably receive a lot of support in the early days but sadly people lose interest and move on. When he is bald and fragile looking they will get more support than when he looks well with a full head of hair but still on treatment they still need support then

Also join the bone marrow register, it’s the place they will look first (outside of his family) if he does need a transplant and who knows whose life you might save. Anthony Nolan lets people sign up aged up to 40 but delete blood cancer goes up to 60.

I am already a blood donor but have had to stop due to having ME.

I think you should just do / get something low key and practical with a little note wishing them well and asking them to let you know if they need anything as your mum is just next door.

Unfortunately sad and challenging times do seem bring out people who go completely OTT in ridiculous and unnecessary 'support ' for people they hardly know (usually so they can post about it on Social Media not because it is remotely helpful to the parents )

Totally agree with @GeoffreyAndBungle - just do something simple and low-key- I would just send a notelet with an offer to help if needed, and maybe a story book.
Offering to be a donor I think would just add stress at this stage.

I've managed to find Mum's neighbour on facebook and sent her a message just saying I was thinking of them all and if they need anything at all to let me know. And sending my love too

You can’t donate bone marrow with ME.

If the mum replies I would offer something practical in the future too as ‘ask if you need anything’ can be a little open ended